Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Meeting someone at 48

181 replies

Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 08/05/2020 20:30

Is it too late?

I don't think so but perhaps others think otherwise?

Am due to start a new job soon with plenty of potential to meet someone - moving to new area.

I still want a nice home and good lifestyle but at this age, broke and starting at the bottom again, today I am starting to wonder if its a dream rather than a realistic goal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 18:06

That looks great @LondonJax

I've already spotted something I'd like to do (chocolate lockin!)

OP posts:
LondonJax · 09/05/2020 18:10

It's a shame that coronavirus has shut down a lot of things. There are a few videos I've just seen at the bottom of the main page on their website which will give you a flavour.

I was introduced to them by a lady I used to work with. She asked if I could put some posters up and, as I was not long divorced, I was asking about it. She'd recently been on a theatre then meal event, the Christmas Ball (they were really lovely) and...driving an army truck around a field blindfolded! Never tried that one thankfully....

Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 18:22

It's a great idea - and seems safer in many ways as you get to see how someone interacts in a crowd/what others think.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 19:27

Result!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 20:08

Nop - spoke too soon Grin

OP posts:
occa · 10/05/2020 02:10

I'm the same age as you OP and trying to decide if I actually want to meet someone for a relationship or not!

What I'd love is to make some male friends to chat to online, but it seems almost impossible without the dating element.

I dunno why it's so hard, surely there must be plenty of lonely men around the world who'd just like someone to chat to sometimes without the expectation of meeting up, necessarily.

Anyway, good for you OP for jumping into OLD. Hope you find someone lovely!

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 10/05/2020 17:48

What I'd love is to make some male friends to chat to online, but it seems almost impossible without the dating element.

Believe it or not, single men need a friend as much as women do. In my first profile in OLD, I mentioned that as newly divorced person I was finding myself with too much time in my hands as my friends were busy with their families and DS spending weekends with his dad, I said that if anyone felt like me, had similar interests and would like to meet for a coffee as friends (no benefits) and see where things could go, to get in touch. I was favourited by 30 people over night, talked to quite a few met about 7 people. Every man that contacted me was lovely, I met my boyfriend after a couple of months and kept of the others as friends, some of them and their kids are now like family so many years later.

That was in my late thirties, finding myself on my own at 48 was more challenging but again, if you are friendly and respectful, people are the same in return. This last time it took almost 8 months (And 24 coffees!) to find my partner but the same principle applied, met some very nice people, a couple of them I’m still in touch with as friends (and two people I cut off straight away) before I met, hopefully, my last partner.

howsicklyarsekissy · 10/05/2020 17:51

Use the mumsnet OLD thread it's helped me so much & really gives you good advice/guild lines

serenada · 10/05/2020 18:45

@TheMotherofAllDilemmas

I am very much going in with that approach. I have written on another thread how I am actually immobile anyway atm due to injury (prior to lockdown!) and am very much just thinking in my mind about getting used to chatting with men again.

I've sent 5 a message saying hi!
I've chatted briefly to one who disappeared mid conversation
I've been liked by one and liked him back and said hi in a message (no reply)

I 'm just going to keep a measured tone and go at a slow pace.

It's got me thinking about what I'm missing and I think that's a good thing. also. I really enjoy male company and miss it.

famousforwrongreason · 11/05/2020 11:06

Ugh I went on a couple of sites last night, one site had three men in my area and age range, the other had lots more but some of them are people who were there two years ago when I was last on, exactly same profiles as before (although I'm on again so I guess that's not a great comparison).
Some of them look like mug shots, can't string a sentence together, some look so old, unkempt or super laddish.
Several lying about their age, even more using filters and looking weird as fuck.
Many in hi viz or generally at work.
It's awful awful awful.
Saw my ex on there, the one who wrote to me only this weekend to say how he's still heartbroken etc, his post uses words like 'sensual' EnvyHmm so at least this time he's being more honest but it also makes me wonder if he ever came off the sites.
Anyhoo, he's past and old for me atm is a no-go.
Just... No.

Sickandscared · 11/05/2020 11:31

Definitely not too late. My mum met her partner when she was mid 50s, he approached her in a restaurant to tell her how beautiful her hair was.

My DPs exW was 48 when they split up, she signed up for Tinder a year later and met her partner within a few months.

themachinist · 11/05/2020 11:33

I met me partner at 48... love of my life. Absolutely. Best match I've ever had... go for it!

serenada · 11/05/2020 19:42

Well, I am quite disappointed - I have said hi to quite a few now and they are not replying.

Perhaps my au naturel look isn't everyone's taste Grin

Daftapath · 11/05/2020 20:08

@serenada did you literally only say 'hi'?

I have read that it is better to actually say something/ask a question. I have tried to pick up on something in their photos or what they have said and make a joke of it. I figure that if they can't make a joke or be amusing in return then they wouldn't be my type!

I also haven't replied to any who have only sent a 'hello' or 'hi' as I feel they should make more of an effort! Grin

famousforwrongreason · 11/05/2020 21:47

Perhaps my au naturel look isn't everyone's taste
@serenada then they are not the people for you.
I'm pretty natural by todays standards, I'm a bit of a hippy but can scrub up well if needed. I don't subscribe to the grooming levels many women see as normal now but I have to present as myself otherwise I'm only going to attract people who aren't right for me

serenada · 11/05/2020 21:49

Perhaps that's where I've gone wrong! Grin

Yep, all I did was say 'Hi!'

I can't understand the one who was mid conversation with me who just disappeared but has been online all the time. He asked me a question to which I replied and the nothing? Very bad manners!

serenada · 11/05/2020 21:50

Perhaps my au naturel look isn't everyone's taste
@serenada then they are not the people for you.
I'm pretty natural by todays standards, I'm a bit of a hippy but can scrub up well if needed. I don't subscribe to the grooming levels many women see as normal now but I have to present as myself otherwise I'm only going to attract people who aren't right for me

Exactly @famousforwrongreason I can scrub up too (quite nicely to everyone's surprise and I didn't think the pics were too bad - no makeup but my hair was brushed!!!!

BitOfFun · 11/05/2020 21:50

Definitely say more than "Hi"! Most people wouldnt reply to that.

Add a comment on something he's interested in on his profile or something.

serenada · 11/05/2020 22:16

Well, what do I do now? Go back to the ones I 've said hi to and send another message?

BitOfFun · 11/05/2020 22:41

Nah, those ships have sailed, I should think. Maybe if they're still there in a couple of months. Try some new ones.

Daftapath · 11/05/2020 22:49

I asked a bloke with a flat cap whether he had a whippet to go with it! Grin

He was really young so I wasn't interested, it was to amuse really. He did reply!

serenada · 11/05/2020 22:54

Well, one did put a film reference in his profile (which I got) so I sent him a message with another (famous) quote from the film. He replied and then introduced himself, asked me what I was doing, I replied and then nothing - no response.

This is going to be hard work. I can feel it.

serenada · 11/05/2020 22:55

Plus, if someone 'likes' you, you then like them back and say 'hi' surely then they would respond? Or is this going to be like college all over again. Confused

Daftapath · 11/05/2020 23:28

I might respond but I would only say 'hi' back! It's not much of an opener is it?

Likewise if I respond to something, I would try to finish with a question back. Other wise it becomes hard work to think of openers all the time.

OhioOhioOhio · 11/05/2020 23:32

This is a great thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread