A little suspicious - any knowledgeable WhatsApp users around?

[Butteredtoastandcoffee]

Changed username for this.

I think DH might be blocking and unblocking me on WhatsApp.

He works away midweek. I noticed randomly a while ago that his profile pic on WhatsApp had changed to nothing. Before it had been a pic of us all.

Then noticed on sons phone a while later (he was showing me messages) it was a pic of the kids.

I didn't think much of it. Then I was whatsapping someone and his pic was of the kids on mine too. Basically thought I must have been mistaken and promptly forgot all about it. We very rarely WhatsApp each other, we mainly use iMessage but he uses WhatsApp with the kids and other family/friends. I use it for the kids and workmates mainly.

Fast forward to last night. Was on WhatsApp and saw the picture of the kids. He is quite high up on my chats list.

For some reason I screenshot it. Then this morning, went to WhatsApp my sister and the pic is back to nothing again. It's of the kids on my sons!

I WhatsApped a message and it's just got one tick and has for ages. But on a group kids chat we are on it went to two straight away for him when I messaged this morning.

This is just weird!

It can't be that he wants to hide his last online as he has that set so nobody sees that anyway. He wouldn't need to block me for that.

Any ideas as to why?

I know the right thing to do is ask. I don't really want to do that right now.

Hi all

Sorry for the delay.

It didn't happen one night but has continued.

I won't be cloning the WhatsApp.

I intend to keep monitoring for a while.

All speculation welcome. It's hard to read but at the same time I posted on here for a reason! I actually appreciate the time taken by posters to give their views. Those that have gone through it and those that have not.

I never thought I'd be here. But, well, I am.
That seems to be a common occurrence too.

I will continue to monitor. Yes it's affecting my wellbeing, no doubt about that as my sleeping is affected, but if I confront now I strongly believe that I will always wonder. That will do more damage in the long term.

I think he would know I had cloned it. I think that would draw more attention to it.

Just get a sim in an old phone Op that will be enough evidence to know you are blocked and you can see when he's 'online'

@Butteredtoastandcoffee Is there a chance that he could actually be spending time with someone else?

It is very easy on IPhone to set iMesages from one person to 'do not disturb' this means that messages from you don't pop up on his home screen and he has to go onto messages and then click on you to get your messages.

If he is with someone he can easily silence your iMessages (can't do this with WhatsApp) so maybe he blocks you in case you message him on Whatsapp so that no messages from you can pop up on his phone?

Does he work away a lot?

This must be hard for you- but remember there may be a reason for this that is nothing bad!
Keep strong- at least you've noticed somehting is going on, would be worse to be oblivious!

Try not to stress- you and your kids are fine that's the main thing 😁

Hi. I don't think so as when blocked one time, I sent a message that was responded to!

I don't think he is with anyone. I think this designed to stop me seeing or getting an inkling of him being in prolonged contact with other(s).

I sent a string of iMessages actually. All responded to.

Yes he works away a lot.

Send him a funny meme on WhatsApp and then call him to discuss it after a length of time. When he says he has not received it then just ask him wtf is going on.

Life is too short for this, surely

So sorry you’re going thru this OP. Its gut wrenching and I know exactly how you feel. Like others have said, if you want to walk away from anything you dont need justification to do it. However I need concrete proof and dont take well to being lied to hence me cloning an ex’s ipad - and I was spot on the money. He was really tech savvy and never guessed and the shock of seeing him message someone in black and white, exchanging pics... it made me see clearly that I didnt know who the hell he was. Also the general tone of the things he shared with friends shocked me and it was NOTHING like the man I was living with. Half the cretins behaving in this way do it for the thrill of it. I would work my ass off at any relationship and dont throw the towel in easily so NEEDED to know for sure.

I got rid in a spectacular fashion involving wrecking his car but I do appreciate my approach isn’t for everyone! I just wasnt so foolish as to believe something as ridiculous As my words would hurt him, but repairing the car that was his runaround as apparently his proper car belonged to a wife that I didnt know even fucking existed certainly did. Whatever makes the heartbreak a bit easier!

Sorry - not living with, going out with. Might has well have been the freeloading twat.

