I’m gonna try and sum up my situation when I found out about my wife’s emotional affair 3 1/2 years ago. We a currently still together ( dunno for how much longer tho)
We have been together now 24 years, married for 16, 4 kids.
In summer 2016 she told me she wanted to leave, complete shock, we were always so close, never any bad feeling or big arguments I trusted her unconditionally.
Of course I went looking for reasons why and as all our mobiles are on my providers account I noticed on her itemised bill one number she was texting 300 times or more a day. It was an old family friend of mine that she used to see on the school run.
Turns out she was flirting and getting new attention. I still think it went further just based on the fact it had been going on for 3 months prior.
Anyway, we sorted stuff out and stayed together. A year later she wanted a divorce, again she changed her mind, put me through hell and we stuck together. 6 months after that ( we are now Xmas 2017) I found she had been texting one of her girlfriends messages to forward on to this same guy again. After 18 months and me completely fixing whatever flaws I had according to her and giving her the best of who I am she still went through a lot of effort to hide the fact she was still talking to him via her friend.
At that point I very nearly left her, what little trust I had built up for her again was just gone. I know I was a fool for staying but here I am, still with her.
Just 4 days ago she mentioned about a guy who asked for her number while she went shopping. Immediately my heckles went up. Knowing her history I checked her mobile phone records again and found another new number she has been txting for the last few weeks, again 200 times a day, almost every few minutes.
I was mad, probably thought the worst. Stormed out to her asked her who her new “friend was” looked at her phone and the number was listed under one of her friends names, but it was a different number. She says her friend has a new phone but I don’t believe her.
She texts the number all day while she’s at home and rings it when she’s out at the shop or walking the dog or when I’m at work, never when I’m home.
Over the past 3 1/2 years I have never trusted her fully, always doubt her and I’ve always said to myself that one day she’ll do the same thing again. That side of the last 3 1/2 years has been hell, it’s overshadowed every other good memory we’ve made, every day out with the kids and every date night we’ve done.
You will never trust him again, he will do it again even if it means he has to jump through hoops hiding it like my wife has.
Don’t be a fool like me, don’t put yourself through the torment Ive been going through for years.
Make it right in your head, get your affairs in order, get emotional support from friends and family and leave. Something I probably should have done a long time ago.