Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I’ve got to go to the office tomorrow
I really do not want to go in and don’t see the point at all really

I’m very productive from home!

Is anyone else feeling smothered by their iron(s)? I began chatting to one yesterday and he tried to call me several times today while I was working, even after I explained I was busy. I still have to work and I’m not here to provide entertainment for others who are bored!

I'm not on this thread (just being nosey).

Those of you being told you need to be back @ work next week - why?! The Government has clearly stated that employees who can do their job from home should do their job from home. We are not even at the peak of this virus yet

I am a front line worker

I am actually a COVID ops manager for my primary care network. I have people and things to manage

I don’t think I need to be in the office but at the same time I have left all my colleagues there who have no choice but to stay. So some guilt. I will go in

Added I am not usually a COVID manager that is where I have been deployed to 😂

Because I'm a critical worker and I can't do my role from home, same as everyone else going to work 🤷🏻‍♀️

@TigerDater Much less cabin fevery, we spent two hours (sensibly) at the park this evening. I also put all my blinds up today, I’ve only been living here a year...

‘Sadly’ he wasn’t allowed to keep his cast.

I’m not an indoors person, I was thinking usually it’s a forty minute walk to work (including school drop off), the same home, we would then do an hour at the park, Tuesday rugby training, Saturday rugby tots (although not the last few weeks obviously), then a good hour or so at the park on Saturday and Sunday. We normally walk to a friends on a Sunday as well, that’s a good hour each way.

I also discovered about half an hour ago that today is Wednesday. We also finished Tiger King last night, after watching that life will never be the same.

I'm the same @SimonJT I'm not good at being inside, never have been. Everything I enjoy I do outside. I used to walk everywhere now I cycle everywhere. I have a tan by may. Always spent a couple of hours in the park after school. Have always had some kind of outdoor space and lived outside for a while. It's hard being in, really hard. I've got a garden and I sit out in that. And I'm going on walks/runs of an hour or so. Had a bike ride into central ish London last weekend. With a mask. And keeping away from everyone. I don't know where all the people hanging out and breaking rules are. All I've seen is people in twos, keeping their distance, wearing masks, clearly exercising or buying food. There are a lot of people out and about taking a safe constitutional.

Good luck at work @Menora sounds incredibly stressful. You've not mentioned mr M in a while that's got to be good....

Just wanted to post a warning to anyone who is on tinder I had a iron call him Mr weirdo we exchanged messages and numbers had an ok call, then he turned very nasty today accusing me of being selfish because my daughter has been self isolating with me and sent me this awful message accusing me of being a sick bastard and saying I am sick in the head and that I need to see a psychiatrist and no one would touch me with a barge pole . It has freaked me out and I have promptly deleted my account I won't be going back on it you just don't know who you are talking to it's scary and worse now that people can't meet for ages .please be careful everyone.

@Justwondering3696 that sounds awful ! I’m sorry you experienced that. Sounds like he has a few screws loose. X

Hey all just a check in. Sorry and hugs to those missing their irons/boyfriends. It's a tough time. I'm completely sans irons having coincidentally ended whatever I had going on just before all this to 'work on myself'. Well here we are, totally working on myself. I had a horrendous week wfh with my dd there (5). I had to change job roles during all this because we lost a lot of clients and with a child and a computer that kept seizing up i was working till past midnight, and ultimately they furloughed me on Monday just gone. A mixture of upset and then relief.

Dd is now at her dads but weve had a giant row. I had a bit of a sore throat early last week which went after a night. No other symptoms. I'd told him this, but also said I needed him to have her at the end of the week so I could catch up with work (before I got furloughed). He refused. Citing the sore throat. As far as I was aware a cough and a fever were the main symptoms. He then sent me several emails in the tone of a pious HR manager. Refusing to have her till X time. I said monday would be more helpful so I can make sure I'm on the ball for work. He doesnt reply to this so I take her round. Doesnt answer doorbell, texts or calls. I bring her home. More officious emails. Then I was furloughed. I'm not sure how anyone else feels about the above. Im bloody fastidious, have not been out except once and I wore a mask to the supermarket, disinfected all my food shopping. What pissed me off about it all was the dictatorial stance of it. No shits given about how perilous my job situation was. No consideration that my symptoms werent typical for covid. And ultimately ended in furlough. It also doesnt bode well for .... what would he do if I was actually genuinely sick? And more to the point given the guidelines. What exactly are we supposed to do if we have our kids with us and get badly sick? Self isolation in that scenario??

In my head once lockdown was announced I had it in my head that if one of us got sick the other would be best to move in (argh) the sick person isolates in one room and the other takes care of dd. Personally whatever the guidelines. If ex got obvious symptoms, I would take her out of there. Viral load is a consideration. As is a child on her own with an obviously sick parent in a time she knows theres a terrible illness going about. Everyone else's thoughts?

SimonJT

I thought the exercise rule was one hour!

30/03/2020 14:07 SimonJT

@CrossMyBoundariesAtYourPeril If you have listened to any of the PMs speeches, seen a single advert on TV etc you will be well aware that it’s against the rules.

There is no time limit on the exercise 'rules'

@supercali77
I really feel for you having DDs father who doesnt appear to want to step up.
Is he usually helpful and a good father?
If he is maybe the fear around the virus has got to him.
If he has never been a good father then I think you need to have another plan in place in case you did get really sick in the future - maybe a relative or very good friend.

It sounds like you have been sensibly considering scenarios and he hasnt.
I think a discussion with him is needed about ill health in general to make sure you're on the same page.

I too would remove my daughter if the other parent had them and then got sick.
Your daughter can move between parental households and if he had symptoms and you took your daughter back to yours you would both need to self isolate for 14 days.

@CrossMyBoundariesAtYourPeril There’s no rules in the UK (at the moment) regarding how long you can be out for. You must be incredibly bored, there are much more exciting people to stalk on here.

@SimonJT - you can have my exercise time, I'm staying indoors eating biscuits ... I'd like a size 10 body when you're done please 👍🏻

@SortingItOut we are 50/50 and hes never shirked it. He is also though, a know it all (even if other people are just as well read) and stubborn. His inability to discuss and come to agreements is part of why we're not together. It would be so much easier all round of routine testing were taking place.

Yes, re 14 days, is what I'd do. Comms have broken down completely since the row. I have a few very good freinds who would bring food to my door. As for dd. Surely to god the man would take her if I couldnt care for myself let alone her? It seems so obvious to me but maybe I need to break the silence and discuss it

It also feels surreal to even be contemplating all this. I hope everyone is staying well

SimonJT how on earth do you equate someone making a comment to you on a public forum as stalking?

No rugby here but I have finally run out of excuses so started Couch to 5k with DD yesterday. Sarah Millican is our coach because she irritates the hell out of me, so I can yell obscenities each time she utters ‘words of encouragement ‘. It was fun! Mr GN is doing the same, 200 miles away.

The ‘guidance’ from Gove re amount of exercise seemed to focus on what was normal for the individual, which would be about 30-60 minutes for most people but more for sporty types like @SimonJT and his family. So long as social distancing rules etc are followed strictly when outside, I don’t think longer can be a problem. And the effect of lack of exercise on health and the ability to cope if the virus hits is significant of course.

@supercali77 for your own peace of mind I think you do need to break the silence and make a plan for DD in the event either of you getting the virus. I hope it goes well, it’s extraordinary how exes succeed in adding to the stress of already difficult situations.

@supercali77 all of it sounds like my situation. My ex seems to think he’s invincible.

I had some symptoms too but they went quickly and think it was stress. Feeling better now.