He could be on dating sites, and using WhatsApp to message unsuspecting women he's reeled in? Lots of married men on these sites.

I just don't think it makes sense!

You can hide when you're online easily, my friend has it and the only reason I can tell when she's online is because my ticks go blue.

What would he achieve blocking you ONLY to hide when he's online? The only reason I can think of is that he's said goodnight and then is still on whatsapp, but as he has no last seen, the ONLY way you'd know is if you happened to be online too and he'd only think of it if he's used to you saying 'oh thought you went to bed but you're on whatsapp' - Have you ever done this OP?

also, surely if he's speaking to someone else he would just use a different messaging app? This is FAR too much effort.

I can vouch that whatsapp does mess up although I doubt it is here. DP's whatsapp always does it. For example, when his dad got a phone (lol this was about 2 months ago) DP tried adding his dad to a whatsapp group but his dad's number wouldn't come up in the contacts as it said he didn't have whatsapp. But then for me, I could easily see his dad's whatsapp and add him. A few times later and attempts, eventually he could add his dad. We knew his dad couldn't have blocked him as the phone was in our hands!

I just don't think it makes sense!

You can hide when you're online easily, my friend has it and the only reason I can tell when she's online is because my ticks go blue.

^ Exactly this. You can just hide the online status in settings. He wouldn’t need to block you for that reason.

I do think it’s oddly suspicious though. I just don’t get why he’s doing it.

You can’t hide the online status, just last seen. At least on my phone that’s the only option. I’d have to block someone in order for them to not see when I’m online.

You can hide last seen easily, but not online. The only way to hide that you are online is to block someone. I've learned that the past few days

Yes I have mentioned to him that I saw him on WhatsApp late one night.

I've got two phone (personal and work), the first photo is me offline with my 'last seen' turned off, the second photo is me offline but with my 'last seen' turned on, the third photo is me online, this is the same regardless if I've got my 'last seen' on or off.
I've scribbled my name out

What I don't get that unless he thinks you're completely stupid........ he must realise that you will notice you have been blocked???

It's to stop OP possibly seeing him as 'online' in tjd middle of the night or similar, as she did a few weeks ago, and then thinking 'who's he on WhatsApp to at 2am?' and drawing an obvious conclusion from that. I firmly predict that he is using it a lot more than he seems to be and at odd times and wants to conceal that.

OP, there are, or certainly were, apps out there to track someone's usage of WhatsApp, so when they are going on and off it. You could think about looking to see if any are still available, as you'd have to pay but it would avoid the need to be actually looking at 2am with another SIM to have sight of this happening.

Is it not more relevant that you are unhappy and don’t trust him? Rather than trying to catch him out on WhatsApp would it be better for your mental health to work out what’s good about the relationship, what’s not, what changes you want, and can make. Then have a conversation with him?

My DH works away a lot and I trust him entirely and he trusts me. The relationship wouldn’t work without that trust.

What @MangoHat says. In the end, whether it's just a mistake or something deliberate isn't really relevant. If you don't trust him anymore, that's the real problem.

It can't be a mistake if he is doing it every evening.

I do agree though, that you do not actually need proof to discuss this. You can come from the point of know that this is happening. ''Doesn't matter if you deny it. I know. Now you can choose to tell me the truth or we can end our marriage''. And then wait for him to speak.

Or you just end your marriage because of all the reasons you have, including this one, that you do not trust him.

Sorry this thread is ridiculous.

I haven’t read one sensible explanation why he would block OP on WhatsApp.
Blocking someone would create more risk and questions/suspicion.

If you've got an android phone you can download an app called wazdog. You get to use it for 3 days without having to pay. All you need is the persons phone number.

It basically alerts you every time a person who has blocked you is online on WhatsApp. It notifies you every time they're online, length of time they've been online and when they go offline.

You could then see from this the times your blocked, the length of times and at what times he's still going online.

I’d be taking the opportunity whilst he’s away to go through all of his stuff to see if you can find any further clues and also ensuring you’ve got copies of any documents you want if you leave him.

I don't think he is with anyone. I think this designed to stop me seeing or getting an inkling of him being in prolonged contact with other(s).

Has he been blocking/unblocking you over the last few nights/days?