Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@TheCatWithTheHat I think she just wants attention as was feeling low.

What question do you need answering from Miss H, she wants to see you afterwards so isn't that what counts?

Still no word from MrHotandYoung since Monday night. I've been ghosted right?.....

I think I'd just like to know where she sees us going - she's just come out of a fairly long marriage, so I could understand it if she just wants a bit of fun and nothing too serious. So far we've only ever planned ahead to the following date, but it would be nice to know if she sees a potential for anything developing a bit longer term. Although at the moment, that all seems a long way away :(

@Eesha had you and Mr Hot and young met IRL before lockdown? It's maybe just a case of struggling with keeping contact up during lockdown when none of us know how long it'll go on ? I have started various conversations with guys on Tinder but just can't be bothered to pursue anything as it's going to be so difficult to maintain. Is he your only iron at the moment?

@Onesmallstep67 No, just emailing and texting every day for about 3 weeks now. It's just banter. But I got a bit used to it. We had talked about meeting etc when all was done. But nothing since Monday eve. I don't want to chase really even though it's annoying me.

@TheCatWithTheHat I think you are going to have to be patient and see how things are when you meet back up with Miss H. I wouldn't go as far as to say we are all going to be changed by what's currently happening but its effects are going to be felt for some time yet. You're staying in touch and she has said that she wants to pick things back up when we can so for the moment that's the best you might get. From the way you describe her she's clearly not someone for making big statements about her feelings ( so far).

@Eesha, it's always nice ( and particularly at the moment ) to have a good rapport with someone and obviously you've been prevented from meeting by CV. Have you made contact since Monday evening? Maybe send a text tonight just checking if everything/he is okay. I think for most people at the moment a dropping off of contact is most likely just a by product of the restrictions and impact of CV

@Onesmallstep67 i contacted him Monday morning and we messaged through the day. Then nothing since that evening. I might message him tomorrow morning but I kinda feel like I'm chasing a bit. But I'm bored and it was fun to at least regularly have a natter....

Yep - I'm confident we'll meet up once this is over, and we speak virtually every day, with the occasional phone or video date call. She's quite a tough cookie though, so doesn't seem to be one for displaying her emotions.

I also need to remember that she hasn't seen her kids for a while, so I can't expect to be her number one priority either - this is a first for me, as I've never dated anyone with children before, so I need to get used to that too.

I think this whole lockdown is starting to get to me now - I've been quite positive up to now, but I think this thing with Miss Confusing has just knocked me back and everything seems a bit rubbish. Especially with all the news about care homes at the moment, which is worrying as one of my parents lives in one.

My online dating profile for critique. Too harsh? Seems to keep the men at bay, leaving me to be happily single while assuring my friends that I am trying (cos I need a man, don't I?)
__

Do me a favour, chaps: read the profile — ALL OF IT — before asking any questions. Chances are that I've covered it: I'm smart like that 😛

First things first: in the world of OldSlutOnJunk this place is just like any other place: the coffee bar, the pub, the gym. If you wouldn't say it to me there, don't say it to me here. You're smart: you get the picture!

Second things second: I don't know how my friends would describe me and, quite frankly, I don't much care. If they don't like me, they are free to move on: I wouldn't want to be somewhere that I'm not wanted. The key thing at the end of each day is how I describe myself. If I like what I'm describing, cool; if not, then there's work to be done tomorrow.

Glad we got that sorted. Now onto the good stuff.

I'm nobody's wife; And I'm nobody's baby; I like it that way; But then again, maybe .....

Just 50 (fuck it, I've actually just turned 53 now — updated April 2020), fit, educated, solvent, professional, FEMALE (for the blind wankers who really can't tell 🤦), old slut on junk seeks a scumbag, a maggot, a cheap lousy faggot. Failing that, a lazy, feckless, controlling, insincere, misogynistic, knuckle dragging wanker will do. In the words of Delia: 'Where are you? Let's be 'avin yer'. I can see that I have my work cut out; you're all hard working, respectful, laid back, genuine, modern men. Yeah, right! 😲

I'm a slightly 'quirky' professional (chartered accountant). My hair is shaved and (often) multi-coloured and I have a couple of very cute facial piercings. I'm definitely not the sort of girl you take home to meet your mum (or the vicar): forty years of standing on the terraces makes the language WAAAY too colourful.

So I'm vaguely androgynous looks wise, yet surprisingly conventional in other ways. I go to the gym (a lot); you should see the body work — my biceps are likely much better than yours; go to the theatre; eat out with my friends and go down the footie on a Saturday. Normal, everyday stuff, see?

I'm feisty and independent (single a LONG time); referring to me as 'sexy', 'babe' or 'gorgeous' in your opening gambit is a big mistake. Big. HUGE!

I'm not talking about my goals and aspirations: I'm not at work now FFS!!!!

Music? Yes, it exists. We play it in the office and I like some of it.

OK, I don't care about the labels on your gear, or what car you drive. After all: 'The girls might fall for everything you've got; But I'm not one of 'em; You know I'm not'. But ..... I'm a huge fan of the English language, so if your messages consist of: 'Hi, wot u up 2?' and you wouldn't recognise an apostrophe if it sauntered over and asked if you wanted to dance, just swipe left and save us both the heartache. Grammar? It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit! Oh and ..... if you do decide to message me then please come up with something more interesting and original than either 'Hi there, how's your day?' (sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze) or 'Blade or Owl?' (neither, actually). I've got 500 unanswered messages just like that. If you can't be bothered, well neither can I.

