New DP and back handed compliments

[MoJoBangles]

I met DP a few weeks before lock down so very new relationship. He has been very complimentary from the start of the relationship (abit too much tbh), however I've noticed a change recently where he will say something mean, followed by a compliment and I'm not sure if this is a deal breaker.

Things he has said include:

"I used to find stretch marks a turn off but I find yours sexy"

"your vagina isn't the prettiest but it feels the best I've ever had"

"I know it's weird but I love your stomach" (I've had 3 DC so he knows I hate my stomach)

To be honest, the part about my vagina really upset me the most as I have always been abit paranoid about how it looks (I've never let him know this though). I feel like never letting him see it again.

When I raised the issue, he said he wants me to know his compliments are genuine and therefore he is being honest but I've never asked him to review my body parts and I would never do the same to him (and his body is far from my type). He has a hang up about the size of his penis but I would never say to him that I enjoy sex despite his small dick.

He also seems to be fishing for me to say he's the best ive had in bed but to be honest he's not, so I would never say that to him but I give positive feedback and tell him I enjoy sex with him.

Its starting to really irritate me and I'm not sure if it's a deal breaker or whether I'm being too sensitive but I'm worried I'm being negged by him.

He's really lovely in every other way and has made his feelings for me clear from the start but I'm not sure I want to be with someone who is so terrible at compliments. I've been in abusive relationships in the past which really tore down my self esteem so I have lost perspective on what is "normal".

Should I give him another chance or should this be a deal breaker?

Dump and run.

Anyone who uses negging is a total arsehole with no respect for women. Misogynist.

Classic, classic, classic negging OP!

Usually negging happens when the man thinks he's beneath you so he tries to throw insults to make you feel insecure. But always in a way that is dressed up as a compliment.

Get rid of him! Especially if he's not even that good in bed. What a pathetic loser he is.

Say to him, yes you are the best I've had even though you have a tiny cock 😂

Absolutely loving all the suggested mirroring comments you can make to him here! Do it. Then move on.

He sounds horrendous!

PPs came up with some good break up lines. You could do it by a short text like his micropenis, then block.

even although your penis isnt the biggest, I do enjoy sex with you, its just not the best I've ever had. I'm looking for something better long term

This 😁😁😁

Give him a taste if his own medicine and move on. My ex, who had a tiny pecker and crap in bed, said things like this. It ruined my self esteem. Oh how I wish I'd been more quick-witted instead of stunned by his words - I could've made him feel like shit. I really wish I had as he ended up cheating on me just after our baby was born... and just after he said my vagina looked like a hacked kebab and heaved multiple times. (I'd just given birth FFS)

Two years on and I still can't bring myself to date or touch another man. Run.

and just after he said my vagina looked like a hacked kebab and heaved multiple times. (I'd just given birth FFS)

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I feel verbal abuse should be dealt with by physical abuse, it's equally as damaging.

Dump. Seriously

Oh god, he's horrible! You need to do more work before you date again if you thought this was in any way normal.

Haha glad you've had the unanimous vote!

I do recommend a wide eyed innocent killer 'review' in return. Not only might it give him a taste of his own medicine and stop him being such a bellend in future, it will end the relationship rather nicely.

Wait until he makes some dressed-up nasty remark and return the observation using his penis as an example.

"I used to find stretch marks a turn off but I find yours sexy"

'That's sweet. I used to think I liked really big penises but now I've experienced yours I really like it!'

"your vagina isn't the prettiest but it feels the best I've ever had"

'You too. It may not be the biggest but I do anjoy it!'

"I know it's weird but I love your stomach"

'Same here. I know you don't think your penis is big enough but I love it, I think it's cute!'

He will HATE it and you will be able to go super wide eyed. 'What? What's the problem? You say things like that to me allll the time - don't you like those kind of compliments?'

and then when he gets upset you can say, 'Good. Time to fuck off then isn't it and be careful next time you get busy with the negging just in case you get a taste of your own medicine. Oh and no you weren't the best I've had by a LONG way, you might have lasted a bit longer if it weren't for the stupid negging shit but as it is - not worth my time. Byeeee'

Yuk.

Get out now.

Massive arsehole alert. Dealbreaker.

Also what @FizzyGreenWater said is perfect.

God, just dump him. Don't play PA aggressive games with a maggot-dicked, negging, abusive POS.

End this now, while you're not as emotionally invested.

I would not bother with him anymore. Rest assured this is deliberate- compliments to make you feel desired and encourage you to develop feelings, qualifying them with this crap to chip away at your self esteem.

No reason he couldn't just say 'you have a beautiful stomach' or 'sex with you feels amazing' if he wanted to.

I would let this fizzle during isolation.

You need to dump him.

And tell him why.

'Your vagina isn't the prettiest...' don't even let him finish that sentence and get rid for that!

More red flags than China!

has made his feelings for me clear from the start

How early into the relationship and what did he say?

Sounds like a nasty little cunt with a small dick. I had this with a 'best friend' who became a lover. Fuck he was the most spiteful gasliighty fucker I've ever been with. It suddenly became clear why he was long term single. Get out now before he rips your self esteem to shreds.

People like this often say loads of nice flattering compliments to start with so that you don't question the nasty stuff when they start saying that.

Chuck him, he thinks he is doing you a favour!