Dating Thread 187 - Love in the Time of Corona

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I seem to be having the opposite problem with Mr GN, he’s living up to his name (greedy needy, for newbies) by wanting to communicate all the bloody time, it’s exhausting especially as he is not great at chucking new ideas into conversations, he tends to feed off my ideas. Also, he keeps banging on about moving in here as a lodger when he’s back on site, which financially would be awesome (though it would put me above the rent a room relief threshold as I already have one lodger) but that is just about the worst possible reason from a relationship perspective. Basically, he’s setting off all my Ms Unavailable alarm bells 😕, I feel crowded.

I imagine it's just as difficult the other way round Tiger and I'd freak at the thought of the lodger scenario. I'm going to attempt a but of a cards on the table chat later, I'm not sure which way it will go.. Wish me luck.

Ah good luck nobloodyfighting. To be fair to Mr GN, when I indicate he’s crowding me he backs right off, he knows exactly where I stand and I know where he stands. So when we have ‘cards on the table’ convos it clears the air but also the cards kind of just stay on the table. So hard to reach conclusions and decide on actions at this weird, weird time.

I've given up on all dating sites. I deleted all my stuff last weekend.
Other people seem to have more luck than me on here though so it's obviously me.

I’ve actually gone back in the apps to distract myself from thinking about MrBeard and my strike rate is awesome 😎 I think everyone is feeling lonely and pressing the fuck it button! I’d still rather be chatting to Mr Beard though Have also lot 6lbs in a week cos basically I’ve no appetite and am exercising all the time to fill the hours and kill stress. Off for a run now. It’s bloody freezing today though

Well done uttersocks, on everything really. I’ve lost my appetite too, it seems wrong to eat normal quantities when it feels like there’s not enough to go round. And my dog is exhausted from each family member walking her for their daily exercise!

I've given up.

The last girl I started chatting to in Stafford turned out to be an absolute nutter so I've stepped away.
I work my arse off all week and I just want to find a decent woman to chill with at the weekends but bloody he'll its stressful.
I'm going to get back into my running instead

I've also upped the exercise as there is nothing else to do!
Been running in the morning and doing an online gym class each afternoon.
Hoping it shows in the scales!
So I have an iron ...I think!
I'll call him Mr Farmer.
We managed one date before complete lockdown which was just a dog walk in the park.
He seems lovely, very interesting with lots going on in his life but I think it's going to be a struggle for everyone who was in the initial first dates stage with irons.
Bring on our freedom!

@TigerDater this is for your dog

Yup, that’s my dawg!

yellowshirt OLD is stressful at the best of times, right now I think running is probably more productive and better for stress. And - said with love - a lot of women don’t like being referred to as ‘girls’.

Me too @dancemom I have generally done

Morning
30 min insanity workout
30 squat, hip thrust, fire hydrants and dead bugs.

Midday just before lunch
45 mins of weights with a different target area each day

Just before bed
Weighted press ups on day 82 of the 100 day challenge
Chin/pull ups

I have a frame coming for my bike so I can cycle in the flat/on the balcony. What I’m doing is okay, but I’m majorly missing the gym and my body condition is going to suffer. I had just started back at rugby as well ☹️

Or nutters!
@Yellowshirt
OLD is hard for sure but if the same thing keeps happening to you, maybe consider a new approach ?

@Myfabby I'm sorry . I didn't mean to offend but the woman was just slighty crazy with the conversation we were having. I wasn't rude to her I just didn't want to chat to her again. Lol
Thanks for the advice though. Any tips are welcome.

@TìgerDater Thanks for the tip. It will be a while before I go on dating sites again though.

Hope everyone is okay today and hanging on in there. Trying to not over think things. Told Me Army that I'm looking forward to seeing him again and going on dates with him when this is all over. He said unfortunately it looks like it's going a to be a month or two. Does this mean he wants to see me when this is all over or not? He said he was looking forward to sleeping properly and going to the gym

dancer I can’t honestly see how you can construe that as anything negative or even ambiguous. He’s an exhausted person who is missing his sleep and routine, and is probably more aware than most that this is a long haul. Chill.

