Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Not really much to report from me. Haven't heard from Mr Army today but he is most probably busy with work. Heard from him every day so not too worried that I haven't heard from him today.
My seedlings are growing well and most have been repotted to bigger pots. I have run out of wool for a blanket I was making and don't want to pay for delivery on a £2.00 ball of wool so will wait until shops are open. Will start a new project to use up some other wool.
I have managed to cut 3 minutes off my time for 10km cycling and the scales have gone down slightly. I'm determined to fit in all my nice dresses again.
De-cluttered my makeup today, going to replenish it with brands I like and things I will actually use. Have banned myself from buying more red lipstick though as it would take me a life time to get through the red lipsticks I have.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace As a member of your target audience I laughed but I fear that the characteristics you seek (quirky, smart, educated guys) are buried beneath all the instructions (which those guys won’t need).

The just looking at the pictures numbers game crowd aren’t going to pay attention to the words and will still message you dumb crap anyway.

Maybe lead with the Pogues references and what you’re looking for ? Then who you are, likes/dislikes ?

@Menora, @Myfabby, @SimonJT @Jane1978xx Im not sure what to do. Could text good morning tmw or could just leave it. I messaged last on Monday anyway so really the onus is on him I feel.

The annoying thing was before, he mentioned about not ghosting, that he would hate that, and would want to be treated with some respect/decorum yet this feels exactly what's not happening to me!

@SimonJT happy anniversary! I picture you and Mr NN like the couple in Years and Years (Russell Tovey and the other handsome one)

@eesha I never really go on who sent the last message as it was just the end of that convo. As long as you aren’t sending 3 or 4 what you up to ? Messages in a row I think it’s fine. Just send a v casual how are you ? Maybe say you’ve been busy or something too.

@Jane1978xx i agree, it's just he could also message me which he isn't doing.....I just don't want to be taken for a fool.

Awww @SimonJT love that post! A proper real view of a relationship and its random niggles, but triumphing over the differences, and you and Mr NN (and mini SJT) sound like a,winning combo. And also maybe one day inspiration for an HBO sitcom! 😊

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace As with my good friend HairyArsed, I think I am probably your target audience. If I was to read that, I would read it all the way through and specifically make reference to something close to the end so you knew that I had read it. I am bloody-minded like that. Having said that, if you continued to speak like that in chat, it would be a no-no for me. If I just wanted to be abused, I would have stayed married, etc. (actually a widow, but you get my drift). If I stuck around, it could be a case of a competition on who can be the most withering/acerbic.

Additionally, I think it should be shorter; it will still have the effect you are after.

One additional thing, I started out on OLD with the apostrophe/grammar thing but these days it doesn't bother me that much any more. I think when I got my profile reviewed, it was specifically pointed out that it was a bit patronising. I worded it differently, even, saying something like I know the difference between there, they're and their.

Ok all, I bit the bullet and went with the flirty good morning message and got an immediate sexy good morning message back.....I suspect it's going to be simple sexy pleasantries till this lockdown ends but I think that should do for me!

@eesha glad he came back with the message. I hate that waiting and 99% of the time it’s fine x

@SimonJT Didn’t read past the homophobic language

Ach, catch yourself on. It's an incredibly famous song lyric, tis all!

@MrDrummer

Thanks. My truth? It's meant to be funny. It's just a bit of light relief to lighten the situation that we find ourselves in. And maybe an opportunity to chat to some new people. In normal times, I don't need that. I tend to dip in and out of OLD for that reason every now and then.

I'm not looking for any sort of committed relationship. I work (when we're in the office) surrounded by very young, very attractive, very clever men and so I'm pretty well catered for in that department.

I'm trying, and failing, to get over the grammar thing. It's just a really unattractive and lazy trait to me. I'm fine with typos and genuine mistakes but lazy and sloppy? No!

I'm always up front when I'm chatting. I never lead anyone to believe that I'm looking for something that I'm not. I'm on there to pass the time and lighten the mood, yes. But I don't lead people on in the pursuance of my own amusement.

Anyway, glad you laughed

@HairyArsedMan

Thank you too

The reference to being female comes from being asked, on more than one occasion, whether I was born male. I'm an androgynous looking woman, granted. I have a gender neutral first name too, but seriously?

I think that it's pretty easy to tell that I'm female. But I'm prepared to be told otherwise

I’d never heard that song lyric nicelegs, you do make a lot of assumptions about others but object to assumptions made about you? You definitely look female and full of life, not sure putting a photo of yourself on this open forum is your best move though.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace i can see where you are coming from, you come across super smart. I just think men in general don't tend to read lengthy profiles really, however witty. It's definitely very confusing for us all out there! Good luck!!

We have been talking about how many men are insufferably dull on OLD so I can see why you would want to weed out all of those ones I just worry that actually a profile like yours may attract people who enjoy goading you and arguing to annoy you in an unhealthy way. Even I have had people sending me irritating crap to take the piss out of me. Keeping it light is usually best, I wouldn’t want to tell people so much about myself all in one go.

Iron wise I have a few chats but not heard back from phone date man which I don’t mind. I’m not excited about anyone yet but I am now looking forward to going out on dates again it will be some new experiences I suppose and a distraction from how much I hate my job right now 😂

Happy anniversary @SimonJT! Are you doing anything nice? Going out for a nice romantic meal...? 😂😭

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace I quite liked your profile from a female and feminist point of view but not sure how many men will ‘get it’ in the same way. Sounds like you’re not too bothered though!
And I think you definitely look like a woman.

I think my OLD profiles said I like Prosecco, cats and dancing 🤣. I thinks it’s all about meeting people in person. I spoke to someone for months and thought he was perfect for me and met him and nooo way. Then my bf now had nothing on his profile and we just got chatting and met as we live close and got on amazing although if id read a profile on him I would have disregarded him.

@Jane1978xx i had a similar experience, chatted to someone for ages thinking we were a great match then met and thought no way! Definitely worth meeting sooner and not depending on profiles!

@TigerDater

"You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot"? I'm exceptionally flattered that you think that I came up with that myself: I really don't have a quarter of the genius

I'm not entirely sure what assumptions I'm making about others but, having said that, we all make assumptions to a certain extent I guess.

I don't particularly object to assumptions made about me. However, if the men on OLD have any inkling that I was born male, I think that there are better ways to explore that than to ask: 'So, were you born male?'

My photo has been posted on here many times. It was necessary to get the point across. I really can't see the issue. I'm happy for anyone to see who I am and read what I've posted. I'm not a keyboard warrior: I speak my truth. But thanks for the concern.

@Sunshineandflipflops Thanks: it's just a bit of fun. But our senses of humour are wide and varied, so I can see that it may offend some. Twas never my intention But you know: 'You can please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time ........

Also, the last profile I read stated that he was currently: "masterbating [sic] lots, due to the lock down'. I mean, aren't we all but .... jeez

SimonJT Happy anniversary. If you can survive this lockdown together, you can survive anything. Sounds like a great relationship

Dancerinthemoonligh are you knitting your blanket? I've rediscovered my knitting stash but I'm not sure what to do with it.

Eesha glad you heard back from him. My irons are a bit hit and miss right now. And so am I. But I'll just see who's still around when we're finally let out to play

@echoelephant I was crocheting it. I have a stash of different coloured wools that I don't know what to do with. My go to when I don't know what to do with something is to make a blanket but I have done so many of them now.