A little suspicious - any knowledgeable WhatsApp users around?

[Butteredtoastandcoffee]

Changed username for this.

I think DH might be blocking and unblocking me on WhatsApp.

He works away midweek. I noticed randomly a while ago that his profile pic on WhatsApp had changed to nothing. Before it had been a pic of us all.

Then noticed on sons phone a while later (he was showing me messages) it was a pic of the kids.

I didn't think much of it. Then I was whatsapping someone and his pic was of the kids on mine too. Basically thought I must have been mistaken and promptly forgot all about it. We very rarely WhatsApp each other, we mainly use iMessage but he uses WhatsApp with the kids and other family/friends. I use it for the kids and workmates mainly.

Fast forward to last night. Was on WhatsApp and saw the picture of the kids. He is quite high up on my chats list.

For some reason I screenshot it. Then this morning, went to WhatsApp my sister and the pic is back to nothing again. It's of the kids on my sons!

I WhatsApped a message and it's just got one tick and has for ages. But on a group kids chat we are on it went to two straight away for him when I messaged this morning.

This is just weird!

It can't be that he wants to hide his last online as he has that set so nobody sees that anyway. He wouldn't need to block me for that.

Any ideas as to why?

I know the right thing to do is ask. I don't really want to do that right now.

He nearly shit himself this morning when I said I'd had a late night watching telly last night.

Any chance he's selling drugs?

Don't confront him whilst he's away if you can avoid it . How soon is he back home ?

No to the drugs.

This weekend maybe.

I wouldn’t confront him either. He’s obviously a deceitful man and all he’ll do is cover his tracks. I feel for you as being lied to is actually exhausting. When does he come home?

Crossed posts with you there. It can’t be another sim otherwise he wouldn’t show up on your son’s phone, surely? I suspect the only way to find out what he’s doing will be to link his phone with another device and have WhatsApp on there, too.

I'm close to tears a lot of the time and look like absolute shite.

I'll try to hold off till the weekend when we think he will be home.

When he shows up on my sons phone it's just his account with the pic. Not online notifications.

When I was saying he was on my sons phone, I meant more the picture was still on.

keep your head up. You’re not the one who should be feeling like shit.

Could it be the opposite to what you’re thinking? So he’s not blocking you for YOU to sop seeing what he’s up to, he’s blocking you so that SOMEONE ELSE has no chance of seeing your name and messages pop up or appearing in his WhatsApp stream? If he works away a lot, is he living a bit of a double life that means she know about his kids but wouldn’t think you are together? So any chance of you WhatsApping is a problem?

A while back I had two phones with different numbers, waiting for the phone company to swap my old number to my new SIM on my new phone. I was still using Whatsapp, but every time I moved from my old phone to my new one and vice versa I had to sign in again with the other phone number and I'd get a notification on the other phone that I couldn't receive any messages.

Do you think this is what's happening here? He has two phones (sims) and he's moving from the one you know about, to another one in the evening?

Yes. Something like that.

Hold fire OP. The only way you'll get to the truth is to do it when you can see that account, surely? I know your emotions must be all over the place but you'll need as much evidence as you can get to have the upper hand (& not be gaslit). When is he next home?

I know. Friday hopefully.

I'm just down today. I'll snap out of it soon.

Work is a nightmare at the minute. I'm homeschooling while working from home and now this.

I'm furious with him. But mainly scared.

Coffee and toast and crack on. Wallowing is not helping at all.

Would imessages still work if he was on a different SIM?

You said earlier that imessages were still sending as normal.

Hi, sorry you are feeling so crap.
I was one of those that have two WhatsApp accounts. I can use them at the same time as they have two separate numbers on my one phone without swapping sims. I have an app called Parallel Space installed which you can have duplicates of apps installed like WhatsApp. You just login onto the normal one with your normal number and login to the duplicate version with another number (mine was purchased through Vyke), once logged in you don't have to keep swapping as you don't logout. Private message me if you want me to help explain more. X

It will be hard to make it till Friday but you need to ask him to prove any denials and if he can't...

Also think about the consequences of knowing - what will it mean for your future? I'm so sorry you are suffering this op. Could you tell your work you are (non-CV) unwell and give the kids a break this week or does it all help to distract you?

Yes I thought that about iMessage.

But then I realised I did it quite soon after noticing he'd blocked me.

I may have to leave it a little longer. I also FaceTimed him. He kind of engineered an argument to get me off the phone.

It was about 5 mins after being blocked. I wanted to see if he would answer. He did but it lasted about 3 minutes and he got rid of me.

I need to try that again but give it sufficient time probably.

Sorry, no, when I iMessaged and rang, I was testing to see if his internet and phone were working okay. I hadn't thought of a second phone/number at that point.

I'd love to not work today.

Unfortunately I really need to. It's quite stressful at the minute so I'm hopeful that will just kick in and take my mind somewhere else!

Thankyou.

Oh bab! My ex was always weird with his phone, nothing untoward that he ever admitted to but why would you? Drove me mad and still thinking about it brings back the acidic throat and makes my stomach drop.
You mentioned previously jumping the gun when he was acting weird. Could I ask why?
I’d probably suggest not checking his phone, just unnecessary torture and gives him the green light to call you paranoid/psycho/obsessive etc. I’d be spending the next few days thinking up a few choice questions for him when he does come home. If none of the answers satisfy you then you need to know what you want to do to either move forward as a family unit or separately.

When you say he may come home what does that mean? Why wouldn't he come home. How far away is he?
I'm sorry you are going through this, I hope you get things sorted.
How is he in other ways? Is there any other ways of doing any fishing other than looking at whats app. Maybe think of casting the net wider. Sorry if this isn't helpful but there maybe other ways of finding out what's happening too.

Looks very suspicious imo. I would be using this time to Che k out other things before the weekend. Do you have 'find friends' or 'find my iphone' for him set up on your phone?
Access to bank accounts? Phone bills? Does he use other social media apps you can check. Facebook, Instagram etc.

When he's home can you take both your phones to bed with you, say you're not feeling well, give it half an hour and check.

Once you think he's switched sims, go down stairs and demand to see his phone. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

Hopefully you'll feel like an idiot and there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

He probably hides the sim in his wallet. When he’s asleep check for it, and everywhere else it could be hidden.

However, I agree, this is no way to live OP. I found my ex had a separate WhatsApp account and despite him gaslighting me I eventually found he was using it to meet women from a sex site. I forgave him but ultimately the trust had gone and anyway, I decided I couldn’t be with someone capable of such duplicity.