And here's another helpful hint. Don't ask me what I do for a living. I've already stated that I'm a chartered accountant. I'm not likely to lie about that, am I? 🙆

Things I like: quirky, smart, educated men; my job; watching the footie; watching the snooker; working out at the gym; running; going to the theatre; 1980s revival gigs; coffee in my favourite cafe; eating out; the spa; sassy nails; funky hair; other stuff to be revealed once I know you better.

Things I don't like: walking in the bloody countryside; driving; entertaining at home (going out is the new going out); watching a box set with a bottle of red (it's not happening: going out is STILL the new going out); takeaway food; tomatoes (food of Satan); cakes/biscuits/chocolate/bread (or, at least, the effect thereof!); shopping; Ikea; fancy gadgets; social media; reality TV; many other things — I'll add them on as they come to me :-)

Snippy? Moi? You betcha! But you know what? Underneath the snippy exterior is a really nice woman. There again, I would say that wouldn't I?

There you go. What else do ya wanna know????

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace, my first reaction is how articulate and sharp you are in what you have written. You're giving prospective dates loads of insight into your personality and attributes. I wish I had half of your skill. It is quite extensive though and only a relatively small amount of guys are going to read all of that and feel by the end of it they are what you are looking for. I'd imagine that some would think they wouldn't know how to get in with you. In the nicest possible sense you sound a very strong woman with a fairly fixed opinion of yourself.

@Onesmallstep67 Thank you. I appreciate that. You've worked me out spot on. Pity the guys on OLD can't

If I'm being honest, I'm probably happier single but ..... I'm prepared to have my mind changed

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace i think you've written it really well but I think you'll struggle with men reading it/taking it seriously. Shame really as you sound cool!

nicelegs I don’t have testicles but whatever I do have shrivelled up when I read all that! It’s brilliantly written and funny but think about your audience when communicating. I can’t see anyone reading all that or feeling anything other than intimidated. And maybe a bit annoyed at how didactic you are. Sorry.

I agree that I think it is brilliant but possibly too long. I like a solid snapshot of someone to base my impressions on but not too long

I had a phone date tonight it lasted about 30 minutes. He was nice and we got along but he ended the call saying he had to go but let’s speak again soon. Not heard from him again yet but that’s good as I don’t want someone over keen I would like to communicate on a normal even level. No other significant irons though they are all still 100% boring. I have matched over 100 men on Tinder and only have 1 decent conversation going WTF?

@Eesha
I’m not sure he is ghosting you, but I would feel the same that I wouldn’t want to send another message! Do you think you can wait it out and see?

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace

Hi, I think it’s way too long and reads as very intimidating. The use of CAPS, and saying wanker etc. Not attractive to me and a bit OTT, but I’m not a man so ...

@Eesha, I would wait it out - they always come round just when you’ve given up on them. Ping goes the phone!

Thanks all.

@Eesha: it isn't intended to be taken seriously, although it is completely accurate

@TigerDater if it annoys 'em, so be it. Plenty of the buggers have annoyed me over the years

Hi, I think it’s way too long and reads as very intimidating

Perfect. My work is done

That’s all very well nicelegs but are you actually wanting to meet a person or are you just aiming to intimidate people in general then never meet anyone then complain about it? That can be an amusing pastime but I would say you’re not going to achieve much really.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace
Wish you luck then, sounds like you are going to need lots of it x

Wish you luck then, sounds like you are going to need lots of it x

You'd be surprised

That’s all very well nicelegs but are you actually wanting to meet a person or are you just aiming to intimidate people in general then never meet anyone then complain about it? That can be an amusing pastime but I would say you’re not going to achieve much really.

I probably don't want to meet anybody. However, I remain open to having my mind changed. And .... I wasn't complaining

It does attract quite a lot of feedback. Keeps things interesting.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace Didn’t read past the homophobic language, before that disliked the shouting/swearing (despite shouting and swearing a lot myself ), so my brain focused on that rather than other things you had written.

@Menora and @Eesha Hopefully they’ll get back in touch, if not they’re the ones missing out.

MrNN and I think we may have met a year ago, we know it was sometime in April, but not the day, so we figured the 15th is halfway, that’s near enough.

So in a year we have survived

• meeting an ex and closest friend of mine
• no sex for four months (not entirely sure he has recovered from that)
• a rugby lads night out (he definitely hasn’t recovered)
• my cat weeing in his trainers the first night he stayed over
• meeting my son
• meeting my surrogate family
• a weekend away in Sweden/meeting his parents and little brother
• the shattaf demo 😂
• my constant talking about nothing
• living together during lockdown
• me saying “oh I love you too” and having to awkwardly take it back as I wanted to say “oh I love Zelda too” (the game)
• my bin man style hiviz coat, he loves me wearing it out and about especially when paired with sweat shorts 😂
• making him take vain cringe pictures of me for my PTs insta “quick I can’t strain anymore”
• discovering that he irons socks
• him having a better animal crossing village

If someone had said to either of us that in a years time we would be living together due to a global pandemic we would have both put them in the ‘nutty conspiracy’ box. There have been challenges and I’m sure there will be more, but I’m very very pleased I didn’t wimp out as I had intended to.

@Eesha I’d message him
But not asking what’s up more like just a hi. People have loads of people in touch with them at the moment along with their own worries and changes in routine

@SimonJT
Happy anniversary! Wish you lots more happiness . I actually iron socks myself - well I steam them . I steam everything !