Is this just too distasteful?

[4tplussome]

Before I'm jumped on I'm thinking yes it is

I'm late 40s . I don't look my age by any stretch but I am late forties none the less.

I'm single, and on some kind line dating sites .

Had a few dates - nothing special. I'm happy alone tbh .

On one site a very young man has been messaging me. Now I'm not stupid at all - I know he's probably on some top trumps competition for a cougar or something.....but he is very persistent and I actually feel a bit of a connection. I've had loads of young men message and I've dismissed them all . Except this one . He is younger than my kids and I'm thinking just no.....
Yet he seems very clear about what he wants and is quite refreshing. I've been chatting. I should block shouldn't I? I feel like I should be in some register somewhere just for talking to him....

I didn't even mention his age, your age, his looks or your looks! You keep going on about your ages and looks!

Just enjoy it then OP, there's no obligation for you to update the thread again especially if you were finding it unhelpful or upsetting.

Relax, smile and enjoy whatever makes you happy.

After canvassing opinions from colleagues who don't know my age it seems I look between 35 and 38

I’m embarrassed for you.

Bun

Have you read the thread? I'm not just talking about what you have posted.

Ok I'll add embarrassing to the list
Thanks odette.

All for having the audacity to still be a fairly attractive woman in her 40s and contemplate seeing a man who is very much a man, not a boy,

🤮 Sorry OP but please read this back and think about it.

After canvassing opinions from colleagues who don't know my age it seems I look between 35 and 38. So I don't and aren't going to look like his mother.

You’ve canvassed opinions. Sorry, but people will be being kind, which is lovely and means they like you and don’t want to hurt you. You said you looked 33 earlier. I think most people look roughly their age, some more ‘well groomed’ than others. I’m sure you look great.

But none of this matters. Be realistic. You can do whatever you want, but just make sure it really does make you happy.

Yes I've read the whole thread and I've been shocked that whatever anyone has mentioned at any point, you've always steered back to telling us all how young you look over and over again. I don't doubt you look young, I'm sure you look fabulous, but you've been so preoccupied with reiterating you don't look your age that lots of people have picked up on the fact you seem fixated on it.

It seems odd that the thread has bothered you so much yet you've come back on to update everyone... if you're happy with your decisions re this guy then go for it and just enjoy it?

This thread is simply a vehicle for op to keep talking about her "beautiful man"

I think you have done this before op...the last long running thread was about your arsehole ex. He treated you like shit but you kept going back for more and more

The one before that was about your ex husband

There may well have been others imbetween. There is a common background....your absolutely blatant fixation on (unsuitable) men and how your relationships with them are how you validate yourself. I have advised you before that you need to seek help as to why you keep doing this. You seem hell bent on fucking up your life.

You both are adults, relationships can still formed without love or sex. Something mutual each other can exchange for happiness. Just be cautious.

If you really don't care what anyone thinks of you and you think you can find common ground with a 22 year old then crack on.

I reckon I'd fail on both counts.

Af

I was married to my ex husband for 28 years. Most of it very happily. He wasn't unsuitable but we had met as teens and things changed.

Yes my ex wasn't great but I didn't keep going back - we lived together. When it became patently obvious it was never going to improve I left .

I live alone now and I'm very content .
But I joined a couple of dating sites just to get out really and see. I thought 47 was a bit young to become a nun .

I don't exactly know what I've done to warrant such anger and hatred. I've had 2 long term relationships.

I'm now sporadically dating . I do t need "help" if any sort ( we'll a few grand win on the lottery would help) but I do t get how anyone can psychoanalyse anyone they haven't met, and don't know .

I am actually quite settled and sorted .

I didn't realise you policed the relationship board, deciding what is a valid post and what isn't. Nor did I realise you are now qualified in psychology from behind a screen .

I am actually quite settled and sorted .

Great. 👍

Personally I don’t think a woman of nearly 50 wanting any kind of relationship with a 22 year old is settled and sorted. But maybe I’m weird. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm not sure younger men go for older women because they think they can learn about sex. I think at 48 for many women (but not all) the swinging from the chandelier days are over and I suspect younger men want adventure. They may just be physically attracted to older women or want something else from the connection.

My colleague is 23, him and his mates go out with older women to out do each other, some kind of (cruel) game. They think it's hilarious and the older the better apparently.

Sharing texts and photos etc.

Hideous behaviour but be careful op.

Good for you. Too many jealous people on here

Mooning after a 21yo is not "settled and sorted". It really isn't.

There seems to be some accusation that I have "issues" to underline the fact this is so very bad .

I don't have issues. 2 relationships, one of which wasn't a good fit , am I that unusual in that ? Does everyone only have good relationships and never break up with anyone?

I'm definitely not mooning ! This is all getting ridiculously finger wagging .

I aren't some little old biddy. I'd like to think I might actually have sex again before I get past it .

I'm talking to a man. He seems nice.

It doesn't matter what I say. I'm not mentally unwell. Unstable. Have issues with men , I don't always go for unsuitable men (my marriage was very normal and I'm assuming the fact it lasted so longer meant for the most part it worked).

There isn't any point in staying on the thread just to be insulted. Thanks .

Full disclosure - why did you start the thread? For an ego boost?

Oh that’s mean. To share her excitement and bewilderment

You out yourself every single time on these threads. I don't know why you do this.

It's a grim read. Why not step away from the thread now? You asked originally if it was distasteful. Overwhelmingly you've been told it is. You insist on coming back to tell us more about how beautiful he is, how he's probably the next poet laureate and some sort of new day Picasso etc. It's seriously creepy, it really is.

Will you stop? No. Will you continue to seek validation on here , Facebook and god knows where else? Yes.

Honestly, just stop now

Overwhelmingly you've been told it is.

No she hasn't.

She's had about equal "it is" and "it's fine, you're both consenting adults".

Bloody hell @4tplussome don't you know that women are not supposed to be enjoying sex unless it is for the sole purpose of procreation? Also, did you miss the memo that every single man in the world ever is a raging pervert (unless he is fertilising your eggs and paying the mortgage)?

Honestly, why are people so uptight about sex? Yes, he might have a MILF fantasy? If you are happy to partake then so what? I say go for it if you want, why the hell not? It's legal and nobody is being betrayed. Go forth OP and have the sex life YOU want, not what others think you should have.

Op, I date younger men (not that young tbh). I'm mid forties, they tend to be about 30. I don't do monogamy but I do honesty and safe sex with other single people.

Some of my younger friends with benefits I have been seeing for literally years. They are kind, respectful (and hot) people.
But they know that it's only friendship and fun. If you can manage that, then crack on. It doesn't sound like you can if you're really honest with yourself. But I wish you well.

Sounds like @OwlPop knows the OP 🤣