Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@SimonJT there is no time limit. They just don’t want people travelling etc for exercise. The way people are using the M25 as a race track now because it is empty is why. Do what you need to do but do it locally.

@TigerDater isnt it? He didnt ask to speak to dd once in 11 days either. Which I just do not understand at all.

@Meeeh yes I joked before lockdown I had nighttime coronavirus bevause my anxiety peaked then.

@supercali77
Surely to god the man would take her if I couldnt care for myself let alone her? It seems so obvious to me but maybe I need to break the silence and discuss it

The problem is that we think everyone has our standards and logic but of course they dont and if he's stubborn then I can see him being a knob for the sake of it.

Talking about it now will save anxiety further along the line.

@supercali77 coronanoia - I think stress can make you run down and you get minor bugs as a result.

I agreed with ex- that if we got severe symptoms that laid either of us low we'd take over childcare duties but if it was mild we'd ride it out as we do normally do when we're poorly and parenting. At the moment there's just the three of us in contact via our 50:50 childcare (7 days on/7 days off) though I'm part of a work rota that takes me out of the house once a week (HairyArsedSon coming with me as we're the only ones on our floor). We decided not to do the mid-week drop ins that we do normally to reduce our contact with each others unavoidable networks. Still, we will get it at some point, and then we will all go the 14 day quarantine route, treating our group as one household.

@supercali77 - I'm almost permanently in a communication stalemate with my ex (DC's Dad). At present I have no idea when he's planning to see the DC again, or even call them.

I also don't trust him to isolate with the children properly and I'm v high risk. It's making me very anxious. One DC would rather not see him at all and I'm finding that hard too.

How are you today @Dancerinthemoonlight? DD and I planted some lettuce and sunflower seeds, but being the impatient cow that I am we also did some cress, so I'm expecting to be eating that very soon! ☘🌻🥬

@jesuispret I'm doing okay thanks. How are you? Double stuffed Oreos have been my nemisis today. Just trying to follow a routine as much as possible.
Heard from Mr Army a few times today, he has told me that he's going to be crazily busy the next few weeks. He is also finishing a few work online courses by tomorrow night.
Trying not to worry about things I can't control. He is keeping in contact with me and texts me back when he is free. At the moment that's all I can ask for.

@JeSuisPrest I have planted peas, sweetcorn, tomato's, spring onions, carrots, 2 types of lettuce, 2 types of raddish, purple broccoli, cauliflower, parsnips, strawberries and rhubarb.
Never grown sweetcorn, peas, broccoli, cauli or parsnips before. So it's all an experiment. Looking forward to hopefully being able to pickle some of the cauli for Xmas though.

We planted some courgette seeds this morning, our balcony gets lots of sun so 🤞🏽they will grow. We planted a few radishes as well as they grow fairly quickly. We have a little chilli plant that we grew earlier in the year and kept inside.

I don’t know where else they are, but I noticed on my run that a lot of advert billboards round here are now kindness in community boards etc.

I upgraded my handlebar to a 1970/80’s porn star moustache this morning, it’s a creepy Chris Kamara tache next.

I’m sorry he’s being an idiot @supercali77 you can’t control what someone else does or even get them to think differently, I’m always glad that I don’t have to share MiniSJT/take another adults views in how to raise him etc.

@supercali77 another with an ex being an idiot, but after his telling off by mum last week (after he rang her to complain I was being unreasonable asking for help) he’s been a bit better. But the fear of what happens if I get really ill still worries me, he says he’ll move back in (as he’s living with elderly parents) and that’s an awful thought it took me 18 months to get him out and I can’t help thinking him and his parents are wishing I’ll get ill so he can!

@Dancerinthemoonlight wow I’m impressed I can’t keep anything alive, my DD handed me a plant on Mother’s Day and said “dad bought it, I don’t know why you’ll only kill it” she knows me well!

Hi everyone, just checking in - hope everyone is doing OK!

I'm lucky in that I can WFH, but just feel too restless to concentrate on some of my hobbies. I've just got myself an exercise bike, so hopefully that will help get rid of the few kg I've put on recently! All I seem to do is move from my desk to the kitchen to the sofa and back again.

I think I'm still dating Miss H, even though we still haven't spoken about what "we" are. She's a key worker so is busy with work most of the time at the moment, and less chatty on WhatsApp than usual which is quite tough.

