Meeting someone at 48

[Lazingonasunnyafternoon20]

Is it too late?

I don't think so but perhaps others think otherwise?

Am due to start a new job soon with plenty of potential to meet someone - moving to new area.

I still want a nice home and good lifestyle but at this age, broke and starting at the bottom again, today I am starting to wonder if its a dream rather than a realistic goal.

Oh dear! I put my picture up last night and have since had some views but that's it. Perhaps I 'm an ogre?

I think I am going to be single soon as DH keeps threatening to leave. I'm scared of OLD because a) I am not photogenic at all although in person apparently I am a bit of a looker and b) I don't have a high paying job as I work p/t after being a SAHM but I would be financially fine if I end up alone as will take DH to the cleaners.

One of the things making me sad is that if DH and I split, my dating prospect are dire. Do men care about women who don't have great jobs? My single, childless SIL in her 40's gets millions of dates.

SIL has relatively good job, own house and no baggage.

No, you are not an ogre

It is not as simple as putting the photo up and waiting for people to contact you. Unless you look like a super model you need to put some work into it, first by ensuring your profile makes you look friendly and approachable (

What does your SIL do?

You also might find that once you leave your DH you are more interested in getting a career on track for yourself and will meet someone that way, no?

I think I'm going to treat OLD as a refresher course - see what 's out there and what I need to brush up on - clothes, hair, general presentation in my case.

@TheMotherofAllDilemmas

Voice of experience?!

Thanks for the advice - I will take it up.

SIL is an accountant and is on a lot of dating websites. She seems to attract a lot of older divorced men with DC who like her more than she likes them.

Do men care about women who don't have great jobs?

They do, but everyone needs to find a common ground/point of connection. I was contacted repeatedly by a very affluent guy who seemed nice, I never accepted a date invitation from him as I could see he used to spend a lot of time in cocktail parties and I couldn’t imagine being able to keep up to his lifestyle on my salary. I just kept thinking, what I would wear???

@ReinventingMe

On OLD men aren't going to know your financial status are they?
I have put down that I am broke. I also imagine that some men will underplay their financial status as they will be wary of golddiggers?

Voice of experience? Absolutely! I have had my good share of OLD and have found it a very positive experience.

Is there such a thing as a website to meet women? Not for a relationship, but to make friends, go out, go on holiday etc.

Sorry, not trying to hog your thread. Sometimes I just think we need company and friendship and not necessarily from a man.

If I could make a wish it would be to have a couple of sisters where we all get along well and go on holiday together or are on A Place in the Sun buying a bolt hole between us.

Noooo, don’t ever put that you are broke! People are not looking for someone to rescue or add to their own problems, concentrate on the positives!

I needed to add a to both my last post and I clicked post too quickly (sorry)

Yes, there are websites where you can meet other women for friendship and hobbies, check the Meet-up app.

My dad met his partner at 63. She was 68 at the time. In my country there was a couple on tv being interviewed on valentines day that met and married (quickly, because they didn't want to wait) at 78/80. It's never too late!

@ReinventingMe

Would second using meetup - pick a topic you are genuinely interested in OR set one up yourself (I''ll join!)

No! I did and it's proper great

At your age some men have figured out how life works and can't be bothered with women that just want a funder to ponce off while they laze about. Having said that a lot of men never learn how to think with anything other than their chode.

Met mine at 48. Plenty of time for you yet!

I met my DH through a place called SPICE (spiceuk.com). It was started about 40 years ago by a man who had just moved to another part of the country and wanted to have a go at some social events. He found out he could get discounts if he got a group together, but didn't know anyone, so advertised. He realised that there was a gap in the market for people moving around or who wanted to try different events with like minded people but didn't know someone to go with.

You pay a membership fee, then pay per event in your area. The social, pub, meet ups are always free to attend though and newbies are encouraged to meet existing members there before making their mind up to join.

The nice thing is that you meet people (potential partners but friends too) who like the same thing - if you go on a walking weekend you'll meet fellow walkers, if you go to a jazz and dinner evening you'll obviously find people who enjoy jazz! I went to events like a tapas evening, centreparcs weekend, chocolate making days, curry making, wine tasting, quizzes, theatre visits. My SIL joined her one in another part of the country on our recommendation and learned she was good at golf so now plays with a new group of friends she made 10 years ago!

Two of the people we met at SPICE became godparents to our DS when he was born, eight attended our wedding. We've been to two weddings, apart from ours, of people who met through SPICE and four other couples we know met there.

They're not a dating agency. They will categorically say they are not there for people to find a partner/husband/wife. They are there to allow new friendships to start, allow people new to areas to try stuff out. But, of course, as I've said, if you're constantly going to meals with them because you enjoy that sort of thing, you'll bump into some people a lot of the time. Sometimes that can open a relationship or, at the worst, you make a friend who invites you to their NYE party or whatever and meet more people. It just opens doors without the feeling of having to try too hard.

@Londonjax

I like that idea - takes the pressure and cringe factor off. Then people are actually more likely to pair up esp if it's linked to hobbies/interests.

well, I 've sent a message (to two different people) so we'll see what happens.

Not sure I'm cut out for this malarkey

@londonjax, do they have a website?

I enjoyed my time with the @Lazingonasunnyafternoon20. I also liked it because, like @ReinventingMe said, it was for friendship rather than meeting someone special.

The first person I met at SPICE was a woman who is now a very dear friend. She and I hit it off and she was very encouraging when I met DH! One woman I got talking to at a jazz and dinner meal turned out to be going to a CentreParcs weekend so we shared the drive up. We weren't quite sure what to expect but pulling into the car park a woman came running up to ask if we had any room in our cabin freezer for a bottle of vodka...sort of set the tone!

And DS's godfather has stayed friends with his ex-SPICE mates for 20 plus years (he met them abseiling...) His partner and he met through SPICE too. Just kept bumping into each other at events and he realised he was looking out for her each time so decided to ask her out and they've been together for 15 years now.

@TheMotherofAllDilemmas - it's www.spiceuk.com.

I don't know prices now as we stopped going when DS was born. Some people who are married/in relationships keep going as they're there for the events but once DS was born and we moved into the country it became harder to go.

They used to have a forum on the website so you could ask questions. But DS is now 13 years old so it's a long time ago!