Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I've never mastered crochet. Maybe I should learn now
I'm reluctant to get rid of my stash but no idea what to do with it.
Although I have made some hearts to go to some of the hospital Covid wards

@nicelegs I liked your profile a lot FWIW but I don't know how many men would read something that long. Mine is very short and half the people who contact me haven't even read that! But I suppose if you are sorting out the wheat from the chaff it is a good test to see if they can be arsed!

Also agree with what @MrDrummer said about things becoming a test to see who can be the most acerbic. My very first iron on POF was quite witty and we escalated the caustic banter until when I met him I found him exhausting and realised I'd done it to myself by trying to outdo him in chat 😂 I hadn't the energy for a second date, it felt like I was auditioning for a particularly gladiatorial Radio 4 panel show.

Also agree on spelling and grammar. To be honest if you have high standards and aren't really bothered about volume I'd go with it though, and you definitely don't look like a man!! I really like your photo.

Having said that, after all my lukewarm dates with men who ticked all my boxes profile-wise (education/similarjob/politics/interests/proximity) Mr Beard, the iron I ended up falling for like a ton of bricks practically from the first date is someone who has none of those things (though he is very smart and can spell at least!) Plus he has an insane amount of personal baggage, and I worry about that as did not want anybody complicated. I think I was a bit drunk when I swiped on him. We have almost nothing in common. There is absolutely no accounting for chemistry.

Anyway, hope you all enjoy this sunny day. I shall be mostly asleep in a hammock.

@EchoElephant I'm better at crochet than knitting. I'm all out of ideas and inspiration at the moment aswell. Struggling with motivation to get most things done

Happy anniversary Simon

Dancer these are the knitted hearts that I've been making.
They can be crocheted as well.
If you wanted something different to make and use up some wool

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-wiltshire-52165537/laura-kirby-deacon-says-the-hearts-will-help-those-who-lose-loved-ones

I read through all profiles that I'm thinking of swiping on as a matter of course and don't mind length either. Of course when eyes meet across a room there's no profile attached to that ... but in just flicking photos on a screen we've lost so much of the social context that leads to two people being in the same room. I like to think the profile provides the ways in which a conversation could get started in the absence of that context.

I think the men on this thread are of a generally higher quality than many on OLD though @HairyArsedMan, as your thoughtful post shows. I bet your opening messages aren't limited to 'Hey babes' either!

Mine are all ‘what are you watching lately’ or saying something gushing about the NHS 😂

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace personally I wouldn't read past the first condescending paragraph, there are too many fish in the sea to not draw very quick conclusions whilst swiping left or right. Any kind of negativity, instructions, disillusionment, condescension, draws a quick left swipe from me. Which simply means I'm not your target audience, so it's doing its intended job

@SimonJT congrats on the anniversary, that's a lot of boxes ticked in the 1st year even if they weren't intended 😂

Thanks to those who commented regarding my last post on MissH. It's a conversation that's been put on the back burner until things get back to normal and therefore may never happen so not worth worrying about tbh. We're in touch as friends and I'm happy with that.

Thanks @Ant330 It's working, then.

Pretty sure I'd be left swipng on you too

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace I think to attract the men you want, don't insult them and don't give instructions. Noone is attracted by that and I discount any profiles from men that are like that - regardless of how everything else I may find attractive. And you do sound like a really fun and interesting person but even as a friend I would find you a bit scary and defensive, which is a shame.

If you don't want to find someone then simply don't bother, but if you do, create a short, eloquent and witty profile to attract the men you want.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace too long and so aggressive and defensive. Why start off like that? Who would bother trying to get to know someone who is already chippy?

@SimonJT happy anniversary

@Ant330 yeah she's probably bored and full of regrets based on nothing.

@Eesha glad he replied. I think sometimes if you leave it a bit long you get stuck in who is going to break the silence so well done.

