Parents want to go away for Christmas, and they want all the family with them, which includes my ex!

[Pinkchampagne]

They want to go abroad because staying at home will be too upsetting without Nan, which I can totally understand as Christmas Eve has always been Nan's day, for as long as I can remember, and we will all be feeling very sad without her this year.
They feel that it would be more bearable if we all go away for Christmas, and they have talked to my ex husband about possibly going to Florida. (he told me about this when he phoned to speak to boys on Mon night)
They haven't said anything to me yet, but they apparantly want all the family there, and dad is going to call one of his family meetings about this!

I feel it would be good to get away this year, and Christmas is a time where you should be with your family, so I should make the effort, but I just don't know if I could grit my teeth and get through it.

I wouldn't want the boys away from their dad at Christmas time either, and he would obviously want to see them, so can kind of understand him being included in a way, but it would feel wrong to go away with him & could give him & my family false hope.

What do I do about this one?

Well done Pink Champagne. Little by little you are getting there. It may be awful but you have won a battle today, you didn't want to go and now... you are not going!

So, may be hurting a bit but you have just accomplished what you wanted

Good for you but sorry you had to get so upset. I split from my husband in March, well told him in December and moved out in March. I once totally lost it with my mother as she was wearing blinkers and getting all hen arsed mouthed over it. I really really lost it though but luckily my friend was there to support me. She was different after that. She still says things like, it's a pity you can't all have a day out together? I just say no, my bf wouldn't like it as I wouldn't if he was going out with his ex and his kids for a family day out.
I know how you feel, it's like you're talking to the wall and you may as well be banging your head off it.
Hope she got the picture.

may feel awful

I think it was because I had clearly lost it so badly, that she actually took notice of me for a change.

I have been in a right old state today.

Well done, let's hope she really listens now. Sorry you've had a bad day though.

Well, you lost it, no problem, the good point of that is that now she has a clue how upsetting all this business is for you.

She even said "I think you should both move on & find someone else"
Don't know if that was to check for my reaction.

I know the feeling, so drained I bet

What did you say?

Totally drained. It has been brewing for a while, and after ex H had the nerve to run down the state of my lounge, I was just ready to make that call, but I kind of lost the plot totally.

I said that she was probably right there, and I feel that ex H carries on in a strange state of denial at times.
She said "Well I think he holds a little hope of you coming back to him one day, and told dad a while back that he loves me very much, and will continue to look after me"
I told her that he needs to move on because I'm not going back.

PC, it is only natural you feel like this, you have had a bad day. I very much respect you have been able to keep your feelings hidden through so much.

A big hug, I'm sending you a box of virtual chocolates (in case virtual hugs were not useless enough...)

Sorry, should say "loves you" he wasn't saying he loved my mum!

Oh well, he looks as he does too, so no problem

Thanks, Isabel

For the hug & chocolates that is! Any chance of some wine too, or is that pushing it?

Ok, let me see what I have around as the stores are clossed now...

Would a lambrusco do?

not so keen on the lambrusco, so I may have to pass on that one, but thanks for the offer!

[Digs deeper down the wine cabinet...]

Oh, just found a Vega Sicilia hidden by DH. DH will kill me but I think is well worth the ocassion

There!

lovely, that will do nicely!

even!

OMG pC, I have obviously lived in my own bubble!! this weekend, are you ok?

What a nightmare, you do need to stick up to your parents, in time it will get easier, honest!! Look at my mother, for years she used to give me grief, now she hardly bothers me because I started to stand up to her, hopefully I wasnt rude(knowing my track record I probably was!)

All I can say is that at the end of the day, you have 2 gorgeous young men to tend to, and they need a Mummy who is ok, dont be deterred by your parents!

Well done PC, at least now you have got it off your chest to her and cleared the air about how it makes you feel. Don't feel bad that you lost it, I think anyone would have done the same, they put you in a terrible position! Hopefully they will soon accept it.

Your ex couldn't even stand in your doorway without critiscing? Wow why on earth did you let such a charmer go! Bet it's nice to know it really isn't his concern anymore!

Hiya, bubble. I am ok thanks. I know you have had a busy weekend with parties! Did all go ok?

It is, Kay, but I was very angry when he left today, and told mum that I don't want him even coming into my house if he is going to be such an arse, never mind sit round a dinner table with him at their house!