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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Parents want to go away for Christmas, and they want all the family with them, which includes my ex!

236 replies

Pinkchampagne · 12/09/2007 16:07

They want to go abroad because staying at home will be too upsetting without Nan, which I can totally understand as Christmas Eve has always been Nan's day, for as long as I can remember, and we will all be feeling very sad without her this year.
They feel that it would be more bearable if we all go away for Christmas, and they have talked to my ex husband about possibly going to Florida. (he told me about this when he phoned to speak to boys on Mon night)
They haven't said anything to me yet, but they apparantly want all the family there, and dad is going to call one of his family meetings about this!

I feel it would be good to get away this year, and Christmas is a time where you should be with your family, so I should make the effort, but I just don't know if I could grit my teeth and get through it.

I wouldn't want the boys away from their dad at Christmas time either, and he would obviously want to see them, so can kind of understand him being included in a way, but it would feel wrong to go away with him & could give him & my family false hope.

What do I do about this one?

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:33

Yes thanks, it all seemed infact to go too well, I keep thinking it hasnt happened, and I've still got to go through it!

Did the boys behave on Fri evening - and did you have a nice meal?

I drank too much beer!!!!!!

pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:34

What is it with him, its your house, tell him to butt out!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 20:36

Yes they were ok for BIL, and the night out was good. Food gone downhill a bit in Cuban, but it was a good night!
Glad the party went ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 20:36

I did tell him to butt out!

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:37

Thinking of offering my services out!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 20:39

What services? Party entertainer?

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:45

Yes!! What do you reckon??????? You could be my helper!!!!!! Fancy a side line!!!!

pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:48

Have just bumped my thread for you!

You may have guessed I am in a very good mood!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 20:53

I couldn't be your helper. DS1 only had 5 friends back for his birthday on Tuesday, and I found the whole experience noisy and exhausting!

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:54

LOLS, it was very peaceful here, honest!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 20:55

Girls are quieter creatures than boys!

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:58

So, going back to your problem, well part of it, What are you and parents now going to do for Christmas?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 21:00

Not sure, but mum seemed to be saying that they would forget about the holiday idea if I wasn't going. She doesn't want to be without the boys at Christmas.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 21:01

I said that I didn't want to spoil it for everyone else, so they could still go if they wanted to.

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 21:02

Well thats kind of positive! Hope they do listen to you!

pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 21:04

If they all go away, you are more than welcome here! Every one in this household if they stay over Christmas Eve gets a sack!!!!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 21:08

Bless! Thanks for the invite.

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 21:09

I can cook a mean roast!!!!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 21:12

I know you do!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 21:21

When mum said about us both moving on, I very nearly told her that I have already been out with another man, but then decided not to mention it yet.

OP posts:
pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 21:23

Oh PC, you are getting cheeky, hope you are not spending time with too much of someone!!!!!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 21:25

No not at all, bubble!

OP posts:
tribpot · 16/09/2007 21:55

PC - bloody well done you. And as for ex-H having the utter nerve to criticise the state of your living room - was there not a temptation to look at him with a mildly curious frown and say "er - yeah. This is why I left you you assmunch"?

Still PMSL at your mum's "I wouldn't expect you to share a bed" Gee, thanks. She's really grasped the nuances of separation, hasn't she?!

Glad you got things off your chest.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 16/09/2007 22:22

I did feel very much like saying just that to him, tribpot, and certainly thought it!

I was all wound up when I phoned mum, and said he was an arse, and still behaving like that arse. I said that I didn't want him stepping inside my house if he was going to behave like that.
She said, well he doesn't have to, you could take the boys out to him. To which I said "Doesn't help when you go and get him keys cut to my house!"
I was feeling very angry & upset at the time, and I really lost it.

OP posts:
tribpot · 16/09/2007 22:29

So your mum is saying, if he comes to the house to fetch his own children, he's entitled to criticise your housekeeping to your face? I think not. Although I like the sideswipe about the key, so score one to PC for that!