Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Will be hard if DD goes to EH and I can’t go out anywhere because of lockdown would usually meet friends go on dates etc oh well nevermind

@shitwithsugaron how did she get tested out of interest ?

Just confirmed on Today programme that it's fine to move kids around between estranged parents.

How can moving children between households and environments possibly be ok? I live with my parents and my children. My parents are 75 and in poor health. If my two went to their father and returned how on earth would I know what they’d picked up? My ex was complaining of being hot the last weekend they saw him..lots of contradictory advice.

We'll clearly @Tribeandvibes75 your personal situation is different. They can't give individual instructions you have to use common sense.

For a lot if people inc me ExH and I have shared contact (60/40) we both live alone and will be staying at home, he lives less than 5 mins away. There's no risk to anyone in changing over.

Hi all
Still here with my doom and gloom

I am having to work from home because I am NHS and I cannot let my colleagues down and the situation is horrendous for them all. Although I am ill myself many are as well and we are all KOKO

I have struggled with my emotions the past few days and no one else to talk to or feel like they understand (not true I know). CV is literally 24/7 for me that is how it feels. I am a COVID crisis response ops manager now, so it’s 24/7 texts and calls and it’s all on the news and social media I never get away from it ever. I woke up this morning and for a few moments everything felt normal. And then it wasn’t normal anymore

Mr M popped back up and I said I was struggling, he said anything I can do? I said yes some support would be great. Poof vanished again. I know he is fucking useless why did I even bother

My DD’s are staying home with me for a few weeks I think

I would like them to see their Dad and their Dad is getting right grumpy about it but absolutely petrified my ageing parents could contract this. Perhaps I’ll suggest a Skype until we are clear about what’s possible. He’s threatening court action which is completely unhelpful and yet more stress

@Menora that's unsustainable. I really feel for you.

Maybe we should start a zoom evening meet. I'm going to be so lonely.

Not helped by the fact that mr U and I had a bicker a few days ago which resulted in admitting we're still in love with each other and we were going to see each other two evenings and do something we both like dayside.

Clearly that's all off. Not important in the grand scale of things but...

Yes @Tribeandvibes75 your situation is different to most so I think no contact with your DC's dad while you are living with vulnerable people is wise.

I'n the same as @unambiguousbeard in that both me and their dad are working from home and live alone (well, my bf is staying with me at the moment but has been here over a week and is working from home too) and their dad lives a mile away so risks are much lower.

I think there has to be an element of cooperation and thought, yes. Sadly their Dad is being awkward. It’s not forever we might hope. My new online iron has offered to bring over big roll. Romance forever eh..😅

Bog roll..😂

I haven't managed to see my iron/BF for 3 weeks now because of children and Covid. He's in hospital for and emergency operation today. I can't talk to anyone irl because we still haven't gone public.

I'm pretty worried and have nowhere else to vent.

I'm also waiting to see if I get the text saying I need to shield for 12 weeks. All in all I'm quite stressed.

@JaggySplinter, that sounds really difficult for you. You must be worried about him and feeling pretty isolated. Is there no one IRL that you could confide in for a bit of support? Is there a reason that no one knows that you are seeing someone? Hopefully you will feel a little easier once you know he has come through the operation.

@Menora, we are all deeply grateful for all your hard work and the sacrifices you and everyone in the NHS is making on our behalf You must be feeling totally drained. I imagine that this plus being poorly coming on top of a bumpy time with Mr M has left you feeling utterly drained and strung out. Hopefully you have people that you can turn to for some support, even if we're constrained to just talking and texting at the moment. Mr M is probably consumed by things in his own life. I wouldn't expect anything from him ATM but instead look to those I knew I could rely upon. And I have DDs roughly the same age as you, I know that they can try us but I am grateful that they are here. Definitely.

I haven't seen MrC for a week, and now we've agreed not to see each other until after the lockdown is lifted. We'll be spending our 1 year anniversary apart ☹ He's still working and I'm working from home and looking after DD, so we don't want to to risk it. She'll still go to her dads a couple of times a week - he lives alone and isn't having contact with anyone either and we both drive so no walking or public transport risks. It's going to make for a lonely few weeks for sure, but if it keeps us and others safe for a bit longer it's a small sacrifice in the long term.

Thanks all
I have spoken to a friend who is also a doctor and she is sick right now she also isn’t front line and she is feeling worse than me with guilt. It is just the worst feeling and I can’t expect Mr M to understand or know what to do, it’s just me lashing out and it’s really unhealthy

I feel better now 😂

@Menora we aren't there irl but I can dm you my number of you need to call someone who does understand. I'm not Frontline but I'm medical (and under 12 weeks of shielding any time now I think). I really appreciate everything you are doing.

@Onesmallstep67 - abusive ex, taking things slow, children don't know I'm seeing anyone, but I could tell a family member.

Thanks.

Thanks. I wrote that post this morning after getting off a group call about body bags cremation forms and no PPE. Sometimes it is good to talk. You can PM me your number!

DD2 has got no school work to do, she has literally NOTHING to do until September
I have tried to motivate her but I am miserable so not much use

Any suggestions for 15yo with all lost hope?

Hello Menora. What are your daughter’s normal time interests?

@LukeSkywalkingOnTheseHaters I'm 26 nearly 27 so if you would like I will have a look at your profile. Not sure how much help I will be

My ex texted out of the blue today apologising for how he has treated me. Urgh. I do not need this right now. I'm tempted to give up on men. I did see my iron on the weekend but who knows when I will see him again now!

@Tribeandvibes75

She is an artist, she loves art. But she is very down at never getting to do her ‘final piece’. She has been told to finish her other bits so she will do that and is going to do some art projects but other than that she has no homework or study