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Original poster

Meeting someone at 48

181 replies

Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 08/05/2020 20:30

Is it too late?

I don't think so but perhaps others think otherwise?

Am due to start a new job soon with plenty of potential to meet someone - moving to new area.

I still want a nice home and good lifestyle but at this age, broke and starting at the bottom again, today I am starting to wonder if its a dream rather than a realistic goal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 01:36

Bedazzled might be a bit miss leading. I think he was just a very different person to me and no harm was done - I didn't dislike him as a person when we met but I just knew he wasn't boyfriend material for me. Then I thought perhaps I need to be a bit more challenged than usual and then as soon as anything happened I knew it wasn't right for me. I am quite traditional in many ways.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 01:36

@diege yes, I was at a friends wedding last year and they met on GS.

OP posts:
Whyareyouallcallingmemum · 09/05/2020 01:37

He's 33...so 17yrs

Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 01:39

@Whyareyoucalling

Go girl! Inspiration to us all!

OP posts:
DuchessOfBeddington · 09/05/2020 01:41

No such thing as too late.

My father remarried in his 70’s to a woman in her 60’s and they are so so happy together.

avamiah · 09/05/2020 01:43

@Whyareyoucalling,
Love it .
Does he have any friends ( single)
Lol

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 09/05/2020 01:50

Not too late, I did at that age, but I would lying if I said it was easy: it mostly depends on luck but you also need to be realistic, put a good level of effort and acquire the skin of a rhino to find the one you want.

Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 01:54

It does sound like a lot of hard work. Perhaps I should just get a cat Grin

OP posts:
Whyareyouallcallingmemum · 09/05/2020 01:54

Ha ha yeah he has friends.

I was pretty nervous and not really believing him when he liked me ....I have 5 kids at home, teens....and they don't see their father.

But after alot of ifs and buts and ups and downs, we managed to make it work.

Whyareyouallcallingmemum · 09/05/2020 01:55

No I have 2 cats too...no compensation...😝

Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 01:58

Blimey @Why - you've got a lot going on!

OP posts:
Dotty02 · 09/05/2020 02:05

Grin sorry OP I'm being mean.

DeeCeeCherry · 09/05/2020 02:14

I met my lovely DP when I was 50. I'm 57 now we're still really happy together. Which is amazing to me after some really shit relationships in the past but goes to show it's never too late. & I was definitely of the mind that it was unlikely I'd meet anyone so I'd stopped thinking about it.

We didn't meet on OLD - I was having time out after latest shit relationship, just some self-care looking after myself + doing things that made me happy. Including going out socialising. I met DP on an evening out 3 years later. Whatever route you choose to meet, good luck. Someone's out there.

Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 02:17

Thanks @DeeCeeCherry that's really lovely to hear x

OP posts:
Whyareyouallcallingmemum · 09/05/2020 02:42

@Lazing yeah I seem to. But it's all manageable.
The main problem I had in the beginning was the time I wanted to out into it...or lack of. But after maybe a year I decided that I did want this and have made time and the kids know that's what I'm doing.

Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 02:50

I can imagine with children it must be so difficult. How do they get on with him? Does he see himself as their stepdad?

OP posts:
Whyareyouallcallingmemum · 09/05/2020 03:38

We don't live together.
He does not consider himself their stepdad no, but he has told a couple of them off though a couple of time for speaking to me in a certain way or taking the piss.
He can see manipulation for eg more clearly than me cause I'm living it especially.. from teen girls. He's good with them and they with him, but like I said we don't live together and I don't see how that can happen just yet.
Would be easier if they were all 3 and had no opinions. 😄

Chocolate123 · 09/05/2020 08:57

Never too old I met my partner on bumble 2 years ago I was 46.

minmooch · 09/05/2020 10:28

Never too old. Did online dating for a couple of years, met some nice people, interesting people, players - the lot! Gave up because I couldn't really be bothered anymore. Then went and met my now dp when I was 49 at my local pub. 3 years on living together, very happy - he's the one for me and me for him.

Know who you are, know your boundaries, set your bar high, don't accept bullshit or learn to recognise it early. No need to settle for anyone that does not add to your life.

Gutterton · 09/05/2020 11:11

Know who you are, know your boundaries, set your bar high, don't accept bullshit or learn to recognise it early. No need to settle for anyone that does not add to your life.

Agree with this. Also if you have been concentrating on your career and have not had DCs - you might well be in a much more “attractive” financial position than many women and there are some dodgy men who may well be profiling and targeting you so watch out for the love bombers, future fakers, etc keep your cards close to your chest.

Wonder if you would be comfortable being up front (discreetly) with friends and family to mine all of their contacts?

Also as other have said the dating thread on here helps. Friends of mine who have been successful have approached it like a job, screening 2 people a week - meeting only first couple of times for coffee so can escape quickly if the chemistry is off.....

Jojobar · 09/05/2020 12:18

For every person who says set your boundaries too high, someone will tell you not to be too fussy.

There's no magic formula sadly. A massive amount of luck is involved, however proactive you are.

kennypppppppp · 09/05/2020 12:37

I met my now husband when i was 46, so that's nearly 48?!?! good luck with it all and I hope it all goes well for you and as amy schumer said, if someone sends you a dick pic then you just send them another one back. (wish i'd have thought of this when i was online dating).

a woman i saw in the hairdressers had just joined tinder and she was in her 70s.

Patch23042 · 09/05/2020 12:40

I think it’s easier than at 28, when lots of people are “taken”, settled, and still on first marriages.

At 48, you have the cohort that is looking for a second marriage.

I know quite a few widows and widowers who met someone at 70ish too.

So I’d say 48 is a very good age.

One note of caution from me - childless men in their 30s and early 40s sometimes say they’re ok with never having kids, only to change their minds a year or two later. But that’s just a small point!

Daftapath · 09/05/2020 12:51

I have just signed up and I am 5 years older than you - following an expensive divorce and with two teens.

I decided that actually lockdown was a pretty good time to do it as no chance of having to meet someone face to face, the thought of which petrifies me! It's also quite lonely being the only adult in the house for weeks on end.

Within the first couple of days, I had had a few interesting interactions which I can now laugh about and taught me a lot about what I want and that I need boundaries on there. I am now chatting to a couple of guys daily who are funny and seem good people - as far as you can tell after two weeks anyway. I have even started to talk to one on the phone and I am kind of wishing I could meet him in real life!

I say go for it and see what happens!

Original poster
Lazingonasunnyafternoon20 · 09/05/2020 14:43

@Patch23042

One note of caution from me - childless men in their 30s and early 40s sometimes say they’re ok with never having kids, only to change their minds a year or two later. But that’s just a small point!

That is a good point. I'm hoping that my age would indicate that its no longer possible.

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