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Original poster

Husband has gone to another house

127 replies

smileandsing · 01/04/2020 08:15

I heard my DH leave very early this morning and get in a taxi. I messaged him and he said he was going to a friend's house and admitted he had been drinking (a whole other thread). I told him to come back right away as he was risking our health by doing this. Initially he said he was but it's been over 2 hours and he's not home.
I am really worried as he has breached the 'rules' and put several people's health at potential risk, particularly as I have a compromised immune system and we have a young child.
I think calling the Police may only serve to inflame the situation and in him getting a fine, which doesn't solve the health worries. Pretty sure the friend won't allow him to stay there indefinitely.
Any practical suggestions on what to do?

OP posts:
PertEllaTitsahoy · 01/04/2020 08:17

I'd be locking the door and telling him to stay with his friend

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 01/04/2020 08:18

Is he normally impulsive like this?

Do you want him to come back?

He should obviously wash his hands, preferably change his clothes on his return.

And would you want him in isolation within the household for 3 weeks in case he caught covid 19?
Do you have space for that?

I think because of your immune system your health has to come first.

For me, I might not want him to come back

YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus · 01/04/2020 08:21

I’d be packing him a bag and leaving it outside for him. Inconsiderate selfish behaviour.

TreeTopTim · 01/04/2020 08:21

I would also refuse to have him in the house. What's he going to do phone the police?! And then have to explain to them that he is not sticking to the rules and is risking spreading it.

Rocketmam · 01/04/2020 08:24

You sure it's just a 'friend'?

Verily1 · 01/04/2020 08:24

Wtf?

There must be some backstory to this...

MadameGazelleIsMyHomegirl · 01/04/2020 08:24

I’m sorry, but this sounds fishy. Could there be another woman?

bulletjournalbilly · 01/04/2020 08:24

Friend my arse!!!!!

Babyfg · 01/04/2020 08:26

My husband wanted to 'pop' to the shops for some pringles. I told him he is more than welcome to go but he's not risking all of us for some crisps so the the door would be bolted as soon as he left.

I think this is why men are higher on the death rates because they find it harder to follow advice (and the sense of entitlement society has ingrained in them 🙄)

PicsInRed · 01/04/2020 08:31

Put your key in the lock so he can't get back in.

Agree with PPs I'm afraid. "Friend".

You're isolating for your health. He's made his choice and he lives elsewhere now.

These ones can be so difficult to get out of the house during normal times. Congratulations on getting rid. It doesn't feel like it now, but his gross disregard for your health shows what a good thing this will turn out to be. 💐

Key in the door, hold your nerve if he calls the police or sends a solicitors letter. Just parrot what you've said here - you are in self isolation, in accordance with govt guidelines, in order to preserve your life. He has broken quarantine, therefore may not return for the duration of the crisis. (And file for divorce/occupation order, you have the unreasonable behaviour right here).

Quickquestion2020 · 01/04/2020 08:33

Lock him out and leave the key in the door turned so he cant get his key in. If he causes trouble call the police and tell them how he's put you at risk and you cant let him in.

Butternutbrownie · 01/04/2020 08:41

I was wondering how all the cheaters were going to cope during this.

Apparently it's by convincing their other half that when they had a drink they then had an overwhelming urge to visit a 'friend' in the early hours of the morning.

Even if that is not the case...he has put his desures (either for another woman or an actual friends company) above your health/life.

Lock the bastard out before he can infect you with CV (or an STD).

IronNeonClasp · 01/04/2020 08:48

Hope you're ok OP. Absolutely concur with PP. you must see the risks from all angles Thanks

cornishdreams1 · 01/04/2020 08:48

Op do you think he has gone to a 'friend'? What friend would expect him to turn up in the middle of a lockdown?

I am afraid this is pretty unforgivable behaviour and he is putting you and a young child at risk.

If this were my dh he would not be coming back. No way!

IronNeonClasp · 01/04/2020 08:50

Just to add - telling him to 'wash his hands and clothes when he gets home..'

No words Hmm

Staypositivepeople · 01/04/2020 08:51

Sorry to hear this op
In your shoes I wouldn’t be thinking friend

Soontobe60 · 01/04/2020 08:52

Op, are you sure he's gone to a friend's house? I'd be concerned that something different may have happened. How's his mental health? Can you check with his friend if he's there?

Ugzbugz · 01/04/2020 08:52

So left at 6.15am to carry on drinking? Is he taking drugs? Just lock the door!

NotStayingIn · 01/04/2020 08:54

He has snuck out very early in the morning to go and see a 'friend'?

And he actually thinks you are stupid enough to fall for that? You've got to be kidding me. I'm so sorry OP but there is no way that is a friend.

The only alternative I can see is that he is an addict and has gone for a fix. But that he has literally gone and seen a friend, at a crazy hour early in the morning... no chance.

Original poster
smileandsing · 01/04/2020 08:55

There is a back story, yes. And definitely no other woman (I know people say that but his vice is not that)
He's an alcoholic. He was drinking all night (didn't know, but not surprised). He ran out and went to a friend's to drink. He also has issues with cocaine.
I've told him not to come back. I will keep the door locked. Should I call 101 for advice or only do that if he comes back?

OP posts:
TheWordmeister · 01/04/2020 08:56

What a strange thing to do in the circumstances. Is there an OW?

Alsohuman · 01/04/2020 08:58

I think this is why men are higher on the death rates

No, it’s because they’ve got the Y chromosome. Mine’s terrified of catching this virus and hasn’t left the house for a fortnight, other than to walk the dog. Apparently I’m invincible and fine to do the shopping.

I wouldn’t let him back in, OP.

NewYearNewJob123 · 01/04/2020 08:59

What do you think 101 can do?

RandomUser3049 · 01/04/2020 09:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

gingersausage · 01/04/2020 09:03

What on earth do you think the police are going to do? Honestly this place is getting beyond insane.