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Original poster

Sorry but what the fuck.

150 replies

Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 19:51

Where do I start?.

Me and my partner in bedroom and i could see his snapchat open and a pretty long message, men being men they usually have one sentence convo, so being nosey I was like who's that? He said his friend "Josh and clicked off the convo.

So by his face I could tell it was not Josh, asked to see. He keeps saying no looking awkward as fuck.

Eventually he shows me, conversation deleted. But it's a girl.

I lost my shit and after talking he told me it's a girl who will NOT leave him alone. Keeps saying if he doesnt meet her that she will report him for things he hasn't done.

Me thinking bullshit messages her, asking was it true, now thats when things got really weird and she said no they are friends, and that I better not try and stop her from contacting him. That she will find our house and come see him because they are friends.

So I just said that's strange and if I'm honest believe him.

Now his phone has been ringing continuously for hours on private number and when he answers you can just hear breathing down the phone. Not saying anything.

I'm scared now, I believe him. Hes a very decent lad usually, lying to my face was a shock but we have a very happy relationship. So cheating never crossed my mind it was the awkwardness that made me question it.

He says him and his friends met her years ago at their local pub, They never even spoke in person she was just amongst them. After the pub meeting is when the messages started. Years ago!! He said she goes quiet for 3 months then starts again. He said he will get his friends here to confirm.

I'm actually terrified of who she is.

OP posts:
suspended · 27/03/2020 19:54

I would give her one chance- send a message clearly stating that she must not contact you or your partner.

If she doesn't you need to call 111. She sounds deranged.

That said he might not be so innocent either.

MikeUniformMike · 27/03/2020 19:55

It's suspicious. He will get one of his friends to tell you a story.
Do you live with him? Have you been a couple long?

Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 19:55

Hes told me shes had a boyfriend sent to prison for hitting her and I've googled her name and its true. He said the lad did not hit her.

I blocked her on snapchat but the private number keeps ringing I feel like crying. Why has he not told me this before!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 19:57

Its definitely suspicious but the way hes opened up to me now and the look on his face makes it very real, if they were cheating surely she would have said other message? She got weird on me!!

Basically threatened to not block her

OP posts:
h0llygolightly · 27/03/2020 20:00

Why hasn't he blocked her if she is making him uncomfortable? Also why would he reply to her and then lie about it? Sounds suspicious to me... However she sounds like a loon from what you have said, maybe DP should keep a log of what she has been doing or saying in the future incase he needs to report her to the police.

sidesplittinglol · 27/03/2020 20:08

Did they meet her before you and your partner got together or after? If after, why does she have your partners number?

MikeUniformMike · 27/03/2020 20:08

How can you have someone sent to prison for hitting you if they haven't?
asking for a friend

I'd say that he is saying that she is a nutter so that you don't believe her.

villamariavintrapp · 27/03/2020 20:14

If his story was true surely he'd be keeping her messages as proof in case anything happened?

Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 20:17

It sounds very pathetic and it's what I cant get my head around. He said his friends did it as a joke because she was (unattractive) but they didn't realise what she was.

He said she's been seen driving around the place she knows he lives.

This was about 5 years ago we've been together almost 4.

He said he always replied saying oh he can't he's working. But trying to keep her sweet so she didn't get worse. He said years ago he screenshot her messages and sent them to friends and things got worse and she accused him of drink driving, drugs etc etc.

And after what happened to her ex he was scared. Well they say he didn't hit her. But she played victim. From the article I read it seems he did do what he was accused of.

If it was just him giving his story of events I would not believe him at all, it makes no sense. But from her reaction is what makes me believe him. Really odd. Surely she would tell me if there was more to the story?

OP posts:
12345kbm · 27/03/2020 20:17

This is stalking. Please contact the National Stalking Helpline
Telephone: 0808 802 0300
Monday to Friday, 9:30am to 4pm (except Wednesday 1pm to 4pm)

Also take a look at Afraidofsomeone.

MikeUniformMike · 27/03/2020 20:18

Do not message or phone her. Block her number on your phone.
Tell DP to keep the messages as they will be proof of blackmail/stalking.

12345kbm · 27/03/2020 20:18

Sorry, Scaredofsomeone.

Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 20:20

Honestly I know his side sound odd. And I would think the same.

It was her and after saying not to stop contact she kept putting "LOL,LOL,LOL" like just very unstable

OP posts:
Therebythedoor · 27/03/2020 20:20

Why not tell her she is harassing him. But speak to the police first. Get it on record.

Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 20:21

I've already blocked her on it. Just have to wait if normal messages come through. Instead of the weird ringing

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 27/03/2020 20:21

She sounds like a nightmare & he has kept it quiet so as not to risk your relationship. If he was interested in her then he would have got together with her 5 years ago. It sounds like she's backed him into a corner and he doesn't know how to get out of it.

Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 20:22

I messaged saying my boyfriend says your stalking him and she said "LOL strange maybe I must be" then kept putting lol until she then threatened that I dont stop contact. Thats when I realised

OP posts:
EarlGreyT · 27/03/2020 20:22

I think he is lying
They never even spoke in person she was just amongst them. After the pub meeting is when the messages started.

How would she have his phone number if she has never spoken to him?

Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 20:23

@converseandjeans exactly, it is hard for it to make sense he keeps saying its embarrassing to go the police and say your scared of a girl. Shame that men still think this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 20:24

@EarlGreyT apparently his friends did it as a joke as I said above. That she was a unattractive joke to them. At first.

OP posts:
Reallynowdear · 27/03/2020 20:30

He's lying, otherwise he would not have deleted the messages.

Original poster
Mummyzzz044 · 27/03/2020 20:31

Snapchat deleted them automatically unfortunately.

OP posts:
Isitsixoclockalready · 27/03/2020 20:41

Normally something like that would sound well dodgy but her reaction does seem to support his side of it. TBF, it's not something that you'd want to tell someone about when you've just started going out with them - it would sound weird. She does sound incredibly persistent.

Haggisfish · 27/03/2020 20:44

Record it and go to police.

RLEOM · 27/03/2020 21:26

There's a reason she's harassing him. Why would she have a reason to go psycho bitch on him if feelings weren't involved? Unless you're teenagers? They can be pretty unhinged.