Hes cheated on me

[Shelleygi]

Just been discharged from hospital 3 days ago and husband has come home last night and said hes cheated on me with a very young girl from work. She is accusing him of taking advantage of her sad he got her drunk etc.. this Happened the day I came out of hospital. I'm heartbroken dont know what to do

I dont need to change people's opinion of me I didnt fucking do anything wrong I came on here to ask for support and I'm the one getting attacked thought this was meant to be a supportive place for people to come ask advice when they dont have anyone else to talk to

Shelley I'm so sorry you're going through this, I can understand why you feel so hurt and confused. Your husband is a horrible person, really the worst. Every post you write makes him sound even more disgusting. You were sick in hospital with an illness people are dying from in the most pitiful what and he decides to take this 'opportunity ' to leave his kids, get the office Junior drunk and have maybe consensual sex with her, and then tell her if she talks he'll sack her? And you're okay with that?

Again your anger is misplaced, go get an STD check and kick the fucker out. You deserve so much better.

Well maybe start talking about what you intend to do right op. Instead of banging on about how this daft young lass is the route of all evil.

Though I'm sure most of us get that you are under a lot of stress and that is why you are looking for anyone to blame but him. But really, c'mon now.

Have you kicked the scoundrel out yet?

@shelleygi You haven’t responded even to the posters who simply said they’d kick him out? Regardless of my opinion of your posts on here, you haven’t really responded to even the type of advice you want. What precisely do you want advice on, if so far we are missing the mark?

I think everything about this situation has been filtered through your husband - who by his own admission is a liar and a cheat and it's clear that the only reason that he's telling you anything is that he's in deep shit. Deep shit of the kind that brings authorities to your door.

So that's why my advice would be to focus on you and only you. Not him. Look at this logically and figure out that if the police do come to your door with a rape charge, what's the fallout from that for you - your job perhaps? Will SS be investigating given you've children? That sort of thing. Does he need to leave the home so you can show SS you are able to protect them?

As for her, well, someone else said it perfectly earlier, you wanting to contact her parents show that you DO see her as a child incapable of making wise decisions rather than a manipulative adult that he's trying to convince you she is.

You don’t seem to want to hear the advice, since you’re ignoring everything people have said about your husband and seem intent on believing him and blaming a teenage girl for his behaviour.

It's a food shop he told her I'm sorry I've made a mistake I dont think you should work here anymore. THEN she said if you sack me or if anyone says anything to me I'll tell police you got me drunk and forced me. She was telling him she would work for free when he told her not to come back.

So thanks everyone yes im a fucking horrible person.

Nice drip-feed there. No, not necessarily (albeit your idea of potentially harrassing an alleged rape victim and involving her parents is undeniably a fucking horrible action).

What you are, is incredibly gullible if you believe a single word your 'husband', a proven liar, a cheat, and the real 'horrible person' in this scenario, tells you as he fudges and hedges his way around this. And in the highly unlikely event of his most recent disclaimer being true, he comes across even worse than he did before. Now it transpires that, not content with taking sexual advantage of a young teenager, he's threatened her with losing her job over something which was very much his responsibility. What exactly did you want to hear on this thread, PP - that you've got yourself a real keeper?

Nice guy. Reeeeeeal nice.

You dont want advice, you want us to support you in the belief that a 18yr old is to blame for your DH cheating when you were ill in hospital. You have focussed on this teenager and talked about speaking to her parents. If you am to my house I would tell you to leave my DD alone and go and deal with your cheating DH. Focus on him and stop going on about this girl who he has since tried to sack....

So your husband not only took advantage of a teenager, but also his employee?

So the best case scenario is that your husband, whilst you were at deaths door fighting for life in a pandemic, left his children, swanned off for a drink (where?!?) with the office junior that he KNOWS has a huge crush on him, got drunk with her, shagged her, and threatened to fire her if she told?
That's the best case scenario?

I don't think you need to come here for advice, it's pretty clear what you need to do

Ok...but, so?