I've just seen this list of social distancing chat-up lines - I wonder if any of these will work...

If COVID-19 doesn't take you out, can I?

Is that hand sanitiser in your pocket or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?

Since all the public libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead.

You can't spell virus without U and I.

I saw you from across the bar. Stay there.

Without you my life is as empty as the supermarket shelf.

Hey babe! Can I ship you a drink?

You can't spell quarantine without "U R A Q T".

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again?

Hello all,

Fab/kik question : Just wondering what your thoughts are on kik? I've been chatting to that Mr HotandYoung via Fab and he wanted to move to Kik. His profile says he likes to verify on there and he seems normal enough. I downloaded it but isn't it a cheating app? He's also super gorgeous so I'm suspicious!

Morning all
I'm still talking with Mr Farmer. I really enjoy his chat and he's talking about dates and even weekends away which is lovely. I live alone with dd so it's nice to have adult chat and things to look forward to but I'm also very aware that it's only been 2 weeks and there's another 10 to go, potentially more! And also of the rules, it's all talk until it actually happens 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some of those lines did make me laugh thecat but it does worry me that there are sites for men to find chatup lines/dad jokes etc. I don’t get it. Why can’t men just say what they think instead of giving out lines?

eesha kik does have the reputation for being the cheater’s way of communicating as it doesn’t involve giving out identifying names/numbers. The downside of Fab is also that there is a high percentage of married/attached people on there. So I would be wary.

Has anyone had any success with Guardian Soulmates? I have tried eharmony, POF, Tinder and Bumble and met people but they were odd in person.

@Claire926 I found it dreadful. Tumbleweed central. There's hardly anyone on it and most of the ones I chatted to were on bumble/tinder anyway. I paid fir 3 months and gave up after 2 weeks. Most unlike me to waste money like that!

@Eesha
In my experience everyone from fab who wanted to move to kik was not single, although I am single and moved to kik with a couple who I felt uneasy about so I would say go with the flow.

If you're worried he is a cat fish you can screenshot his photo and upload it here - tineye.com

And it will tell you if the photo is being used anywhere else on the internet.

I did it with loads of people, one guy was using photos that were being used millions of times everywhere so I called him out on it and reported him and within minutes his account was removed (I assume by him).
Not sure why they use fake photos unless they have no intention of meeting.

Tiger - I just saw these pop up on Facebook. I’m not sure anyone would seriously use them though, but they made me smile

Eesha how does moving to kik help him verify anything? I've never used it, so I've no idea how it works. But I've heard it's a cheaters app

I've got quite a few different chats going on Fab. Most probably won't go anything but it's passing the time. Some have wanted to move to WA or kik but I've said no. It's easier to keep them all in the same place.

So far I have a recipe for Victoria sponge, a karaoke offer and found someone who used to live where I grew up.

@Claire926 I tried GSM when I first started OLD and i found it very slow and not many on there within an acceptable radius for me. I think it's better if you live in London and know quite a few people who met someone on there and are now married.

I'm still here in lockdown with Mr Ad. It's nice to have him around but I do miss my space and independence. He gets very stressed when working and as we are sharing a dining table it's not ideal sometimes! Still, both grateful to still have jobs and be able to wfh.

He gets on well with the kids and helps around the house/garden so I can cope a while longer! Will definitely be going back to our own homes once this is all over though and enjoy time together and apart!

Not sure how you can verify anything with kik either, certainty strikes me as a cheaters app from those I’ve spoken to on there. It’s also quite laggy.

Thanks the @TheCatWithTheHat and @SimonJT for the laughs, I’m a big fan off the constant memes I get on WhatsApp it brightens the days and alway seem to get one at just the right moment! Mr old sends some most day, usually really rude!

I had a video date/social with mr chatty last night, I’m not putting a label on it, it’s what it is, met on fab heading towards fwb but it could be something more! It was really nice to put a pretty top on, some lipstick and ridiculously some perfume (it made me feel good) and chat with someone over a pint! We even did the weird sussing out texts after!! That turned into very late night texting!

I am in London @Sunshineandflipflops and it was still rubbish. But as we all know I am picky/difficult 😁

I’m not finding the online chatting is going very well at the moment. So many bored men who seem to think I’m here to entertain them 🙄 Unfortunately I still have to work, and work is really busy, so my free time is actually quite limited. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever find someone now. I’ve been trying for years and haven’t even got close.