Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I also agree about the media hype regarding social distancing. I'm on the park next to my house every day with the dog and everybody is adhering to the rules.
I expected the sunny weather would weaken people's resolve today but I haven't seen more than 2 people together all day.

Just where I live then 🙄 I see hordes of people walking dogs together. Amd barbecuing in one instance. I just give them a wide berth when I go for a run on the moors. Though our local residents group WhatsApp is rife with petty nimbyism, and people wanting to ring the police cos their neighbours went out twice in one day

One of our neighbours had their grown up kids and their school age kids come on a daily basis. Also teenage sons friends coming round.

In theory 2 isolated people couldn’t infect each other after 2 weeks but there’s stories of it being caught from shopping being delivered . Also we are supposed to be staying off the roads

I feel really uneasy about everything at the moment so keeping my head down in the house with dd.

We went for our walk and their were Gangs of kids in the shop car park 🤦‍♀️

Round here what are clearly families of 4 are walking around in pairs 😂 I may be wrong but I don't think that's necessary is it?
Makes me smile, I either think we're a very law abiding neighbourhood, or populated with people who don't understand the rules. But then neither do I so it's probably the latter 😂

Which dating apps are people using? I’ve previously used pof, tinder and bumble, was wondering if there was a newer one that anyone recommends?

@unambiguousbeard There is a video doing the rounds of a packed London Fields, we were there yesterday and it was virtually deserted.

Ah posted too soon.

The thing is so many people will believe any old shit on facebook, in tabloids etc. I noted the news tonight had a ‘complaint’ section about people not socially distancing, yet all their footage showed very sparsely populated parks.

I’m in London, and had to pop out to the shops today - not surprisingly there were quite a few people out, and while most were keeping their distance, not everyone was. There’s a small park next to where I live and as I walked through it I saw some community support officers telling sunbathers to move on. By the time I came back others had taken their place. Also a few groups of people together, including one family having a picnic. I had to drive yesterday evening, and was surprised at how many cars were still on the road.

It’s strange not knowing when I’ll get to see Miss H again - she’s in a high risk job, so won’t see her kids now until this is over, and it seems a bit selfish of me to worry about when I’ll get to see her again. But it’s still frustrating nonetheless. It’s been tempting to see her, as I’d mostly just be risking myself, but for now big head is in charge and ignoring small head

I'm often in London Fields @SimonJT

I do my hobby there. I really miss it. 😞

I'm finding social media quite scary at the moment tbh. There's a lynch mob mentality going on. Some people do need to exercise outdoors. And it is allowed. And some people love sitting indoors with the TV on. And they should let us exercise carefully in peace!

There seem to be a few fake photos doing the rounds.

Re dating. Errrrrrr nothing to report. Mr U and I message regularly. He'd like me to go over and see him. Of course I won't. He thought of me in a very sweet way today though. It's spring though and I really would like to put on some lipstick and a frock. And comb my hair. And get out of my joggers...

@unambiguousbeard the lynch mob mentality is scary, I dread to think where this will end.

I know what you mean about putting on some lipstick, I barely moisturise these days!

I’m having a Houseparty with three friends on Thursday, we’ll be wearing our best frocks and wearing makeup while drinking gin together. I’m so looking forward to wearing proper clothes again - it’s been weeks!

Obviously a video Houseparty. Please don’t dob me in!

I def think it's media hype so that we are more accepting of a harsher lockdown. I went for a walk yesterday and very few people out. On Saturday I went by he river which was reasonable busy. But everyone was keeping their distance.

Some of the threads on MN are horrific for people turning on each other and doing a misery competition. Made up rules. Glee at reporting neighbours.

I think it highlights how many people think facebook posts are the word of god.

It does make me worry about our average IQ...

It's also turning us on ourselves. Putting the blame at the hands of a neighbours son who has met his mates at the park. Not at the lack of testing. Tracking. PPE. Underfunding of the NHS.

It's exactly this @Notcoolmum Which is why I think it's deliberate. So when the number of deaths goes through the roof the govt can point the finger at the public not take responsibility for it themselves..

Completely agree about this nasty undercurrent that’s about, I’ve stopped reading any of it on MN as it’s vile and local Facebook posts aren’t much better! People are so quick to judge and claim the moral high ground.
I did laugh at myself in tescos this weekend, I’m obviously much more of a rule follower than I thought the one way arrows down the aisles threw me I couldn’t go down the empty aisle I needed as the arrow was the wrong way and even though the next aisle was crowded with people ignoring the one way system I waited until it was clear and went up and back down taking an easy extra 5 minutes than if I’d just nipped the wrong way down the aisle I needed!!
On a brighter note, things going nicely with mr chatty, he replied to a text last night to say he’d had a shit day, so we had a chat on the phone, it’s been a very very long time since I chatted with someone about my day lying in bed at the end of the day, and it was just nice and talking meant I felt better about something shitty my dd has said (obviously repeating what stbxh has said to her or in her presence).