He slept with an 18 year old while you were in hospital op. Literally none of the rest of it matters rn.

Why are you trying yourself up in knots with HIS problem? Which is what she is. HIS problem.

Aldo, you are hearing all this from his mouth presumably? But you know you cant trust a word he says. So it literally means nothing anyway.

He's basically like that snake from the jungle book. His words are just to hypnotise you and draw you in. He'll say whatever just to keep your focus away from what actually matters: that he is an utter scumball.

What did you expect people to tell you? Your husband has done a god awful thing. He should be losing his job NOT the young. He was irresponsible.

HE made a mistake so SHE shouldn't work there any more. She should take him to the cleaners. I'm sure we've misunderstood but you seem to be blaming her?!

Ok op let's pull back a little and try look at it from another angle.

This eighteen year old is legally an adult and should be treated as such. She has had her eye on your husband and has been enjoying flirting and how uncomfortable it makes him. He has turned her down consistently but was so stressed with you in hospital he found himself agreeing to a drink and one thing led to another. He then regretted it and she turns on him with threats...

That is literally the KINDEST way to paint it.

But still -

Why didnt he put an end to the flirting? Why did he go for a drink with her? Why did he have sex with another person? Why did he have such bad judgement to get involved with a teenager? Why is he attracted to a teenager? Why did he then try to bully her out of her job? Why did he only decide to come clean to you after he realised trouble was coming knocking?

See op, there is no way to paint him as the innocent, there really isn't.

And let's face it; that scenario I've painted is nonsense. He got her drunk, took advantage and then tried to get rid of her.

He is the bad guy. You deserve so much better. Get rid of him.

Are you staying with the definite cheat and potential rapist then op?

He asked her to resign? Appalling

Op, stop focusing on what she did or didn't say.

The problem here is your DH. No matter what she did or didn't do, he shagged her whilst you were possibly dying.

Focusing on her to the extent you are in these circumstances is bizarre. It's your husband that's done something unforgivable to you.

Why won't you address that?

Where did they go for a drink?

Putting your penis inside a drunk teenager was his choice. He is gaslighting you. He thought he had all the power over you two but if his wife kicks him out and the police get involved he has had his power taken away. He is saying anything to get you to stay with him not because he loves you but because you are a prop and he thinks you will help with damage limitation. You need to get him to leave so at least you can start to think straight. He did not mistakenly insert his penis he made a cold calculated choice

He’s in real legal trouble here...potential rape, trying to force her to resign. Properly got his eye on the next victim. Get her out she’s old news. I hope she reports him and if it’s his business I hope it’s shut! No one else ever works under the disgusting leech. Why are good people dying while this scum lives!

He put his penis into someone else repeatedly op. He wasn’t thinking of you in hospital then was he? He shagged her, perhaps against her will. Did he use protection? It’s not oh poor me she kept pestering, he had to get hard and plough her...not a pleasant thought.

Get him out and get some self respect op. People are dying and you’re wasting your life. When you look back on it sick will come to your throat. You were in hospital during a pandemic, while your husband raped a teenager...

This post can’t be real.

I'm not surprised by your update re her threats. I thought about that scenario yesterday.

This needs to be handled properly by HR so that no one gets what isn't fair.

She shouldn't lose her job but she's not done herself any favours by threatening to cry rape.

He's clearly a twat and it's all been said.

OP is there no family or friend you can tell? I feel you need a person, in person to tell you it is ok for you to kick his sorry arse out the door. Because it is ok.

You don't have to hear any more sorry excuses from him. Or look for a reason to explain or excuse why he did what he did. He did it because he could and because he couldn't give a flying fig about you, her or anyone but himself.

If he had a minuscule amount of respect for you he would have left home himself by now anyway btw. Or at least (if he is staying be ause you are ill) removed himself to the sofa. Though tbh if it were me, he'd be out in his arse even if I had to crawl around the house myself rn. He didn't give a fig while you were I'll in hospital so I wouldn't be able to stand him pretending yo be helpful now.

*ill