Sorry but what the fuck.

[Mummyzzz044]

Where do I start?.

Me and my partner in bedroom and i could see his snapchat open and a pretty long message, men being men they usually have one sentence convo, so being nosey I was like who's that? He said his friend "Josh and clicked off the convo.

So by his face I could tell it was not Josh, asked to see. He keeps saying no looking awkward as fuck.

Eventually he shows me, conversation deleted. But it's a girl.

I lost my shit and after talking he told me it's a girl who will NOT leave him alone. Keeps saying if he doesnt meet her that she will report him for things he hasn't done.

Me thinking bullshit messages her, asking was it true, now thats when things got really weird and she said no they are friends, and that I better not try and stop her from contacting him. That she will find our house and come see him because they are friends.

So I just said that's strange and if I'm honest believe him.

Now his phone has been ringing continuously for hours on private number and when he answers you can just hear breathing down the phone. Not saying anything.

I'm scared now, I believe him. Hes a very decent lad usually, lying to my face was a shock but we have a very happy relationship. So cheating never crossed my mind it was the awkwardness that made me question it.

He says him and his friends met her years ago at their local pub, They never even spoke in person she was just amongst them. After the pub meeting is when the messages started. Years ago!! He said she goes quiet for 3 months then starts again. He said he will get his friends here to confirm.

I'm actually terrified of who she is.

If he hasn't told you about this "problem" already, then he doesn't see you as a partner. And I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't see me as a complete life partner. So that's why I would leave the relationship.

It's really weird. I can see why you believe him, but also why he might be telling lies.

It does sound a plausible story and people do act in ridiculous ways sometimes and don't do the most obvious thing like blocking her.

If he had a fling with her before he met you why not admit it? That would make more sense re the stalking. If someone was stalking me I wouldn't block them because the silence would be more scary. I'd rather try to keep them believing I was a friend, rather than someone antagonistic they could ramp it up with. So I can see your bf's point of view.

If he is happy to go with you to the police then I would believe him.

This girl’s weirdness doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth. Lying, deleting messages and not blocking someone whose stalking him a year before you got together sounds dodgy as hell. I bet he’s going to avoid following through on contacting the Police.

Why doesn't your partner just change his phone number?

Threaten to call the police and see if he admits to a affair
Or let her call and listen in. I mean deal with it and confront it why drag it out
Unless your that bored?!

She sounds weird and full on and possibly not the full ticket. However your boyfriend sounds as though he’s enjoying the attention and is leading her on.

He could just block her. If she’s that much of a nuisance why hasn’t he?

On another note, his friends gave her his number as a joke, because she was unattractive? What a vile bunch of immature dicks. Why is your boyfriend not more choosy about his friends...is he also nasty about women? I hope they all look like male models. It's usually insecure men who laugh at stuff like that....

It doesn't make any sense
He could have just blocked her years ago if she bothered him. I don't like this idea that she lied so well that someone was sent to prison for hitting her either, doesn't seem at all likely and shows you he thinks women lie about domestic abuse. Nice. His friends sound like dicks as well.

Apparently he wanted to anticipate her move. Know where she was or what she was planning.

But every few weeks popping up asking to meet and eventually getting bored doesn't sound too horrendous stalking to me, not horrendous enough to just mention it!!

I can see all your points of views and I'm still processing it and fighting with him about it, story not changing.

OP I know how it feels to have a lunatic threatening you through messages online. Call the police,that's the only solution. To me she sounds mentally ill.
I go through this even now just because my husband when he was 19yo had a night stand with an older bitch in her late 30s and apparently she fell "in love" and since then she is messaging,calling,stalking..being abusive.
I'm so sorry you're going through this,make sure you save all the messages and phone calls as proof.
Good luck!

My snapchat messages delete auto too, apparently you go in setting to make them last longer but I'm not really sure.

@malcusdacus thank you for the advise. I know some people must think I look stupid, perfectly understandable I would on the outside. When it first started I was like no way, then her reactions and calls showed it immediately, she scared me straight away never mind years of it. I still can't get my head round that part, yes he says he liked to know where he stood with her but still it sounds so simple to me.

But then I haven't been harassed. I'm just so angry at him for keeping it to himself.

It also sounds awful what you have been through, I can't imagine going through that for so long. Have you ever took it further?. There really is some mentally ill people in this world, seems like anything could tip them over the edge.

I've blocked her now just not sure how to block the actual number I will have a look, can you block when they are private calling 😒.

And as for changing the number yea I would think it would be that simple, he says he has had the same number since he was very young, he's self employed and it's how he gets work and didn't want to change it for that reason. I don't know. Just feeling sad today.

Looks like him and his dick friends messed with the wrong girl.

