My husband is disgusting

[katybob]

I love my husband to bits but my god is he the most disgusting thing I’ve ever known. We pretty much eat the same foods but his trumps always stink of eggs. He trumps more than I’ve ever witnessed. He pees on the loo seat and doesn’t clean it up and if I say anything he goes all winey and says he’s sorry he’ll try to remember to wipe it. He doesn’t wash plates up properly they always have something on them. He chucks his dirty smokey smelly work tops back on the clean washing them they get confused with the clean and make the clean smell. He walks about naked. We have no curtains at the mo as just moved and he’s pretty much danny devito to look at. He heaves with out fail every morning when he brushes his teeth. If I ask him to clean he makes a big song and dance and then shows me the poo stained loo brush that he uses before he flushes and it’s covered in soggy loo roll. BTw might seem like I’m just bitching. I am my councillor suggested I find an outlet. I have a one year old boy with better manners than my 35 year old husband. What annoys me most. He wasn’t like it when he lived with his parents cus his mum wouldn’t have it. His answer to it now is it’s his house he will do as he pleases. He keeps making me boil. I hate him

Wa1kthisway
I presume this is mucous caused by post nasal drip. If so, could be diet related.

LTB.

it’s his house he will do as he pleases

Well it's not just his house is it, it's your house too, so no he can't just do as he pleases when it is disgusting.

Take your son on holiday for a week and leave him to it. Maybe he'll realise how much you do. What a pig.

Wow Im in the minority here then

Yes, you absolutely are.

Most people don't/won't live like that

That sounds awful! What do you love about him? Because I couldn't cope with behaviour as disgusting as that, I'd be out of there pronto.

You need counselling to build your self worth. All your issues over anxiety and lack of sleep stem from living with a man who has no respect for you and treats you like a servant.

I hope you are discussing his behaviour with your counsellor.

His behaviour borders on emotional abuse.

You cannot put up with this.

Sit him down and give him an ultimatum... 2 weeks to pull his weight or you will see a solicitor and start divorce proceedings.

I did laugh at ‘literally Danny DeVito to look at’ .

He sounds disgusting. Every single time you spot pee on the seat call him out on it, I always do this with my ten year old DS who has remarkably started to aim better as a result (or at least cleans it up before I pester him).

Likewise with the dishes, call him out on it rather than cleaning them for him. You need to be assertive and make it clear none of his behaviour is acceptable. I’d actually be tempted to inform Mummy dearest, if she’s a clean freak I’m sure she’ll come down on him like a tonne of bricks.

It sounds like he wants to live alone in his own mucky batchelor pad so that he can do what he likes. Maybe you should try a trial separation.

I just wouldn’t live with that. If he’s seriously telling you that he’s entitled to live like a pig then you need to pack up his shit and send him to find a sty. Or, pack up your stuff and leave him to it in his shitty, nasty hovel.

You need to be assertive and make it clear none of his behaviour is acceptable.

I do agree the OP should make it known that it isn’t acceptable to her.
But also... why should she have to?

It’s basic respect not to be a filthy pig in shared surroundings. Why should the OP have to constantly be on top of him to just be a basic respectful human?

The thing that really strikes me is you began your post with "I love my husband" and ended it with "I hate him." I think your resentment will build and build until the hate drowns out the love. I am sorry but I see no future for this. His behaviour is disgraceful and what would bother me most is that he knows it; if he didn't he wouldn't have known how to curtail it in his mothers house. What does that tell you about where you're positioned on the respectful treatment totem pole?

Why would someone heave when cleaning their teeth? You mean like dry heaves? I’m confused.

Anyway, if he got worse after the baby cane I’d say it’s something to do with attention. But no one can live like that. He’s got to leave till he can adult again.

Why would someone heave when cleaning their teeth? You mean like dry heaves?

Because sometimes you can. But if you're in the bathroom with the door closed, who would know?

I imagine it’s due to having a more pronounced gag reflex.

Okay, I think I’m interpreting heaving differently...!

I think you need to start doing the same and see how he reacts!
Seriously he needs to grow up. Sounds grim.

Yuck hahaha. Was he a mummy's boy?

What a dirty bastard. He needs a carer not a partner. If someone can't fulfil basic adulting requirements without either needing to be naggingly cajoled or physically cleaned up after then I wouldn't be able to have sexual feelings about them. Bin.

There's nothing lovable about him from what you describe and if there are positive elements to him, they'd be far outweighed by the negatives imo

I could NOT stay with someone like this . I just couldn't

What a repulsive sounding man. I couldn’t share a bed with someone like that.

This sounds horribly familiar. Not the walking round naked, but the general slobbishness and foul behaviour.
My ex husband (note the word 'ex') behaved in a fashion that disgusted me so much that l refused to have sex (or even share a bedroom, never mind a bed) with him.
This came initially as a result of him having a week off work. The entire week he didn't shave, bath or shower, but still expected me to have sex with him. l refused, and refused to sleep with him. At first l said "l haven't had a bath" (l had) and he said "Well neither have l"...
He grew a disgusting beard which looked like it had things living in it. lt wasn't trimmed at all and l'm sure it had bits of food in it.
We had white tiles in the bathroom. One day l scrubbed them and showed him the 'glow in the dark' orange stains his pee had left. His response? "That's not me!" There were only two of us living in the house.
He was rude and disrespectful. He'd sulk and refuse to speak to me for days on end, then would just behave as if nothing had happened. Quoted Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus at me like it was some kind of religious tract, ie, if he chose to "retreat into his 'cave' (by refusing to interact or speak to me) then l should leave him alone until he felt able to communicate again. l pointed out that he was perfectly entitled to do that, but equally, l was entitled to reciprocate in the same manner.
When l refused to sleep with him he'd masturbate (sorry) into bits of kitchen roll, then leave them festering under his bed. At one point there was a pile about six inches deep. l think this was his way of saying "look what you're making me do." And he wondered why l was disgusted by him.
He also told me that if l refused to have sex with him, it'd be my fault if he "went out and raped someone."
He actually divorced me for 'unreasonable behaviour' because l "refused him his marital rights (!) and access to the marital bed."

Do you really think your husband is going to change, OP? lf not, if his behaviour changes for a while and then reverts to type, maybe you'll be better to cut your losses and either leave or throw him out.
Personally l don't think his mother's being at all helpful by saying "he works long hours" - is that meant to be an excuse for his disgusting behaviour? l bet she'd be delighted (!) if he went back to live with her and carried on like that.
l'd be seriously thinking about whether to stay with him. Do you want to live like this for another 40 years?

I couldn't live like this. He'd have to go

😂😂

Wow, he really doesn’t give a shit about you does he? Harsh but true. Sorry OP. I couldn’t live like this.