New DP and back handed compliments

[MoJoBangles]

I met DP a few weeks before lock down so very new relationship. He has been very complimentary from the start of the relationship (abit too much tbh), however I've noticed a change recently where he will say something mean, followed by a compliment and I'm not sure if this is a deal breaker.

Things he has said include:

"I used to find stretch marks a turn off but I find yours sexy"

"your vagina isn't the prettiest but it feels the best I've ever had"

"I know it's weird but I love your stomach" (I've had 3 DC so he knows I hate my stomach)

To be honest, the part about my vagina really upset me the most as I have always been abit paranoid about how it looks (I've never let him know this though). I feel like never letting him see it again.

When I raised the issue, he said he wants me to know his compliments are genuine and therefore he is being honest but I've never asked him to review my body parts and I would never do the same to him (and his body is far from my type). He has a hang up about the size of his penis but I would never say to him that I enjoy sex despite his small dick.

He also seems to be fishing for me to say he's the best ive had in bed but to be honest he's not, so I would never say that to him but I give positive feedback and tell him I enjoy sex with him.

Its starting to really irritate me and I'm not sure if it's a deal breaker or whether I'm being too sensitive but I'm worried I'm being negged by him.

He's really lovely in every other way and has made his feelings for me clear from the start but I'm not sure I want to be with someone who is so terrible at compliments. I've been in abusive relationships in the past which really tore down my self esteem so I have lost perspective on what is "normal".

Should I give him another chance or should this be a deal breaker?

I can understand that the news about your ex will have stung a bit but is he the one that was abusive?
Have you heard of the freedom programme, you can do it online and apparently it is a massive help to women that end up in abusive relationships.
It will give you the tools you need to prioritise yourself. Please try and get some help, even if it's just help for you to make better choices. The most important person in your life is you.
You can only change yourself you can't change other people's behaviour
You matter, you're important and you've just shown that you can put yourself first. Keep on making yourself your priority.

@MissHoskins thank you for your kind words.

No, this ex wasn't abusive but he was never that into me even though we were together 1.5 years. I think that's why it stings, I wasnt good enough to marry.

I have done the freedom programme and have done alot of work on myself over the past year. This guy was actually the first person I've dated since my last abusive ex and I thought I was ready. I am proud of myself for walking away after a few weeks as in the past I would have made excuses for the way he was treating me. I still ignored alot of red flags though which I'm angry at myself for.

I think I should give up on dating permanently as I'm still exclusively attracting arseholes!!

Are you attracting arseholes?
Or are you attracting a variety of different men and then choosing the arseholes?

@TwilightPeace good point.

I really thought this one was a good bet. He was quiet, shy, intelligent, softly spoken, non threatening or pushy in any way. To be honest he was abit nerdy and inexperienced and I thought alot of the red flags I ignored initially were down to his naivity in relationships.

Turns out he was a creepy, misogynistic aresehole too. I'm actually thinking he may be a covert narc (sigh)

Are you attracting arseholes?
Or are you attracting a variety of different men and then choosing the arseholes?

Or are you choosing the men who choose you first? Where does this idea come from that women have a sea of men from to choose from and the onus is on them to choose wisely?