@Musti You'd like me. I'm not in the remotest bit scary and I'm a really good friend

I'm just passing a bit of time on the dating site, that's all. Needs must in these strange times.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve with your profile
It's well written and says what many people are thinking, but it's also very negative.
And whenever I see a profile that has a list of "don't contact me if.." or "I'm fed up of..." etc, then it's an automatic no thanks from me. Because I would be too scared to say the wrong thing, even if I thought I was a good match.
There's one on POF called "Liars pass me by". He looks like someone I would normally message but his username means there is no way I would contact him.

If someone sends me a message, I'll generally give them the benefit of the doubt and have a look at their profile. If they're not for me then I just ignore the message or send a polite no thanks, then move on.

Profiles should just give a short insight into the sort of person you are. The rest you can find out through messages and meeting

Well I seem to have the virus. Have had all symptoms since Monday. It's not too bad but I know it can suddenly tip over into being really bad after 5 or so days. ExH is dropping the kids off later. He grudgingly agreed to have them last night when I told him I'd soaked the sheets. Dd2 still comes into my beds most (every bloody) nights. I assume that's why I was feeling so low as there's nearly always a physiological reason with me.

No idea where I got it from, probably supermarket last week. Luckily we have plenty of food in but I have had to explain in words of one syllable to exH that no he can't go to the shops for 14 days. Or take the DDs on a bike ride. We are acting as one household.

I wish I could knit or crochet... she says wistfully... or craft in any way whatsoever

@UtterSocks sounds like me mr g on paper I would not go for at all. But he is smart and handsome and can spell.

@echoelephant I made the mistake once of chatting to someone whose user name was thisdoesntwork. 4 messages in he sent me a dick pic

Oh sorry to hear that @unambiguousbeard. Hope your symptoms stay mild. Surely your ex should keep the kids until you feel better? You aren’t going to be up to looking after them and should be limiting contact with them and resting as much as possible anyway!

@unambiguousbeard. Agree with @uttersocks though your ex should keep the kids. There is every chance they don’t have it so better to keep them away, plus if you are feeling rough you won’t want to be looking after them.
If they are self isolating without symptoms they are still allowed out for exercise every day though.
My DB had it, isolated in one room as soon as tested positive and none of his family (DW and 4DC) caught it....

Yes exactly. I shouldn't be looking after the kids. But it has never worked like that. He's just dropped them round 2 hours before I said he could. He's a shit. His argument is he has to work to support us all financially. Which is true but if I get really ill with it (which I doubt) then he'll have no choice.

I'm staying in bed though and I'll order a takeaway for dinner for them.

I've had two colds in this lockdown and enhanced hygiene period @unambiguousbeard and the only social 'fun' I've had is going to the shops (which I now dress up for).. It just goes to show how dangerous the shops are. I hope you don't suffer any complications. Completely agree that your husband ought to manage with the kids for a few more days until your fever subsides at least and if he's selfish to reduce the risk to him too in the exchange. Once you have the kids back and are well enough, you're all going to be isolated anyway so it'll be a while before the usual rhythm is re-established.

I’m sorry @unambiguousbeard, 💐 I hope you feel better soon.

Have your fun wasting people’s time @NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace I guess we’re all doing that to a greater or lesser extent but managing to do so without being arrogant. Actually, come to think of it, the CAs I know are being kept pretty busy by the crisis affecting all of us so perhaps you could be doing something more useful with your time?

I agree with @TigerDater about the time wasting. I'm actually wondering if @NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace us a troll. Thinking we shouldn't give anymore oxygen

Hi
Can I ask on here who has tried POF snd has had any luck ? I am considering it I was on it a few years ago and met someone for a short while but I have been messed around a lot and am weary on going back into OLD?
Also are people actually chatting now with not knowing when they can meet ? In the normal world it’s best not to have a build up but I guess it can’t be avoided at this time

@unambigousbeard

No, she's a long-term poster but please feel free to ignore me

You may find it long and chippy; others like it. At the risk of repeating myself: 'you can please some some of the people all of the time ..........'