Have you had an affair and how did you get over AP

[bloomingdalelovely]

Just that really - looking for input/comments from people who have been in this position.

He was aware of various aspects of our relationship that I was unhappy. I tried desperately to fix them for a long time. He really didn't.
While I accept that cheating was not the answer to my problems, I honestly don't think I could say now that I would have done things differently.
My AP, now DP gave me the emotional support that I needed to be able to step away from a life that was killing me. I literally couldn't have done it without him. The romantic and physical aspect of our relationship that existed was a happy and much wanted companion to that emotional support if that makes sense.

@ladymary86 how long were u with your ap for before you left?

Not very long, a few months.
I had one other AP before my now DP. I knew very quickly that it was different.
I had known him for a long time, it started off as a mutually supportive friendship that evolved into an attraction. I knew I didn't want to love my life without him. Sounds like a cliche but it's absolutely true.
He was single, no "baggage" for want or a better phrase.

@ladymary86 your situation sounds like mine in reverse. If it ends as I hope.

Of course it may end much worse and more dramatically and then I'll be one of the other people on this thread talking about how much they regret it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well I’m glad it worked out for you @ladymary86 💕

@affor I hope it works out for you too

I’d be lying if I wasn’t hoping that it works out for me. I bizarrely feel like he’s my other half . Don’t know what’s made up in my head or for real at this point

Me too @BlueHairBlues thank you.

Hope it works out for others who have posted also.
When this lockdown started, as bizarre as it may seem my mind turned to people who, like me, were sustaining an affair and how they would cope.

I’m all for getting the thread back on track too.
My AP has left his wife this week, he’s moved into his other house which he usually rents out but it’s empty at the moment.
My heads fucked!

My AP has left his wife this week, he’s moved into his other house which he usually rents out but it’s empty at the moment

Well surely if it's you he truly wants and he's not been spouting shit to keep a bit on the side then he's going to be begging you to move in with him, and then you can both live happily ever after

@Loubylou9162 his wife is pregnant, yes? Do you think their break will be just temporary if thats the case?
Are you willing to make a go of it if he asks as I recall you had reservations on leaving your DH

I’d just like to say that although there was a mutual attraction between me and AP, we didn’t even kiss until I had told my ex the marriage was over.
I had to do it that way as I’d previously been scathing about people who had affairs. I’m wiser now and realise relationships are complex and I should walk a mile in another’s shoes before I judge them.

@Loubylou9162 well it’s crunch time isn’t it. However, his head is going to be all over the place. He’s leaving a pregnant wife!?!?!? Why on earth would you want to be in a relationship with this man even if does ask you to shack up with him. He needs to work on himself

Same , I started a new life with AP. Still very much in love and although hard at time , I knew I had found my one

@Loubylou9162

He's leaving his pregnant wife? God, this thread is a sorry mess of self pity

He hasn’t left his pregnant wife for me. He’s left her because he is very unhappy. I’ve known this man for 15 years and never have I seen him so unhappy. The pregnancy is a result of a romantic weekend away in attempts to spend some time together and see if they could make it work, before me and him became a thing.
Both parties realised it wasn’t going to work, then they realised she was pregnant which just complicated it more.
She went for an abortion (her choice) because she’s aware a baby while they were having trouble isn’t a good idea. She got there and just couldn’t go through with it in the end.
So they’ve sort of plodded on for another few months. I believe she’s actually happy he’s left, not from him but from a mutual friend. She has also been unhappy for a while.
He will support them financially and I know he’ll want to be there for support to her with a new baby as much as she will allow him to be.

Yes he’s like me to also leave, however if I do I won’t be running away to live with him, if I leave it’ll be because I’ve decided my relationship can’t be fixed. I will make my own decisions, find a place to live for myself and then go from there.

The reason my heads so mashed is I’d decided lockdown was the time to break away from him. What we are doing is incredibly wrong and I’m well aware of that.
So how to hear he’s left and hear him asking me to leave has just confused me.

Whether he’s left his wife or not this shouldn’t change your objective to get over him during lockdown and decide whether you want to leave your husband. All this man is doing is messing with your head. Plus he needs to be by himself for a while before entering into another relationship

Just when I thought you couldn’t get worse than a limerance thread, along comes this pile of shite. You all need your heads banging together.

@Loubylou9162

Jesus, what a sorry mess. Yep, time to forget this jerk and move on.

@Innitogether

Yes. I read some of the crap above and I'm incredulous.

@thebridgelooksbroken, people having affairs seem to be coming out of the woodwork more now that they can’t hook up. If any good comes out of the situation we are in it might be that people really evaluate their relationships and find it within themselves not to be a party to deception.

woe is me! having an affair is really very stressful and sad and hard to deal with sob sob sob sarcasm alert

bridge

You're welcome to leave the thread if you don't like it. More than welcome.

@affor completely agree.

This is a support thread. Those who are not being supportive could always go and make their own thread to have a moan on

@affor @BlueHairBlues

A support thread! HAHAHAHA! Oh god. you guys kill me

woe is me! having an affair isreallyvery stressful and sad and hard to deal with sob sob sob

😂😂😂

Wow so the pregnant wife of your cheating shit of a boyfriend didn’t know he was shagging you on the side before he left her Louby? Assuming he also put her and her unborn baby at risk of STDs by having sex with you both at the same time?

I think the only people deserving of ‘support’ are the betrayed partners. This thread just gets more and more vile.