A little suspicious - any knowledgeable WhatsApp users around?

[Butteredtoastandcoffee]

Changed username for this.

I think DH might be blocking and unblocking me on WhatsApp.

He works away midweek. I noticed randomly a while ago that his profile pic on WhatsApp had changed to nothing. Before it had been a pic of us all.

Then noticed on sons phone a while later (he was showing me messages) it was a pic of the kids.

I didn't think much of it. Then I was whatsapping someone and his pic was of the kids on mine too. Basically thought I must have been mistaken and promptly forgot all about it. We very rarely WhatsApp each other, we mainly use iMessage but he uses WhatsApp with the kids and other family/friends. I use it for the kids and workmates mainly.

Fast forward to last night. Was on WhatsApp and saw the picture of the kids. He is quite high up on my chats list.

For some reason I screenshot it. Then this morning, went to WhatsApp my sister and the pic is back to nothing again. It's of the kids on my sons!

I WhatsApped a message and it's just got one tick and has for ages. But on a group kids chat we are on it went to two straight away for him when I messaged this morning.

This is just weird!

It can't be that he wants to hide his last online as he has that set so nobody sees that anyway. He wouldn't need to block me for that.

Any ideas as to why?

I know the right thing to do is ask. I don't really want to do that right now.

To be honest, I'm tempted to ask him.

I'm not finding anything on his phone and I only get to it on a weekend.

If anything, whatever he is hiding is likely to be down there so I may well be on a hiding to nothing.

I really don't want to blow my cover but not sure how much longer I can act naturally

Going to try and distract myself with Killing Eve and Gin

I'd be confronting him personally. I so admire your restraint in keeping it together for so long.

Have you decided what you want to do if it's the worst outcome? What if it's just online stuff? Do you know your position for all possible outcomes?

Have a look at his app subscriptions/purchases. It shows them even if he’s deleted them. App Store - click on for right icon (mine has a pic of me) - purchased or subscriptions. It’ll show a lot. You might glean something from that. Also check his email account trash & spam. Search his emails by putting ‘sex’ into the search bar. Or ‘girls’.

My god reading this actually confirms suspicions about an ex of mine I never proved by the block/unblock and moreover the broken threads on iMessage really make sense now.

Great idea re: App Store. Will do that

If it's the worst outcome I will be leaving.

I hated reading this because I feel like you're going to be stuck in this awful place of being suspicious but not being able to prove anything for a long time I was in a similar position with my ex and it was 6 months before I had actual evidence, and that was only because I found he had connected to a hotels WiFi when he was meant to be working away. I really hope you either find evidence soon or trust your gut and end it x

Also whenever you’ve done something on his phone, don’t forget to double click home button and delete the pages/apps you’ve searched.

Shit. He's onto me. I didn't know about the double home button and delete thing.

After I'd looked at his phone on Sunday I saw that he went straight to settings. I wondered why, he must have double clicked.

Bollocks

When Im on his phone does his Apple Watch notify him?

Settings was the last thing I was on.

Could be a coincidence. But if not, what it presents him with now is the dilemma of whether to carry on blocking you, brazen it out and hope you won't notice he's online late at night, or stop using WhatsApp at all for a bit and hope it blows over. All of which still indicate something he wants to hide from you.

If he asks if you've looked at his phone, I would say 'why would you think I would do that?' And take the line that if he's worried about you doing that, what's he trying to hide?

Definitely no coincidence. I think he's leaving his phone around then checking to see if I've looked.

I haven't been blocked for a week now.

Might be a silly question and haven't read the whole thread just half way through but...

You say you've seen on his chat history that he had blocked and unblocked you so why aren't you confronting him. There is no more evidence that you can see and that's proof he's doing it so why don't you ask him?

If he asks you if you’ve looked at his phone be honest and tell him why.
I think it’s time for a conversation, if you keep digging to find something and he calls you out on it it’ll put you on the defence and you could come out looking worse than him.

@silverliningclouds I don’t understand it either.
If she never finds anything else will she just forget about it or will it niggle there forever eroding trust and love between them.
I personally would approach it from the angle of my insecurity that I am blocked

You're going to have to confront him x

This doesn't sound good to me OP

@Butteredtoastandcoffee

🌷it's utterly shit x

You really have to ask yourself, do you still even want to be with him? You said the relationship wasn't great (even without this). You don't need proof he's up to no good.

Try to take care of yourself

I’ve been on MN for many years and saipdly I’ve read hundreds on threads like these. And not one single man has ever confessed to everything when confronted. Not one.

Most deny everything and go on the attack “ you’re crazy “.

Some, confronted with irrefutable proof, will admit to the smallest thing they can get away with.

It was just a date, we only kissed.
Well we had sex but only once and it was meaningless.

Every single woman has found out later that there was much much more.

Maybe you will be the one to break this pattern OP. But I’m sorry to say that I doubt it.

My advice is still not to confront unless you have proof. He knows you are onto him and he’s had plenty time to think of a cover story.

You could always double bluff, and say you’ve found out he’s been unfaithful. Say you got sent a message telling you for example.

Or make up a story about a ‘friend’ who just caught her OH cheating - his reaction may tell you something.

Have you checked his washbag? Pockets of clothes? Receipts?

He’s aware enough to realise that you’ve been on his phone
He’s aware enough to delete call logs as much as he goes to the bother of blocking you.