Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Dontsayyouloveme there are quite a few people on the apps, all seem bored and just want someone to chat to.
Quite a few sex pests as well.
I'm not expecting to meet anyone at the end of this because I doubt I can keep the chats going that long. But if I do, that will be a bonus.
I'm keeping myself busy but it's nice to get a message or two in the evening.

@TIF2 as you will have seen I vented my frustration too as I’m in a long term but live apart relationship and the “just move in together” option doesn’t work for me.
I’ve spent a lot of time agonising over this bit the reality is that as my children are going back and forth to their keyworker dad - we are a risky family to be hanging out with. My bf is also doing keyworker stuff though not frontline. However, if the kids come back from dad’s with corona and give it to my bf and he then goes to work with it and then the other sites he works at and Asda to get a loaf for the lady down the road and I go to Tesco with it - we are spreading it more.

@TigerDater thanks it's tough at the moment but if everyone sticks to lockdown we'll get through it quicker.

@TIF2 I'm not sure why you posted as you have clearly decided what you are going to do despite most of us thinking it's the wrong thing at this time.

If you read about the viral load of this disease it might help explain why it's best for us to keep to a small group of people. You are mixing with 2 people who are also out and about. And you are out and about. So potentially coming into contact with a high viral load? Your bf is self isolating so is probably not posing a huge risk to you personally. But your household could pose a risk to him. And significantly to his vulnerable mother.

I miss my BF of 9 months so much. He lives with a vulnerable parent. I have asthma and 2 older children. He is doing my shopping so we will see each other. But at a distance of 2m. Yes I want physical contact. But I think we all have to be sensible and play our part here.

I found the diagram about reducing contact and the impact really useful. It's not easy. And I'm slightly resentful of those in lockdown with their partners. This would be much more bearable with him by my side.

@Notcoolmum how is it seeing him
From 2m away , ok or it makes you feel like you miss him more ? Mr g lives close enough that he could happen to pass my house on a walk or bike ride and we could talk theu the window but I think I’d feel worse.

Hey! I just popped on to say hope everyone is well and coping with the social distancing.

luckily I'm still working from home so thats keeping me busy.

I've told fwb I just want to chat. I've decided FWB is not really for me 🙁. im still on the apps but OMG no-one seems to know how to chat!. surely fully grown men know how to ask questions and keep a convo going?!? if they're not interested I'd rather they just didnt reply!

also lost 3 irons now as I wont meet up at the minute!

I feel like I'm soon going to be one of those profiles that has a big rant and list of requirements 😫. prob time to come off apps but I'd really like some interaction in the evenings .

@crazycatlady20 what about fab for pointless chats in the evenings? I'm using that as a sideline to the normal sites. Strangely I find the fab people more upfront and friendly whereas I've already been unmatched by someone who seemed so keen on tinder plus another who seems to be less keen because I can't quickly meet for a coffee! I run the risk of going on Fab completely as it's so much easier though unfortunately can't see myself meeting anyone there long term!

jane we haven't done it yet. We weren't going to see each other at all until I saw the news about not going shopping and he offered to do our big shop for us. I'm sort of dreading it really. It's been hard enough on FaceTime. He's a very tactile person so I think it will be short and sweet and I will have to send him packing. I'll let you know how it goes tonight.

I’m a big Fab fan, it’s where I met Mr GN. People seem open, honest and respectful there. I certainly would NOT be able to stay 2 metres away from Mr GN if I saw him now, whatever da rules say. 200 miles distance is good in that respect at least. But although he’s now officially my boyfriend (🤢 I’m 57 FFS, it’s such a ridiculous term), I don’t think I would cope better with him by my side. I’ve just reverted to complete independence again, but feel much happier than before I met him because I know he cares and I know we’ll have the most amazing sex when we see each other again.

@Eesha I met Mr BC on Fab and he's now my 'boyfriend' 😂 I'm 56 this year, I agree @TigerDater, boyfriend sounds ridiculous!!

@Notcoolmum I hope it goes ok. I think I’d feel sad if it was my parent or friend as well and I couldn’t hug them. I have dd with me and she hugs me and I love her company but I can’t unload on her or have her comfort me when I’m upset etc. I have to have a cry down the garden when she’s in bed

This is good for a chuckle.

www.bustle.com/articles/179859-how-nicknames-for-couples-have-evolved-in-the-last-100-years

Gentleman caller

I dont really know what FAB is. I thought it was people just looking for FB or FWB. is it an app or just a website?

Ha ha in my head I call him my gentleman caller but I don’t think most people I know would really get that!

It’s Fabswingers, just a website I think. I think you go on there thinking of finding a FB or FWB, so you ensure sexual compatibility from the off, but love can grow from there as from anywhere really 🤷‍♀️

@TigerDater @BatshitCrazyWoman Oooo that's interesting to know! TBH I've had some really interesting chats including one from a very hot younger man (37 to my 42) which I'm extremely tempted by only because he's actually really fun to chat to alongside being hot. Darnit!!!

Day 16ish? Of homo-alono

Quite getting used to this house husband business, although amazon delivered an iron today, I do think that’s going a bit far. MiniSJT had his cast off today, I couldn’t go as I’m in a high risk category so poor MrNN had that job.

We’re going to watch First Time by Nathaniel Hall tonight, we’ve been sent a dvd, no idea who by though!

I noticed Keegan Hirst is doing 7days of positivity, might join, I’m always fairly miserable, so watch this space.

We’re now as a country a week into social distancing, that means no matter how long it lasts, we have already completed a full week.

@crazycatlady20 I would also recommend Fab for some light chit chat. Or Badoo.
I agree about the inability to keep chats going. I get fed up if someone just keeps answering with "lol". How hard is it to ask a question?
Even if the questions are quite mundane at the moment.

I'm exchanging knock, knock jokes with someone on Badoo. I've also had a game of hangman on Fab while they tried to guess my name.

@Eesha my age on Fab is 49 (I'm 51), but I get most interest from 42yr olds. I'm not complaining 😀

There does seem to be a thing about younger men on Fab. Mr GN is 51.

I like FAB as you can send really long messages, I’ve sent and received essays with mr chatty! But we’ve now moved to WhatsApp so the talking has dried up!!! But we’re going to do a virtual social, I’m going to put a dress on and everything!

Good point @SimonJT we’ve done and survived a week! Today has been the toughest day, the DC have argued all day, I can’t wait for bedtime, my house is a tip!!

I've never used any of those expressions @Windmillwhirl

I don't know whether to be proud or to be ashamed at being rubbish at intimacy.

@Windmillwhirl I usually call mine Noori (it’s an Urdu thing), when he pisses me off I call him babe because he really hates it.

I have a real thing about bae as well. It just makes me cringe. Good to know you can use it with effect when needed though.

I mentioned on another thread I recently ran into a friend when I was out shopping with my 'bf'. She knew of him but they'd never met. I introduced him my ummmm, err, my friend. Hes 49 and boyfriend in the moment sounded so ridiculous. He jokingly pulled me up on if later... "so I'm your friend, Windmill ". I explained bf sounded childish and partner so formal. I asked what I should of called him and he thought for a few seconds and said "my hero" which made me laugh.

I might say that next time just to see his reaction

jane thanks. I'm the same. I went to see my mum on Mother's Day. And burst into tears when we had to socially distance and I couldn't hug her. She's under 70 and not in any risk group.