A little suspicious - any knowledgeable WhatsApp users around?

[Butteredtoastandcoffee]

Changed username for this.

I think DH might be blocking and unblocking me on WhatsApp.

He works away midweek. I noticed randomly a while ago that his profile pic on WhatsApp had changed to nothing. Before it had been a pic of us all.

Then noticed on sons phone a while later (he was showing me messages) it was a pic of the kids.

I didn't think much of it. Then I was whatsapping someone and his pic was of the kids on mine too. Basically thought I must have been mistaken and promptly forgot all about it. We very rarely WhatsApp each other, we mainly use iMessage but he uses WhatsApp with the kids and other family/friends. I use it for the kids and workmates mainly.

Fast forward to last night. Was on WhatsApp and saw the picture of the kids. He is quite high up on my chats list.

For some reason I screenshot it. Then this morning, went to WhatsApp my sister and the pic is back to nothing again. It's of the kids on my sons!

I WhatsApped a message and it's just got one tick and has for ages. But on a group kids chat we are on it went to two straight away for him when I messaged this morning.

This is just weird!

It can't be that he wants to hide his last online as he has that set so nobody sees that anyway. He wouldn't need to block me for that.

Any ideas as to why?

I know the right thing to do is ask. I don't really want to do that right now.

Oh Gosh. Am I going to have to wade through loads of willy profile pics looking for the right one??

@SortingItOut Thanks. What would you need to know to have a look?

Interestingly his mobile phone bill was a little bit more expensive last month. You really wouldn't notice the odd £5 here and there would you.

You don’t need to pay to search, but you do need to pay to see distances (which is useful).

It shows up as EPOCH in statements, but can also pay via text and phone bill and is undetectable via that method.

@Butteredtoastandcoffee
Location and age is probably enough plus his first name as you put in a username but also you can show your normal name which alot do.

The £5 charge by phone lasts 50 days so will be interesting to see in 2 - 3 months his bill is slightly more again.

If he wants to be a gold member then it's less days (32) if paying by text

@SortingItOut did you say to message you on the website and not the app? It's bizarre that he would use his own name - quite risky.

Do people use profile pictures?

@Butteredtoastandcoffee
A lot of people do but some dont, some have a legitimate reason for not having a profile photo.

If you message on here then you need to message via the mumsnet website address that you put into your search bar rather than the mumsnet app because messaging on the app doesn't work.

I totally get why you need the evidence. Just one word of caution, when you have it, it's never quite as clear cut as you think in your head.

Do you know where he goes? I would engage a PI for this. Next time he's away, have him followed and see what happens.

I did this for my best friend after she was tying herself in knots over her dp. We found the PI together and she paid for it. It was bloody expensive though. She did find out that he was going to another woman's flat. He had basically been having a relationship with her for years (!). I'm not saying that will be the case with your dp. He could just be having conversations with people when he's not in your home. But i do think you deserve to know.

If you can't afford a PI, could you get a friend to follow him and see where he goes?

100% what @0DETTE said

Every single woman has found out later that there was much much more.

I am one of them. He wouldn’t be blocking you, checking if you look at his phone if he weren’t up to no good.

The leaving his phone around is telling me he has been doing it a while and has it all engineered. I wouldn’t confront him. He would and probably say you are paranoid.

Bank accounts if you can should tell you a lot. He can’t delete things on there.

OP, just one thing that I feel I need to point out even though I’m sure you have considered. This amount of digging and investigation, whether you get further proof or not, is likely to irreparably damage your relationship with your DH. I think it will be very hard for you to come back from this. Are you prepared for that?

This sounds exhausting I’m not tech savvy and would never be able to follow a trail like this.

Hi,

just to let you know. if you can get ahold of his phone you can go onto your laptop and connect whatsapp web. youll then be able to see his messages even when hes not around.

Thing is, in the current climate is a PI or tracker likely to reveal anything? I think he's doing stuff online.

Does he know you use mumsnet?

Could he have been reading this thread?

If you think he's doing stuff online then a PI would be an expensive waste of time

@RoxanneMonke I second what PP said about a PI. Or a tracker on his car.

Hang on a minute! Recently there was a thread on here where some poor woman discovered evidence that her husband had put a tracker on her car after suspecting she was cheating. Quite rightly, we were all up in arms over it. Lots of us correctly guessed he was abusive and suggested OP leave him. Some even suggested calling Police and having him spoken to for stalking.
Yet here we have the reverse of the situation and suddenly a tracker is being suggested to be placed on his car?!?! Would you be saying this if OP was the husband? I highly doubt it based on the previous thread I mentioned above is anything to go by!

Is there any chance you’re both as suspicious of each other and he’s trying to see when you’re online without you seeing he is?

@HavenDilemma don’t waste your breath.
All double standards and encouraging to continue digging.
Be interesting to repost this question flipped and see what the responses are.