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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ending an affair before it starts

335 replies

notabadperson · 16/09/2007 23:11

Please, I don't need judging here, i really need constructive help. I know all the "right answers". I have become very close to someone else who is also married. We both really love our partners and know our relationship has nowhere to go. We both know the answer is to make the break and focus on our marriages, but am finding it so painful. Anyone else been through this and able to advise how they got through it??

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NotDoingTheHousework · 05/03/2008 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

notabadperson · 05/03/2008 20:33

Hi, thanks for not doing your housework and asking how things are! Struggling a bit to be honest. No desire to end my marriage, no problems in the marriage to solve, honestly, but finding it hard to deal with feelings about OM. Have to come back to this thread every now and then to remind myself that I need to keep away from him, which I am doing apart from the odd text. But can't change my feelings. Just keep wondering how long it will take to get over it.

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mummybrains · 06/03/2008 09:58

NABP - I wanted to share with you how sorry I am for your situation - and offer you some support. I've got myself into a real state recently over my OM and the advice (and stern criticism) I received on here serves as a reminder how much pain and suffering this kind of thing causes. (To all parties - innocent and otherwise). I cannot imagine you want to go there..
The hardest thing to do is pick yourself up - and refocus your priorities. I haven't got there yet either and I wonder if we almost make ourselves continue to feel sad because it helps us cling on to the other person and to the situation that deep down we do not want to give up on. If we let go, only then can we regain some peace and happiness.
Sending you courage. You are not alone xx

notabadperson · 06/03/2008 13:54

mummybrains, thanks for your support. I feel for you too. Everything you write is so on the mark. I know what I have to do, I am trying to do it, just finding it hard so have to pop back here every now and then to keep me on the straight and narrow. I think I'd probably find it easier to end if I was having an affair, tho I guess it depends how you define "affair". Emotionally, I probably am.

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mummybrains · 06/03/2008 15:51

For what it's worth - I didn't even know there was such a thing as 'an emotional affair' until a couple of months ago - and I'm 39 and have lived a bit! I have also stopped trying to define 'affair' as it means such different things to people. I always thought I could handle the sex side of my illicit relationship if I wasn't emotionally involved - but I think in the end (from what I have read recently) one party always seems to end up in love and totally crushed.
In your case - you seem to be there already -I can't imagine that it could be much worse for you if you were having a full-on affair. Some people on here have said you just need to have sex with the OM to get this sort of thing out of your system - and then you can move on - in my case this did not work. I can totally understand how you feel, you sound a bit like me - and reading about other people's experiences on here is definitely helping me keep stronger.
It's wonderful to desire and be desired - it's all consuming to the point of madness. It does pass. It has to. Keep strong!

unfaithfull · 14/03/2008 23:30

notabadperson - i agree that you are not a bad person - i know how awfull your situation is as i have found myself in a similar situation

i would feel pretty upset and let down if i found out my DP was having an "emotional" affair probably i would feel that was worse than a physical one.But you didn't ask to be in this situation, you didn't seek it out, these things just happen - you are doing everything in your power to stop anything developing.

i admire your resolve.

Utka · 20/03/2008 17:28

NABP
As someone whose DH had an 'emotional' affair last year, can I please encourage you to remain strong? I read the original post when you first wrote last year, and thought how courageous you were then.

I happen to think that any relationship outside the marriage which threatens to cause the unknowing (or knowing) partner pain, is an affair. But this is not the point. You made a decision last year and have been working hard to maintain that decision. You need to assess whether that decision was a right one.

Have you thought about counselling to help you work through your feelings about the OM? (I'm sorry i cannot remember if you mentioned having tried this option). It strikes me that the feelings may keep on recurring until you've had a chance to understand what the relationship offered you and what it truly meant to you. Only then will you be able to judge whether what you have is what you really want.

In my case, DH's admission about the affair made me assess what I want from my marriage (to stay with DH) and we have been working things through at Relate. I still don't know if we will stay together but we stand a better chance now that we are trying to do something about it.

Something I have come to realise though, is that despite wishing this hadn't happened, I have to accept the affair has happened and I have to assess my marriage on that basis. Might your DH not have the right to sit down with you and look at your relationship together? He's got choices too. At the moment, he's only getting part of the real you, I suspect.

Hope this isn't too emotive. I can really understand how hard it must be to sustain a decision like this.

HappyWoman · 20/03/2008 17:59

That is good advice

Ilike the fact that you acknowledge your marriage may not last but that you are grateful you have a least had the chance to make that choice. I am in a similar position and feel so much better knowing that we are at least doing something about the affair that was real and did happen.

Do keep strong.

notabadperson · 22/03/2008 20:49

Thanks to all. Have not seen OM for 6 months. Minimal text contact. Breaking my heart, but know I want to stay married to Dh as OM does to his DW. I guess there are 2 reasons I post on here: 1) I need people to help me stay strong 2) Lots of women on the receiving end of affairs post on here. I just want them to know that the OW aren't necessarily evil and that their DPs aren't necessarily evil... sometimes it just happens and all involved try to walk away from it, no matter how hard that might be.

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horsish · 22/03/2008 21:05

nabp it is absurd to think that people who have affairs are automatically evil.

