A little suspicious - any knowledgeable WhatsApp users around?

[Butteredtoastandcoffee]

Changed username for this.

I think DH might be blocking and unblocking me on WhatsApp.

He works away midweek. I noticed randomly a while ago that his profile pic on WhatsApp had changed to nothing. Before it had been a pic of us all.

Then noticed on sons phone a while later (he was showing me messages) it was a pic of the kids.

I didn't think much of it. Then I was whatsapping someone and his pic was of the kids on mine too. Basically thought I must have been mistaken and promptly forgot all about it. We very rarely WhatsApp each other, we mainly use iMessage but he uses WhatsApp with the kids and other family/friends. I use it for the kids and workmates mainly.

Fast forward to last night. Was on WhatsApp and saw the picture of the kids. He is quite high up on my chats list.

For some reason I screenshot it. Then this morning, went to WhatsApp my sister and the pic is back to nothing again. It's of the kids on my sons!

I WhatsApped a message and it's just got one tick and has for ages. But on a group kids chat we are on it went to two straight away for him when I messaged this morning.

This is just weird!

It can't be that he wants to hide his last online as he has that set so nobody sees that anyway. He wouldn't need to block me for that.

Any ideas as to why?

I know the right thing to do is ask. I don't really want to do that right now.

If he had a brain then he would just have removed his profile pic from whatsapp, then it wouldn't be so obvious when you were blocked.

The blocking and unblocking is enough evidence and proof. The only possible explanation I could come up with is that he's chatting with another woman. If he has another reason then tell him you're happy to hear it out. Genuinely can't think of one other possible reason apart from the fact that he doesn't want you to see that he's online!

Gather evidence at moment Op

Try and keep your cool

Can you checked the blocked list in WhatsApp? Surely he would be alternating between you and whoever else if that's the point of it?

The trouble is with this, is the icon for being on Whatsapp Web shows up on the person's phone, logged into Whatsapp Web. I use Whatsapp Web for work sometimes and the icon shows up on my phone when I'm using it. So it is quite obvious and not undetectable at all.

It doesn't on mine? I've never noticed it even though I always have whatsapp web on my laptop and had a look again and can't see any icon on my phone.

I've

At this point I would stop investigating the WhatsApp issues and look elsewhere for evidence.

Nobody else in blocked list

@Butteredtoastandcoffee, how are you doing ? It must have been a very long and draining week. How are things with him now that he is home ?

On iphones it keeps a record of all websites even if internet history is deleted.

Settings...safari...advanced....website data

Lists all sites and amount of data usuage. Id put money on he hasnt deleted this.

On iPhone search, pull down on the main screen and search two 'xx's (kisses) for example. I did this and found numerous deleted messages from prostitutes, he had obviously visited/ wanted to book. All familiar terms so ann ongoing habit. The number were stored in his phone as known friends madness/Family/work suppliers (Beggars belief really) granted the whole message want displayed but it was enough to figure out what was going on. Good luck OP

Yes I'd look for blocked numbers on his phone contacts

If he has a regular place he stays it’s possible he has another device there.

He could also be blocking you when he is with someone else either face to face or whilst he’s talking to them on another app like Skype, Zoom etc so that you don’t call or message whilst he’s otherwise engaged.

I agree with other PP’s though, he’s clearly up to no good as there’s no legitimate reason to block you.

Could he be blocking you to stop you seeing those stories on WhatsApp? I've never done one and don't know who would. But then again, he'd not want his kids to see?

I cannot come up with a single reason why any person would go to this effort

Definitely don't say anything to him yet! As already said, he will deny and make excuses. You need to find out what's going on yourself first.

OP @Willyoujustbequiet is right, you should search his website data. Even if he deletes his search history, you can still view the websites he has visited via the website data.

Hope you're doing okay

Maybe he’s just watching porn, masturbating feeling guilty and doesn’t want your name popping up while he’s doing it.

I don’t understand how everyone is so certain he is cheating based on one thing, that is technology based.
And encouraging to check his phone, I’m pretty sure this is a violation of privacy and actually covered in the domestic abuse laws.

If it turns out he’s cheating and you find out by playing investigator the only satisfaction will be the ‘I’m right’ it won’t change that he cheated. You can do nothing to stop it, prevent it and eventually I’m sure it would come out. Sometimes paranoia and accusations push the not cheating partner to cheat anyway.
The way I see it is if you are not happy don’t try and find this as justification to leave, just leave him on the basis you are no longer happy, do not waste energy on something you could not change.

What do you plan to do with the information? Leave him? If you find he isn’t cheating would this make you happier and want to stay with him?

Ask him out right without needing to collate the evidence but promise yourself you will take action.
Tell him that you have being missing him and you tried to WhatsApp him but you realised you were blocked and it hurt your feelings and you’d like to understand why he is blocking you, if his response doesn’t satisfy your curiosity or you don’t trust him then ultimately you have to decide to stay or go. No tiptoeing just be blunt and honest about your feelings.

If he admits it then again you need to make a choice of dealing with it and resolving to make things better and forgiving him or leaving.

If you don’t want to confront him then choose to trust him and stop trying to catch him out

He could be FaceTiming on WhatsApp and blocks so you can’t see him online. Then unblocks when the call is over. Deletes all chat history etc. I hope you are ok OP.

Bloody odd behaviour. I can't think of any rational reason for the constant blocking/unblocking.

Hope you’re ok OP. Your head must be wrecked with it all xx

I couldn’t hold it it,I would be straight asking why the fuck are you blocking me!

I was thinking more along the lines of the live WhatsApp Web cam type things that you can get on porn sites (previous partner has told me about this!!) you go on a WhatsApp call with different girls and pay to see them do stuff?
Like a step up from watching normal porn, not cheating but def not something you want your wife to know that you do?

you go on a WhatsApp call with different girls and pay to see them do stuff?Like a step up from watching normal porn, not cheating but def not something you want your wife to know that you do?

That would definitely be my idea of cheating.

And I’m sure most men would think it was cheating if their wives did it.

Right.

Got hold of the phone at various times but it showed nothing!

Checked websites, nothing of note, battery, nothing of note, no blocked contacts, no recently deleted photos, but very clearly me being blocked and then unblocked!

I haven't said anything but it's hard. I'm tempted to ask him as my searching has revealed nothing.

I wanted to have more of a look on iPhone search and also FB than I managed to

There are no WhatsApp calls for a good 5 days or so which I just don't buy to be honest. They start again after I was unblocked!