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Original poster

Dp constantly moans about my boobs

346 replies

Mumofthree1984 · 13/04/2020 16:05

Sorry for the rant but I'm so so so pissed off. Dp constantly moans about my boobs, yes they are quite big a 38 DD/E he hated me wearing balcony bras so I took him with me to get fitted in M&S into full cup bras (his choice) a pack of two padded and 2 lacey, he was ok with these at the time. My black padded one has somehow gone missing, I'm. Sure it's in the house somewhere but with 5 of us living here probably got mixed up somewhere. Any way he hates me wearing low cut tops, when I say low cut they aren't the type that my tits are literally hanging out, in fact u can't even see my cleavage just my chest. He says it's if I. Lean forward u can see done some of them. This is becoming very very very draining. I even ripped a bra off in an argument well actually 2 now, we were going up to the cemetary to visit my dads grave, all ready to leave and he starts, we'll that tops a bit revealing, i was so angry, it's not even showing anything! I ripped the top. Off anf the bra, so. Now I'm. Down to 1 bra yes 1, i refuse to buy anymore, I can't afford it, i said why don't we just cut my boobs off, that's the last option we have. I'm not wearing turtle necks all year, so. Now I'm sat in my pyjamas really annoyed whilst he is in my room. Going through all my tops! I've had enough seriously enough

OP posts:
Wildcat88 · 13/04/2020 18:05

My exH was like this. Made my life hell if I wore "nice" clothes or heels on a night out. All because he was so self conscious himself, and an utter prick. 3yrs on, now with new DP who loves me for who I am and encourages me to look beautiful, be who I want to be, whatever that may be - because that's what love is. Do not waste anymore time with this man, you deserve so much better

MattBerrysHair · 13/04/2020 18:06

What do you mean he won't let you go on your own? How can he stop you, you're a grown woman?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 13/04/2020 18:09

He is not a lovely bloke

Please realise this

Original poster
Mumofthree1984 · 13/04/2020 18:10

It doesn't help that I'm so self conscious, I literally feel like living in my uniform. And dressing gown and that is it

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 13/04/2020 18:14

"Apart from this one issue he really is a lovely bloke"

Open your eyes woman, he is not lovely. If he was this would not be an issue. You feel like shit because HE MADE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT. He did that on purpose. These are not the actions of a man who loves and respects you.

OhLook · 13/04/2020 18:15

The idea that he should have any vague say in your underwear is ridiculous, let alone actually be able to go fucking bra shopping with you.

There's nothing to argue about. He has no day in your underwear or choice of tops and that's all there is to it. End of conversation.

TheFlis12345 · 13/04/2020 18:16

It’s clearly not the only issue though is it, as you have said he wouldn’t let you go to the cemetery without him. So it’s a much broader control issue than your underwear.

Parker231 · 13/04/2020 18:16

What a disgusting man - doesn’t have a positive opinion about women. I thought men like him had gone out with the ark.

Matildathehun77 · 13/04/2020 18:16

so I took him with me to get fitted in M&S into full cup bras (his choice) a pack of two padded and 2 lacey, he was ok with these at the time

I actually stopped reading here.
He does not have the right to control what you wear and choose your underwear to suit his tastes. That's appalling. How soon can you get away?

BackseatCookers · 13/04/2020 18:16

You're going to try and conceive with this man? A year in? Despite the issues in your relationship?

Your poor kids.

I hope you realise you're teaching them what a relationship looks like.

And that a man has the right to make decisions about a woman's body.

And that a man has the right to make decisions about a woman leaving the house. Even when she wants to visit her own fathers grave.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IS YOUR CHILDREN.

You've brought this man into their life and now you're going to try and have a baby with him?

What the fuck are you thinking?

BumbleBeee69 · 13/04/2020 18:16

OP look at what has done to your confidence Sweetheart... you hate your breasts and are talking about having fucking surgery because of HIM ?! there is nothing wrong with your breasts OP NOTHING...

HE IS THE PROBLEM.. not your Breasts Flowers

Parker231 · 13/04/2020 18:18

Why are you still at home - there is still time for a lovely walk. Take your phone with you and listen to some music. The fresh air always makes me feel more positive

category12 · 13/04/2020 18:18

What did you grow up with, that this doesn't seem massively wrong to you?

VettiyaIruken · 13/04/2020 18:20

Your breasts aren't the problem.
They are his weapon of choice.
If you had them reduced to an A cup he would simply find something else.
When you say you have a good relationship apart from this, it is no different than if you said we have a good relationship apart from the fact he hits me.

It isn't a good relationship if you have to remove a horrible element in order to describe it that that. What it is, is denial.

Bananalanacake · 13/04/2020 18:20

Sorry it's not clear how long you have been together but if you don't have dc together you could live Separately and see him once or twice a week, then he can't go through your clothes. But he's not a good DP anyway. I'm also a 38D and proud of my figure, if any man told me what to wear I would point and laugh at him.

Shakirasma · 13/04/2020 18:21

You are totally minimising the issue, making it a pigeonhole problem about your boobs. If fact it is a huge problem which fully permeates through every aspect of your relationship.
It's about him controlling you as though you are his possession. Him blaming you for his jealousy by the fact you happen to have large boobs. Him dictating to you when you can and cant go out without him.
Its controlling, its abusive, it's making you ill but he doesn't care. It's all about power to a man like him. Its nothing to do with your big boobs, if you didnt have them he would pick on something else, such as your hair, make up, or clothes.

You need to get rid of him while you still have an ounce of self esteem.

longtimecomin · 13/04/2020 18:22

He is a dick! LTB!!!

CodenameVillanelle · 13/04/2020 18:22

You keep saying apart from this issue he's perfect but he doesn't let you go out alone?! He's paranoid, controlling and possessive. This isn't a small thing and it's literally impossible that he's lovely apart from his massive controlling possessive streak. He MUST be controlling in other areas, you've probably just got used to it

Wearywithteens · 13/04/2020 18:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

CodenameVillanelle · 13/04/2020 18:23

You've only been with him for a year? They aren't his kids?
Fuck sake woman. Fuck him off.

Nanny0gg · 13/04/2020 18:25

Apart from this one issue he really is a lovely bloke,

NO HE ISN'T!

There is no 'apart'.

He is a pig. And your children are living with him.

PippaPegg · 13/04/2020 18:33

I got as far as him choosing your bras and felt sick OP.

He sounds dangerously controlling and manipulative. Please get him out of your home ASAP

chickenyhead · 13/04/2020 18:34

OP, what do you actually want?

You say that you have had enough, but all you have done is defend him.

Why is your self esteem so low that you accept this situation. Not being ALLOWED anywhere alone.

Surely you could see this behaviour before he moved in to your children's home.

You really need to catch a reality check. Your poor children.

NursieBernard · 13/04/2020 18:39

Please think of your children and do not conceive with this man.

soannya · 13/04/2020 18:41

You know this isn’t right and you know you have to dump him. By doing this, he’s wearing you down so you’re too confused and upset to a) go out alone and b) think about leaving him. Get rid of this wanker