It’s not the frequency of the messages OP, it’s unhinge she sounds to him and you, she fact she is trying to know where he lives and and driving through the area looking for him, threatening. Can’t get more stalkerish than that.

Why don’t you both change phone numbers (on top of contacting the police)?

Regardless of his story, you really want rid of her now.

I was going to say exactly what @lolalovesroses said. My guess is that he’s had a one night stand, brief relationship or affair and she’s gone psycho on him. This happened to an ex of mine (that’s why he’s an ex). He had a one night stand and she spent the next few years stalking him. You have no idea how unhinged some people are.

How were you able to verify that she put her partner in prison?

Was her name as a DV victim in the press?

Does he have copies (or do any of the friends) of the mad texts he forwarded to them?

Does he know where she lives?

Does she know where he works?

The most important thing we did was taking all the proof we gathered to the police and have a restriction order, I stopped responding to her messages 5 years ago.
We also contacted her parents/family to explain the situation and how serious it was/is.
Unfortunately I still receive few "unknown" messages on Facebook but I have them saved in case I want to take this further with my lawyer.
The entire situation is a mess,annoying and exhausting to be honest but I know that my husband is a victim in all this and that lady needs a psychiatrist.🙄

Her name was in the article. Basically says her boyfriend tried to gain access to the property with a weapon and she has an head injury. The man went to prison for it. Who knows. I believe it. Surely the police would have enough evidence to send him down. Maybe she likes those types of relationships and its normal to her.

They met her in the local pub. Shes rumoured to be living close. She doesnt know our house but just the area. He said he's never told her about me. And now she knows he's concerned. But the calls have stopped now.

I'm going to keep an eye on it. But sadly I do not trust him now. I can't be one of those girlfriends that worry everytime his phone goes off.

As far as I know the screenshots were right at the beginning and no idea if his friends still have them. I'm guessing not.

Ridiculous.

She doesn’t know where he lives. Blocking her would have solved all of this “stalking” from the get go.

I know people can be stalked and I know it’s serious and frightening.

But this? The simplest of steps could have nipped this in the bud years ago. So why didn’t he take them?

I agree with @Lolalovesroses I had a stalker, a real one. I didn't block him because he fucking terrified me and it was the only way I had any control over it. I was terrified if I blocked him or changed my number then he would literally glue my locks shut and burn my house down.

I got the police involved but he was no fixed address so they couldn't serve him with anything and tbh he wouldn't have cared anyway. He found out I had a partner (now DH) and then started to stalk and threaten him too.

I blocked him but he'd just put new SIM cards in his phone, eventually DH made me change my number (I'm self employed too) and it went on to social media (he'd just make new accounts) and email (and new email address every time I blocked one) I came off sm in the end and with absolutely no way to contact us he went away. But I've had the odd thing since so I know he's occasionally still around watching what I'm doing.

Due to my experiences I'd cautiously believe him OP, I did nothing to encourage my stalker, I'd also go to the police.

I don't have much pity for your partner. Sounds like he and his friends have been taking the piss out of her, for being 'unattractive' and a bit unhinged. It's like bear-baiting the reactive kid at school
And he could have blocked her at any time.

It sounds like you believe him OP, despite the majority of posters telling you it sounds like he’s lying.

If you are going to believe this story then you need to agree some actions on how to deal with this going forward.

I’d suggest he needs to be completely transparent and show you every single contact he has from this girl. He needs to screenshot all evidence of her stalking him in order to build up evidence if you need to get the police involved.

Also, her ex was sent to prison and she suffered a head injury, that isn’t something you can fake. There would have been medical evidence of the head injury. Think carefully about why your boyfriend has tried to portray her as someone who lies to get men into trouble.

I’d get him to call her on speaker phone so you can listen in. I think it will become pretty clear what is happening either with him refusing to call her or from the contents of the conversation.

Sorry OP, but this all sounds suspicious!

My ex always used snapchat when up to something he shouldn’t be. Why is this girl sending him long messages? Why didn’t he block her? Tread carefully!

One minute I believe, next minute I dont.

It makes me really really sad hearing all the poor people on here that have been stalked horrifically, this girl by the sounds of pops up every few weeks or months. Basically begs him to go out with her, threatened to say he's drink driving or drugs whatever. Then disappears again. Apart from the rumoured to be driving around. Maybe she has real mental issues and him messaging her back even if politely has encouraged her?. If it's TRUE that is.

Her behaviour last night was odd. No other way to describe it. But what I did notice last night was the contact in his phone was "name 'new' and I was like so you added her new number? In which he said he was keeping track of all the numbers shes used to contact him.

I dont know to be honest. Does he come across believable yes, does the story make sense, absolutely not.

Snapchat is most people way of going about things discreetly

I don't want to be one of those naive silly girls believing him when everyone is so clearly telling me bullshit. But I can't help but feel there is truth in there.