New DP and back handed compliments

[MoJoBangles]

I met DP a few weeks before lock down so very new relationship. He has been very complimentary from the start of the relationship (abit too much tbh), however I've noticed a change recently where he will say something mean, followed by a compliment and I'm not sure if this is a deal breaker.

Things he has said include:

"I used to find stretch marks a turn off but I find yours sexy"

"your vagina isn't the prettiest but it feels the best I've ever had"

"I know it's weird but I love your stomach" (I've had 3 DC so he knows I hate my stomach)

To be honest, the part about my vagina really upset me the most as I have always been abit paranoid about how it looks (I've never let him know this though). I feel like never letting him see it again.

When I raised the issue, he said he wants me to know his compliments are genuine and therefore he is being honest but I've never asked him to review my body parts and I would never do the same to him (and his body is far from my type). He has a hang up about the size of his penis but I would never say to him that I enjoy sex despite his small dick.

He also seems to be fishing for me to say he's the best ive had in bed but to be honest he's not, so I would never say that to him but I give positive feedback and tell him I enjoy sex with him.

Its starting to really irritate me and I'm not sure if it's a deal breaker or whether I'm being too sensitive but I'm worried I'm being negged by him.

He's really lovely in every other way and has made his feelings for me clear from the start but I'm not sure I want to be with someone who is so terrible at compliments. I've been in abusive relationships in the past which really tore down my self esteem so I have lost perspective on what is "normal".

Should I give him another chance or should this be a deal breaker?

Ditch . He knows full well what he's saying and doing to you with this bullshit.
Wanker.

I’d find it embarrassing to be told that about my vagina. I have similar hang ups about my own and I’d be feel embarrassed and self conscious. No need for him to say it. It’s rude. Tell him he has a small dick and then cut him off

Anyone who says that fully intends for you to take away that your vagina looks bad. So that you feel upset.

Op I really hope you've dumped him. Hopefully quarantine will aid this

He sounds like an absolute wanker. Clueless or deliberately negging you? I think the latter. You don’t slag off any aspect of your partner thoughtlessly, so I think this is a deliberate attempt at negging.

*@PamelaPupkin Sorry but I’d absolutely join in - “Yeah I know what you mean - I always used to think that size was important but your cock is really cute” etc.

Have a little fun until he’s reduced to an insecure wreck, then dump.*

You are good!!

GreenFizzyWater, thank you, that made me laugh, right down to the “When he doesn’t like it, go all wide-eyed” detail. Brilliant.

It gets on my tits, we all have things like that.

The correct word is breasts, not tits.

Op you know you need to dump him.

Reply “Oh babe that means so much that you’re honest. I know what you mean though... it’s funny isn’t it, I used to think dick size was so important! You’ve shown me there’s so much more to life than good sex!”

The correct word is breasts, not tits.

The colloquial saying is "it gets on my tits". Tits is one of the many words for breasts. Vagina is not one of the many words for vulva; it's a totally different body part.

Likewise using vagina to mean vulva is not a colloquial saying, it is people mixing up the parts of their anatomy.

Is that too complicated for you to understand ?

I've already agreed with another poster that this is a pointless stupid detail - why don't you wise up and leave it too.

@PurpleTrilby

I didn't even have to report your post yet it's deleted, have you not been on here long or are you just very very silly?

*pointless stupid derail

@MehitabelWhurl 🤣

I was pointing out how silly it is when you correct people's use of vagina when you're also using the anatomically incorrect word for breasts.

It could be argued that vagina is a widely accepted (by everyone else) colloquialism for female genitals. Not scientifically, but socially. It's not something to get so angry about, surely.

I'm not intending to derail as much as you have. Have a nice day.

I'm not intending to derail as much as you have.

Myself and another poster briefly derailed and then agreed civilly to leave it - you are the one dragging it up and on.

And you still haven't grasped the concept above.

You have a nice day too darlin, I mean that with all the sincerity that you meant when you wrote it.

Definitely get in his small knob before finishing it. Payback time OP.

'Even though your teeny tiny penis isn't a big problem for me, other things about our relationship are so I've decided it's best not to see each other anymore'

@PamelaPumpkin 🤣🤣 my kinda girl!

What a bellend!

I hope you realise that he's doing this to wear you down, to make you feel 'grateful' that he'll have you, because 'nobody else would like your stretch marks, vulva, or stomach,' and you're so lucky that he is willing to look past them.

He's trying to crush your self esteem so you don't dare think of looking elsewhere when you realise what a twat he is! This is only early days too, I shudder to think what your head will be like listening to this kind of shit long term.

And I know ridiculing his dick is tempting, he fucking deserves it, but I fear it would just open you up to more insults.

“I don’t normally enjoy sex with small penised, inexperienced men, but you show some potential, and once you’re trained up properly you’ll be good”.

Oh god I was with someone like this for awhile, he would say things like, the lads don't think your great looking but holy fuck I think your gorgeous, when I know right well he wouldn't have even had that conversation with his friends, well the ones he said were saying that.

Its like they are trying to let you feel they are the only ones who care or give you compliments, I would dump him asap hun.

Friends can also be like this, had a friend who would constantly take little digs but let on other people had said it and she of course was the friend in shining armour , no way blanconita is gorgeous, blanconita has a great personality, BLA BLA

It is their own insecurities coming out and they just feel better to keep you down below them. Rots me

He’s not your DP. He’s your boyfriend

Can everybody stop talking about the poor OP’s vagina or vulva or whatever. As if she hasn’t had it mentioned enough!

I want the OP to report back on what’s she’s said to my tiny peanut.

He ain't no friend and he certainly ain't dear....

@Fantasiaa that's a useful comment..... not!

Vaginas are supposed to be PRETTY?!

Of course they're not. Any more than penises are.

No way could I give a toss what mine LOOKS like. And nor could any heterosexual man. By the time you get to that point, you're not there to stand around gazing at it. You're just happy to be allowed in its vicinity .

Oh and also the OP should dump her weird boyfriend who keeps making up criticisms to put her down.