Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Interesting views on whether you can see your partner - I've been with mine for 5 months now, we both live alone and have only popped out for shopping - we are debating whether we can see one another safely - the intention is that he comes to stay with me for a couple of days a week and then goes home but we're just not sure if that is allowed.

NRTFT but is anyone taking this as an opportunity to have some time out from OLD, to just focus on themselves?

@CrossMyBoundariesAtYourPeril If you have listened to any of the PMs speeches, seen a single advert on TV etc you will be well aware that it’s against the rules.

Thanks everyone. I appreciate and consider your advice. However, I don’t thinking is selfish to want to physically see a lover - physical closeness is essential to our being human and to mental health. I don’t mean right now / whenever we feel like it, but if this crisis continues for months I do think we need to find a (permitted, official) way to meet people without endangering others.

The important thing is to minimise exposure. So if you have no symptoms, and you ensure that you self-isolate for at least 7 days (14 of you share a household) between meetings, there is actually less risk of increasing the infection rate than by ordering a non-essential product online.

@CrossMyBoundariesAtYourPeril I'm in the same position as you, we have been together for coming up to 6 months. Going back and forth between households is only applied to people sharing custody of children. So only the children can go between those households. ...and even that leaves people at risk, but that's a whole other issue!

My partner and I live 2 hours away from each other but it isn't feasible for either one of us to go and live in one household at present due to the work we both do. For now we just have to keep contact with video/phone calls and messaging.

I think unless one of you is willing and able to move into the other's household for the whole duration, then I'd stay as you are. Even a visit to the supermarket exposes you to risk of the virus.

@Dontsayyouloveme I was going to take a break from OLD but I'm on my own, my friends are too busy with their families and there is only so much cleaning and exercise I can do.
So I decided to set up a Badoo profile just for some online chat. Not sure how much focusing on myself I want to do. I'm bored of my own company.

SimonJT Well no it isn't that clear - in fact it has been suggested that lone livers move into together for the duration which we could easily do, as have some on this thread, so I'm not sure why it is more risky.

You could have chosen to move in together at the start of the lockdown . There are a lot of cases of people getting cv from shops etc.

The important thing is to minimise exposure. So if you have no symptoms, and you ensure that you self-isolate for at least 7 days (14 of you share a household) between meetings, there is actually less risk of increasing the infection rate than by ordering a non-essential product online.

This is not correct !!!! You may not have signs of illness for 10 days or more. It’s 7 days from the start of symptoms . If you are at risk of having it from contact it’s not 7

We could have, however, the last time we saw one another was before lockdown so wasn't an issue then. Yes people can pick it up shopping but for some, there is no other choice than to go out and buy food - at the moment we both have to go out. I'm not sure why this would differ from, for instance, children moving between separated parents - hence our confusion.

I was at dp's at the time of lockdown ... we were planning on me moving here but not yet due to me needing to change jobs. Going well but I'm torn because my adult kids back at home and I need things from work. I'm not the only one, I've spoken to others in similar circumstances and they are similarly conflicted. As we are all isolated, me travelling home for a few days is not a risk ( plus no higher risk situation) but I'm waiting for now to get clarification - the police were very helpful in fact as I'm a keyworker but can work from home if I can get a few papers from my office, should have gone home last Wednesday

Practically it’s maybe doesn’t. But there were exceptions given for carers and movement of children. It’s the rules to limit exposure , everyone went back and to partners or friends there’s a lot more chance of passing on the virus. If everyone thought like you we would cripple the NhS. Take a look at the pics of the massive hospitals they are building and see if it’s worth the risk

I can’t believe people would take this risk. Those giant -hospices- hospitals have scared the shit out of me; if I do get the virus, I’d rather take my chances at home than go there. Yes, human touch is a need, but what about those of us who are single and have been that way for years, despite (in my case) hundreds of dates? How do you think we cope? It’s shit but it’s better than being dead.

tif I agree withjane - to chuck in his elderly parents for a woman he’s met 5 times seems OTT/love-bombing to me.

dancer and jesuis I’m so glad to hear you both sounding brighter.

I extended my dog walk by 15 minutes today as I’ll only be doing one a day now (DD doing the second walk) so I went outside my usual community. There was a man walking down the street ahead of me with two kids, and he was coughing heavily and spitting on the pavement- reapeatedly. The kids looked mortified and scared, I felt both furious and terrified 😢. So many people are so so careful and dutiful, snd then there are twats like this who could bring us all down 😡

Thirty I feel the same, I’m doing all I can to not come into contact with anyone other than my dc. I even get nervous when the postman knocks the door. We don’t need to go out (been getting food deliveries but only have 2 weeks left of delivery slots). Just noticed my neighbour has been out picking things up (he does house clearances) and his wife is also out as her cars not there 🤨. I haven’t been out for 2 weeks, I have cabin fever but I’m not going anywhere unless I really need too and that includes meeting Mr Ski who won’t take no for an answer.

@ThirtyAndASmidgen those hospitals scare me , People will be alone. That won’t be Me or dd we are simply not going out

For anyone who is thinking about breaking the rules and trying to see a partner, please have a read:

elemental.medium.com/hold-the-line-17231c48ff17

You aren't just seeing the person you meet. You expose yourself and others to the risks taken by every single contact either one of you has had. And in turn you increase the risks for everyone that has to have contact with you.

Please don't do it. It's hard for everyone who is separated from a partner, family, children... But it's important.

And the main reason that we can move children between homes is that children are very low risk for reasons we don't really understand. They don't seem to catch or she'd this virus as much as adults.

elemental.medium.com/hold-the-line-17231c48ff17

Clicky link.

@CrossMyBoundariesAtYourPeril @TIF2

I went to Asda today. First time I’ve been to a big supermarket since all this started as I’ve been quite anxious about it and relying on my local convenience store but my list was so long I had to brave it today.
They were trying to put in social distancing measure but it was fairly futile as shoppers were taking no notice, other than at the checkouts.

Anyway, despite the anxiety and desperation to get home, I got enough to hopefully last a week for 4 of us and some extra for my elderly parents so that I don’t have to keep popping to my local shop every couple of days, so that felt like a win.

I have also just been for a run, which despite being very hard due to injuries, I did. Feeling like today has been quite productive.
I have an online yoga class tonight then the last episode of Tiger King!

One of two things is going to happen here, with the lack of hugs (and penis)

1. gain about three stone
2. become a lockdown babe - like Sarah Connor in terminator who’s working out in prison knowing what’s coming

I've been doing those John Wick workouts everyone's been talking about. My house is in tatters and my dog's dead, but apart from that I remain bloody and unbowed. Great way to start the day

@HairyArsedMan WHOA! No-one mentioned John Wick workouts! You can keep Joe...I want Keanu 😍😍😍

Sorry to hear about your dog ☹️

I’ve eaten all the snacks and drank all the wine. Also not washed my hair in a week. I make out to mr g my camera won’t work and we can only talk 😂😂

I have re-started my weight loss. I have been losing and gaining the same 2kgs since the start of the year. Aim is to lose 0.5 - 1kg each week and Mr Army can enjoy a slimmer me when this is all over

My non existent dog's ok @Sunshineandflipflops - it was a reference to the film within my (being charitable to myself) 7/10 gag

I'm getting my coat.