You are being very strong over this. I do hope things work out happily for you all

mummybrains · 22/03/2008 21:06

Keep posting nabp. I keep reading your thread and share your heartbreak. It's quite possible you will feel like this for a long time I'm sorry to say - it's not easy to pick yourself up and do the sensible/right when the feelings run so deep. Life is cruel and painful and tragic and unfair sometimes, but it is also short. The latter can be justification both for and against illicit relationships I know - but you are doing the right thing by staying away. You are amazingly strong.
I also get a lot from reading peoples posts on here - from DWs who have such sad and awful lives with their OHs who seem to be total and utter wankers. It makes me feel like I have it easy in comparison.
As an ex-OW - I feel for you.
Keep going honey! x

mummybrains · 22/03/2008 21:21

Forgot to say - I am actually having counselling now and it has taught me a lot already about why I cannot shake off my feelings. Revisiting it through counselling is another way of keeping it prioritised when one needs to let it go of course - but it has also helped me get some perspective on this bloke and on life in general. Have you considered talking it through with a professional?

HappyWoman · 25/03/2008 07:56

As the wife I never thought the ow was evil - i think she did some unforgivable things and especially once i had found out. I have never bveen under the illusion that we will not have feelings for anyone else and that is why i found it so hard to accept my h affair as i had always been very honest if i ever found anyone else attractive. And i thought he would do the same. In some ways it is quite flattering to think someone else fancies your h anyway.

I think for me also i have learnt a lot about life in gernal and myself. I know more clearly where my boundaries are in many areas of life now.

NABP - are you able to tell your DH about how you feel at all? Your feelings are not wrong it is the actions you could choose that cause the damage.

I do hope you can get some closeure from this and continue with a lovely life with your family.

notabadperson · 02/05/2008 22:15

So... it's a year since "we" (I know.... there is no "we") realised we could be more than friends. Thought I was doing OK , but feeling like shit and wondering why I can't shake it off and put it all behind me. Don't feel you have to answer, I just needed to post.

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IdrisTheDragon · 02/05/2008 22:23

NABP, I posted near the beginning of this thread and I do know a bit of what you are experiencing.

For me, the "being more than friends" incident happened in July 2006 and it stopped in September that year.

It all still bothers me, some days more, some days less. It really bothered me at the anniversary of it happening ie last July. Not sure why an anniversary affected me so much, but it did.

I have been in touch with him a couple of times this year. At the moment I am not letting myself reply to his latest email - not sure why really, but the fact it bothers me is enough reason not to.

notabadperson · 02/05/2008 22:27

Idris, I really appreciate that post. I just find it so hard to explain. I love DH and we really do have a good marriage (have spent much of the last year wondering how I could if it was possible to have strong feelings for s.o. else). I also feel really bad cos OM going through exactly the same. We both know there's no future, we both want to be with our spouses, I just can't let go 100% and have no idea why.

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dreamymum · 02/05/2008 22:39

great to read this, nabp i am in the exact same situation as you. identical. i am keeping strong. reading this thread is making me think about how the only way to do this is by avoiding social situations where Om is present.

dreamymum · 02/05/2008 22:41

and i also find it amusing to see how typical this situation is, when i thought it was something so special. i guess its just something natural that happens, and we can choose to handle it one of two ways, both of which we know the consequences for...

SheWillBeLoved · 02/05/2008 22:43

You obviously love/loved him. And there will always be a part of you that wonders "what if..". Don't ever expect there to come a day when you won't wonder that, because the longer you expect yourself to wake up one day and magically forget him, the longer it will take to get even close to that.

You summed it up yourself in a post earlier on in the thread - "wrong place, wrong time, and someone who in a different life you could marry". I'm a big believer in soul mates, and i've never believed that we have just one otherwise we'd all be very lonely people. You just happen to have found another one after your DH.

What is it you are finding so hard to get over? The fact that you never got to be together? Or are you clinging on because you think he is too?

notabadperson · 02/05/2008 22:44

hey dreamymum! No, you're not alone. Once over, I would have hated women like us. But it isn't all about the women, it takes 2 to tango, and I am working as hard as I can to walk away. I have never, ever loved anyone like my DH and I can only assume that if I'd never met him, and OM had come along, then I might have had a future with him. It's not a selfish physical fling, it's a lot deeper and we're both trying to keep away from it. It's shit tho and wish I'd never ended up in this situation.

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notabadperson · 02/05/2008 22:48

SheWillBeLoved - we cross posted writing similar things. Thanks for understanding. I think what I'm finding it hardest to get over is that I don't want to be unfaithful to DH, I don't want to leave DH, I want to try to forget about OM, yet can't completely detach myself from him. I want him to be happy with his wife, I want me to be happy with DH, I want us both to forget abotu each other. I read tons of threads on here from women in the opposite situation and I feel awful.

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dreamymum · 02/05/2008 23:01

again nabp, i just feel exactly the same. my dh is my greatest love, i am sure we are soul mates. OM is certainly wrong place wrong time, in anothe lifetime we could possibly have something amazing. and i also know his dw who is lovley in fact i just saw her walk by while i was in starbucks this morning and i thought how sweet she is and how i wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her. (and yes a few years ago i would have 'hated' a woman in my situation....)

imagine how hard this is - OM and i and Dh all work in the same place. i run into OM at least once or twice a day... Om and Dh also really like eachother.........

anyways, i am happier knowing that i am the strong one here and i am going to do everything i can to keep it this way

notabadperson · 02/05/2008 23:04

DreamyMum, how hard that you all work in the same place. At least I don't have that. That said, if I saw more of him, I might just find it easier to pull myself together. At least now you know you have people on here who know how you feel.

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dreamymum · 02/05/2008 23:10

the problem with seeing him at work is that taking my mind off him is one thing, but how exactly do you stop your body from reacting? i feel like there's a huge magnetism between us. whenever we talk we end up being centimetres away from eachother.

Irisheyes78 · 02/05/2008 23:35

Have a look at the many, many threads on here from women that have been cheated on their husband or partner. Think of their children and then ask yourself is it really as deep and wonderful as you think.

If your finding it hard seeing other fella in work, find another job.

You are grown women not teenagers.

I dislike women like ye very much.