Peeps are very quiet here. FWIW I have a policy of not: watching tv, listening to the radio, visiting news websites or doing social media as it’s all just so either monotone or crazy. Plodding along with sensitivities and expectations switched off for the foreseeable. There are three of us in the house, plus two dogs, but we don’t really associate much. I look forward to talking to my DF by video call every night - it used to be once every three weeks, but he told me he likes talking to me and he prefers my conversation to that of my two DBs. Score! Sibling rivalry still alive and kicking at 57-61 years old!

💐 to those feeling poorly, or struggling with DC at home or being alone.

@Dancerinthemoonlight I think if he didn’t want to see you after this break he wouldn’t be messaging and yes it could be a few months.

Think I'm going to take a break from this thread and potentially the internet in general. Wish everyone the best of luck in dating and getting through this.

Yes. I'm not thinking beyond the next week. It's going to be a while. Mr U and I are messaging frequently, he's bizarrely ok. And mr baggage but that's very platonic. Might have a phone chat might not. My only adult convo is with exH when we swap kids over but I'm aware that's more than some of us get. I'm getting out for exercise every day at least. Kids have adjusted well, bit like when we're on holiday. It's easier being at home together because there's nowhere else to go. And we're lucky because we have a big house with a garden. Once we've moved it will be harder but they won't happen til this is over or calmer. I'm just amazed how quickly you adjust. I'm someone who is never ever at home unless strictly necessary.

Opposite to you @TigerDater I'm a news junkie. I am glued to it but obviously there's not much going on...

I know it's going to be awhile before the world goes back to normal. I'm not thinking that everything will go back to normal in the blink of an eye. The lock down will be stricter and be extended until at least May. Then once things start easing up things will be lifted gradually with schools and events being the last things to go back to normal.
But you can still think about the things you are looking forward to doing when this is all over. You don't stop having hope or looking forward to things just because the world is a mess at the moment.
I know he is going to be tired because of the amount he is working and I'm supporting him as much as I can and as much as he will let me.
I'm not voicing this to him. This was my safe space to say how I'm feeling and get my frustrations down on paper but it doesn't feel like that anymore. I don't really have anyone to do that to in real life. The world can be a very lonely place. The tone of this thread really had changed

Checking in, it’s very quiet here! Hope everyone’s doing ok, I’m actually feeling less lonely than I have in years as everyone seems to be checking in much more, family coffee each day, whereas I only spoke to parents once a week or so and what app with siblings so us all on a call every day is new! Same with friends I may only see every month or longer every few days we check on each other.
Ex is still being a idiot he’s working full time from home so can’t possible help more with the kids, but when I hung up as I was so upset he rung my mum to complain how unreasonable I was being, she gave him what for, four years of resentment towards him came out, I’m still laughing about it almost a week later!

Oh and I hope I’ve got a new iron, so obviously mentioning him here will jinx it, mr chatty, we’ve agreed on meeting for a coffee once this is over with the view to being friends and anything else will be a bonus, we’re writing essays to each other several times a day, I keep thinking we’ll run out of things to chat about but it’s just flowing, no red flags, no topic off limits, good boundaries but open, I’m trying really hard not to over invest but this’ll be hard if this goes on for months and months. So I’m flirting like mad with a couple of others!! Also mr old is in touch most days, i think I may have a good friend there as well! Mr scenery occasionally messages, if it wasn’t for the current situation I’d stop messaging him but seems wrong with how things are at the moment, he’s probably thinking the same, it’ll die out naturally I think!

@Dancerinthemoonlight I'm sorry you feel like that. I don't think the tone has changed. It's very quiet because there's no dating and not much to say. There's nothing to share from my life it's shrunk down to the essentials as has everyone's. I guess you need to decide if a relationship with someone in the army is for you. Because it will be like this for him. It's unfortunate you've only just started but if you carry on there will always be times he's away. Personally I'd love it but you're at a Italy different life stage. I'm sure he's not lost interest he's just really busy. And you're not. Makes it hard.

@Dancerinthemoonlight my goodness I’m sorry if I came across as unkind, that’s the last thing on Earth I intended. Please don’t go away.

I’ve got loads of lovely ideas for things to do when this is over, and I'm not normally one for daydreaming. But equally I think it’s good to focus on the here and now, the things you can get certainty on (sticking to a routine, getting dressed properly etc) and the things that are still free to enjoy eg sunshine, birdsong, no traffic noise.