A little suspicious - any knowledgeable WhatsApp users around?

[Butteredtoastandcoffee]

Changed username for this.

I think DH might be blocking and unblocking me on WhatsApp.

He works away midweek. I noticed randomly a while ago that his profile pic on WhatsApp had changed to nothing. Before it had been a pic of us all.

Then noticed on sons phone a while later (he was showing me messages) it was a pic of the kids.

I didn't think much of it. Then I was whatsapping someone and his pic was of the kids on mine too. Basically thought I must have been mistaken and promptly forgot all about it. We very rarely WhatsApp each other, we mainly use iMessage but he uses WhatsApp with the kids and other family/friends. I use it for the kids and workmates mainly.

Fast forward to last night. Was on WhatsApp and saw the picture of the kids. He is quite high up on my chats list.

For some reason I screenshot it. Then this morning, went to WhatsApp my sister and the pic is back to nothing again. It's of the kids on my sons!

I WhatsApped a message and it's just got one tick and has for ages. But on a group kids chat we are on it went to two straight away for him when I messaged this morning.

This is just weird!

It can't be that he wants to hide his last online as he has that set so nobody sees that anyway. He wouldn't need to block me for that.

Any ideas as to why?

I know the right thing to do is ask. I don't really want to do that right now.

Hmm - I hope you get to the bottom
If this OP, it’s a strange one! It does seem a daft thing to do - completely draws more attention and instantly looks more so much more suspicious than it just showing him being online late at night!

Yes. Blocking and unblocking. Not every night but roughly the same time.

He may have read-receipts turned off, which will affect all one-to-one chats, but, importantly, not group chats.

I second getting an app tracker like another suggested. You would certainly get a feel for if he’s using it for long periods when he’s away whether you are blocked or not and if it’s not you or the kids (and you would know that) then I would be suspicious unless he’s in the habit of whatsapping friends for long ‘chats’ at funny times of day- I’ve met very few men who are beyond the age of 30

If your husband is blocking/unblocking you to not appear online on WhatsApp he must be pretty stupid.

You can reply to messages on notification banners without appearing online on WhatsApp

I'd be concerned the nights he isnt blocking you is when be is meeting the person. Replying to your messages doesnt indicate anything, the person maybe knows he is married and they are his mistress. Especially if he doesnt seem to be messaging alot when home as surely that would make whoever he has been messaging curious as to why he never messages at the weekend.

Any ideas who he could be talking to?

I used to see exH and the OW go online on WhatsApp and then off it at the same time. I used to take screenshots. until I decided he wasn't worth it.

A PP said upthread about life being short, and I agree...

If I were you I'd stay up late one night with both yours and your sons phone. Screen shot on both phones the exact minute you're blocked, but your son isn't.

iMessage immediately.... 'life's too short. Start explaining. I will not be responding until I think I've heard the full truth'. Don't respond at all costs

For those with two WhatsApp accounts with different numbers ( I think there were two) what happens to the first account when the other is logged into?

When he does come home, if u manage to get hold of his phone... Then uninstall and reinstall WhatsApp on his phone. If he deleted things before coming home then doing this will revert WhatsApp to the last backup save thus restoring msgs

If u really want ti go down that rabbit whole, once u get hold of his phone u can send urself his phone book and monitor whether his being online/blocking u coincides with someone from. His phone book being online too

Op

If he'd blocked you the group message wouldn't be working either.

What I don't get that unless he thinks you're completely stupid........ he must realise that you will notice you have been blocked???

@Aerial2020 That's what I think too!

@Butteredtoastandcoffee Is he really thick?

Op I hope you are okay. Sending a virtual hug.

Something weird is happening.

So he blocked me. Could see him online for a small time.

Then.....nothing.

I now think he is blocking me, then switching WhatsApp accounts/sims. Yes I know this is getting weird.

But that made me think why would he bother blocking me?

But to be honest I think it's a security thing.

I now have a sim in an old phone to use to check and as I haven't reset everything on the old phone (which he obv wouldn't if switching sims) when you put the new sim in, all old settings are saved, old WhatsApp chats etc on the App. You feel you are on as the old phone even with the new sim as only the number has changed.

I feel uncomfortable every time I'm on using the sim number and keep going to my real phone and checking I'm not visible online! It's hard to explain what I mean but it is very strange.

Also I noticed a while ago he is carrying one of those little key things to get access to sims on his key ring. At the time I thought it was just a handy place to keep it. But now I'm wondering why would you need such easy access.

I'll check again tonight. Yes, I know this is all very very weird.

I think he is blocking and unblocking me when he thinks I'm asleep/in bed. I said I was having an early night after a specific programme and 10 mins after it ended I was blocked

All contacts are saved too so it really does feel as thought you are on the old account.

Also, he thinks I don't really use WhatsApp. He's right, I don't generally, for those saying but I'd notice I was blocked.

This has likely been going on for ages and I have just noticed this weekend.

I don't think he'd use another talking app as I may see it.

I think by signing in and out of an existing app he thinks it's safer.

Working away means I'd never find the bloody sim would I?

@Butteredtoastandcoffee, really hope you are coping with the stress and uncertainty it must be causing you. A lot of the tech stuff is beyond me so not sure what you can see happening with the phones actually means. You may not wish to be specific but when is he next due home ? I think you need to see what happens when you are back in the same place together. If he has spare sims on a keyring (?) could you get hold of them somehow. ? You have no choice now that the idea is in your head that's he's up to something to try and work out what it is . But make sure you are taking care of yourself whilst this is happening

So he’s cheating.... what a bastard. Need to look for that spare sim when he’s back and have a phone charged up to check it.

Blocking and unblocking you in WhatsApp, carrying a key around for easy access to his sims .
Who needs different sims anyway ? I dont think there can be any good reason for this nonsense .
I’d be having the house out , if he’s up to no good there has to be some sort of evidence that he’s forgotten to hide away

You need to try and link his phone with an iPad somehow so you can actually watch what he’s doing. There’s no doubt at all in my mind that he’s playing away. I can’t understand why, if he’s removing a sim, he’s still showing up on your son’s phone, though?

I'm tempted to just confront. I have a lot going on at the moment and the anxiety this is causing is awful. I can't relax.

He's not showing up on my sons phone as online. Just his pic. So not blocked.

I think that's what's happening now. He leaves his phone around occasionally but he would wouldn't he? If everything is on another sim.

The blocking thing I think is just for security.