Hes cheated on me

[Shelleygi]

Just been discharged from hospital 3 days ago and husband has come home last night and said hes cheated on me with a very young girl from work. She is accusing him of taking advantage of her sad he got her drunk etc.. this Happened the day I came out of hospital. I'm heartbroken dont know what to do

She’s an adult, why on earth would you tell her parents. You need to stay away from the girl or you could be warned for harassment. As for your husband he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t get locked up for rape.

Not to mention breaking the lockdown rules of coming within 2m of someone he doesn't live with! Abuse of power threefold here. Awful.

Hmm, you might be right skeeme further posts are so ludicrous it either definitely did happen or its someone's warped twisted fantasy.

She's got him by the short and curlies.

Unfair dismissal which will result in compensation pay out or criminal action which could result in prison for the husband. Either way you are looking at some big legal bills. He has only told you because he knows what could be coming.

It's a shit situation but if you harass her you will make it even worse, plus she will have witnesses to the harassment i.e her parents.

OP seriously, your anger is directed at the wrong person here.
Your husband is the one who has vowed not to sleep with others.
She is in the wrong, knowing he's married but it's him you should be angry at.

You need to forget about your husbands problems rn and think about how you feel. Do you believe him? Are you able to forgive him? Do you want to stand by him?

Depending on your answers to those questions then you can decide what is next. If the answer is yes to all those then you need to discuss what happened and why. Are there problems in your relationship? What caused him to sleep with someone else?

That being said, it is clear that you believe him so therefore you need to be prepared to stand by him if the girl does go to the police and the repucussions it may cause. If the girl is 18yo and consented then it will be based on he said, she said. If you try to reach out to the girl and it does go to the police that could be seen as intimidation. The only option would be to speak to her parents however, if the girl reiterates she didn't consent, her parents will go to the police whether she wants to or not.

Do you have friends or family you can talk to? I don't think posting on here with such patchy details is going to do you any favours. People are judging on the limited information you share and ultimately all these posts are going to do is make you feel worse.

No one's life is perfect and everyone is quick to judge when it isn't there life under the microscope. #bekind

I think you need to take a step back op from your dh and the girl. You don't want to get in the middle of a potential rape case AND an employment tribunal. You'll only muddy the waters regardless of what you do.

The fact is you only know that he's slept with someone he works with, and then told her she shouldn't come back to work. Is that the behaviour of someone you want to remain in a relationship with?

A- he's had sex with someone else whilst married with kids and his wife was in hospital

B- he's used his seniority over her to try and push her out of a job

Seriously best case scenario he's been caught dipping his ink in the company well. Worst case he'll get prosecuted for rape and lose his job, plus he'll get blacklisted for dragging a company through the mire via an employment tribunal

He's either extremely arrogant or extremely stupid or a combination of the both

He told her I'm sorry I've made a mistake I dont think you should work here anymore

Possibly the wrong bit to zone in on here, but how dare he?! If HE knows HE made a mistake (and, let's be honest, as the one 17 years her senior who's already in a relationship, it really was his mistake not hers), then why would he think it reasonable that SHE should be the one to leave?

Honestly OP what your husband did is despicable and you don't deserve it, but your anger is misplaced if you're directing it towards this woman. The only person who betrayed you in this scenario is the man you married.

This is a horrible horrible story. At its best he’s cheated on you and broken your heart whilst you were at your lowest point. Men with good moral codes who love you don’t do this. Depending on your housing situation (renting, mortgage, housing assoc), I would be asking him to go and stay with a friend or family member so you can get your head around this. Work out your options regarding finances, childcare etc.you haven’t got a future with this man and whatever shit storm he’s about to be sucked into, it isn’t up to you to support him. Whatever has happened with that young girl don’t be drawn in to it, at worst he’s a fucking rapist, you can’t have a future with this man. You will always hate him, you will never trust him. Talk to your family you shouldn’t deal with this without RL life support.

Op you need to tell him to leave. The rest is his problem

He sacked her because he fucked her while you were in hospital? Does he treat every woman like a disposable blow up doll op, or just this 18 year old?

I don't think it matters that he cheated on you. He is horrible, you hold similarly repugnant views, you are a match made in hell. Crack on I say, before he gets out away plait rape.

So at the very least he's guilty of cheating, sexual harassment and discrimination in the workplace! Yes he sounds a prize!

It's also a place where if you behave badly you'll be told so and told to do better.

You are blaming entirely the wrong person for this situation - an 18 year old who was possibly raped!

NOT the at very least lecherous, entitled, selfish arse who betrayed you both! And is continuing to victimise his subordinate!

Just because she has held off on reporting to police until he threatened to sack her doesn't mean it wasn't rape!

OP your husband is horrific. At best he’s a cheat and a bully (telling her to quit). At worst he’s a child rapist.

The reason people are having a go at you here is because you are blaming a single 18 year old girl for the actions of a married 35 year old man whose wife was in hospital during a global pandemic. Can you not see how ridiculous that is? Even if she were the most evil person on the planet, your husband did not have to put his dick inside her whilst you were ill. That was entirely his decision. You need to focus on that. She is completely irrelevant - if it wasn’t her it would have been someone else as your husband is a cheat. And has sex with children.

Child rapist?

FFS.

This thread is ridiculous.

Jesus, he fucked her then fired her?

What an absolute and utter fucking scumball.

I agree Isawamagpie, it smacks of MN bait - in hospital with Coronavirus, cheating husband, antediluvian internalised misogyny.

In A Global Pandemic too!

I’m starting to agree with others. Something about this is just off. I’m not convinced

Why would you trust what he's telling you?

Re. the last few posts, there seem to have been a good deal more wind-up posts since so-called 'lockdown': some bored people clearly need entertainment and not everyone professes to like Mumsnet or the members who inhabit it.

Sadly, I've come up against women from time to time who have been so well-worked on by abusive males that they do start to sound not dissimilar to this OP (albeit the drip-feeds do not convince). And normally I'd be a lot more supportive of them, too. But save the actual perpetrators, there is nothing I despise more than a victim blamer.

For this reason I hope this thread is allowed to stand.

Shes been trying it on with him for months knowing that he had a wife and family. So no I dont feel sorry for her at all. He should know better at 35 and I dont and wont ever condone what he has done but what type of person sleeps with a married man? They arranged to have a drink they both knew what the outcome would be sorry I'm really angry and know ppl will attack me for this

*Instead of asking what 18 year old would sleep with a married man, ask yourself what 35 year old married man would sleep with a drunk 18 year old?

Your husband is revolting. Your husband is revolting.*

Exactly!

Most 18 yr old girls think 38 is ANCIENT! I don't think she was chasing him at all, I'd say it was all him, he just really fancied a much younger woman (girl!) and wouldn't take no for an answer.

You're apologizing for a pervert OP. Your husband is the one you should be disgusted with. You're being ridiculous.

@Shelleygi

Haven't even kicked him out then?

How embarrassing.

The vitriol you are spewing about this young woman is disgusting.

Your husband is 35 and best case scenario got drunk and shagged an 18 year old junior colleague.

Best case.

Bet he was back in your bed last night or the sofa if you were feeling really angry with him.

Raise your standards and rethink your misogyny.

How did it even happen in lock down?

No this is not a joke this is my life and it's really happened I've only been posting bits of info cos my life is ruined. I would never wish any type of sexual assault on ANYONE yes I'm in bits and angry but the abuse I'm getting off some ppl on here is disgusting. I dont have anyone I can talk to so that's why I came on here.... I realise that was a mistake now cos I've been made out to be a fucking monster