@unambiguousbeard I Unfriended and blocked someone yesterday who made 2 comments about using rubber bullets on all these people using exercise as an 'excuse'. I pointed out people are at home more now so out at different times. Gyms, leisure centres, swimming pools etc all closed so stands to reason more people outside to exercise. Plus this is a respiratory disease so good for those attempting to get fitter in order to have a better chance of fighting this horrible virus off.

What she really meant is that she was annoyed there were more people out in her country lanes, mostly inconveniencing her daily drive to ride her horse. Despite her being shielded. Because it's 'other people' that are the problem. Her right to drove to exercise is ok. Other people now outside to exercise is not ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Stuckinarut79 I got stuck in the one way system in my local shop.
Couldn't go forward because the staff were stacking shelves. Couldn't go back because it's one way and I didn't want to get in trouble.
So I just stood there until they'd finished stacking.

Notcoolmum you're right about the blame game. And it's starting to turn nasty. There are some horrible comments on here and on my local fbook.
If you're not locked up inside, feeding your children on 2 grains of rice a day then you're not taking this seriously enough

@EchoElephant - thread on MN yesterday was ridiculous. Bread and milk not essentials. Exercise not necessary. So many people making up rules on distance and time limits.

I think we can all see picnics and bbqs in public spaces aren't a great idea. Although I do feel for those with young children who don't have any outdoor space. I'm unfollowing so many people on FB asking how to report their neighbours.

And the misunderstanding that the severity of the lockdown is correlated to the length of the lockdown. The lockdown is to flatten the curve in order that the nhs can cope with the number of serious cases. It doesn't make this virus magically disappear. Sadly.

I guess people are scared and frustrated, and many don’t behave well at such times. Blaming the behaviour of others is a vent but It makes a shit situation worse for everyone. I’m just keeping my head down, not looking at social media (except this thread ) and doing as I’m told for possibly the first time in my life. Keeping calm and carrying on.

I do think this is a war situation. And the first casualty of war is the truth. After the war is over is the time for war trials of the poor management and decision-making that has made us all so vulnerable.

@Eesha just seen your thread elsewhere on Dom/sub relationships, but thought I’d post here! Mr chatty is a Dom, and it worries/excites me as well, we’ve agreed on friendship first, vanilla till we get to know each other and trust and then... but he’s shown me some of his toy collection, and freaking a little! But mostly not trying to think too far ahead as that’d be over investing!! We’ve not chatted too much about it, It’s one side of him I want to get to know but it’s not the only thing, but then I worry I’m being naive and I should really find out more before I get into something that’s not for me!!

I'm following the @TigerDater approach too - staying off the local neighbourhood pages on Facebook - quick scan of my favourite mates and groups and that's it. Actually I did have a peek at the community group and there was a hugely commented thread about dog poo and whether we should be arsed about it given everything else that's happening. Plus ca change.

Anyway last week I exercised my son very adequately though not sure about how adequately I educated him, whilst being on a rota at work. While there were a lot of people about in my local parks, the distancing was being practiced responsibly. Playgrounds were closed and no one was in them.

Yesterday I did I several hours of long overdue top and bumcrack displaying gardening and I will have some wonky courgettes to look forward to. No chance of aubergines though ...

Dating ? Just myself right now

@Notcoolmum and @unambiguousbeard I think you are spot on too about the distraction techniques of blaming the public. Far easier than blaming the government for the catalogue of mistakes, tardy response and lack of ventilators and testing.

One of my irons works in the field of research and is working 12-14 hour days on this but it's futile if we don't form a global response and collaborate with other countries. Not accepting ventilators from the EU and lying about it, ignoring UK manufacturers who offer to step up production in favour of cronyism is basically genocide. It's like the USA and its lack of federal response which means that each state is bidding against each other for ventilators.

Meanwhile, my neighbours are so busy curtain-twitching and then jumping to ring the police because a neighbour they have probably had a grudge against for years popped out twice to take her spaniel for a walk in pretty deserted woodland that they aren't even angry about this. I think this crisis really shows the best and worst of people. Yesterday they were in uproar about Amazon drivers leaving plastic gloves in the street and I'm thinking 'Life as we know it has stopped, the economy has tanked, people are dying, but yes, go on, ring the community police officers and report the poor Amazon guy who is out working while you sit on your arse training your binoculars on the road 24/7.' Appalling. (sorry, rant over!)

Am really busy at work right now and it's distracting me from how much I miss my life. But I do miss it. Hope you are all ok xxx

There's a regular irate poster on our local fbook. She seems to have made it her mission to name and shame anyone who she thinks are flouting the rules.
Particularly tradespeople, like myself, who are allowed to go out to work.

When she's told she's being ridiculous, she piles on the guilt. Saying she can't work, she's obeying the rules which means she can't go out and her children can't go out. Followed by how she's running out of food.
So all her mates pile on, offering to go shopping for her and saying how selfish everyone else is. She's probably got the best stocked cupboards in the village!

Meanwhile I'm just enjoying a little flirting with the men of Fab