Dating Thread 186 - Heading into Spring with thicker skin and a new outlook on dating

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

It really is a bad time to be dating. I said to Me Army last night that hopefully it doesn't last for long and we will just have to ride it out and do all the fun dates when it is all over.
Not sure how much I will be able to see him because of potential lock downs and of the army gets called in to help he is one of the cores that would be used.
Just have to wait and see at the moment

It’s going to be tough on us singles but I also pity the very many couples I know whose idea of hell is being isolated together for 7 days! I guess we all have to watch out for our friends and neighbours, and hope for the best

@TigerDater hmmmm. Do you think you're actually single?? Does Mr G think you are? Cos I don't! 🤣 I think you're well loved up with your silver fox and slightly in denial that it is actually a relationship!

unsmbiguous ah you got me, I am indeed loved up so not emotionally single but very much single in every other respect. I literally don’t know when I’ll see Mr GN again. It’s lovely to message someone who I care about and who cares about me, of course, but it’s not the same as having him here three nights a week as I’ve been getting used to. I miss sex so much.

So I asked mr smart if he did fancy me/ given 4 dates and not a single snog. He said he did, he’d just like to get to know me a bit better and warned me that he was very frisky! It sort of made me feel better for a while but then I’m thinking if he makes a move next date it will be because he thinks I’m gagging for it !. his communication is still not the best - it’s like he has a reminder set every 48 hours to send me some WA. Says he’s swamped and busy- and I keep thinking but even the prime minister had time to have an affair...didn’t say that to him though lest we appear clingy.

@Menora. Once he pays you I hope you block him. That text he sent deserves no response and I suspect from what you say, he didn’t want one anyways!

Urgh I’m awake at stupid o’clock

He didn’t ask for a reply no, he was kind of saying he thought I was too good for him anyway. That got me a bit as I think that is the crux of some of it with his self destructive behaviours and it’s quite sad.

I'm relieved I'm divorced in these difficult times - the very thought of being cooped up with my exh 😳😡😢

At the moment both Mr BC and I are still going into our respective offices. If we have some sort of lockdown I'll miss him so much. I live alone - I can see a lot of phone calls and Skype in my future. If I have to work from home I'm going to suggest we all (my work colleagues) have a Zoom 'coffee break' so I can get a small bit of social interaction.

@unambiguousbeard
I dont know what it is but it definitely wont be marriage!!!

@pomegranatefizz
nothing fills me with dread more than having to believe and trust in someone and make myself vulnerable to being hurt.
I was really enjoying all the casual sex (with no commitment) I was having and then, bam, in walks a lovely guy who has thrown it all up in the air.
I know he really, really likes me but that scares me a lot. What if I hurt him because I'm emotionally unavailable?
He is aware that I am cold hearted and have issues from an abusive marriage.
I've decided that my motto is - what will be, will be and just enjoy it for what it is right now and try not to worry further than next week.
Good luck with your talk.

@Menora
I'm so pleased it was all resolved for you by Saturday afternoon so you could go out, hope the hangover has gone.
You definitely were too good for him and I think the great sex clouded the issue.

@batshitcrazywoman I’ve worked from home for a few Tara and I’m constantly Skype messaging or calling people from work and not just about work. It’s not as bad as you think esp if you already have friendships with colleagues.

I'm dreading it. Live alone, no support, 2 kids who fight all the time, one with additional needs. I'll be alone or with fighting kids one of whom I have to entertain constantly as she can't do it herself. Worried about my mental health without my hobby. 4 months of that and I'll be suicidal. Plus I guess my house sale/divorce will go tits up.

Hmm I feel like he's cooled off a bit this weekend. Still messaging but not as quick and his style I think has changed ever so slightly. Not obviously but I'm pretty sure.

He's also back on tinder which isn't a big deal because so am I but I did it because I wanted a distraction from thinking about him, quite sure it's not the same for him!

I'm going to try really hard to put all this out my mind this week. I need to put me first and remind myself of how much more I'm worth and try and work on keeping my new found confidence up without needing a bloke to give it to me. All of this is making me feel quite anxious and that's no fun so am going to press the pause button for a week or so.

Morning all. Sending big virtual hugs to everyone, especially if you're struggling at the moment with dating, CV or just life in general.
My mum is struggling badly with my dad's erratic behaviour at the moment. And I think being stuck at home with him for a long time will push her over the edge. Both are in their 80s. And I don't live anywhere close so I'm limited with what help I can give.

Dating is on hold for now. Over the last week there seemed to be fewer people online. And I don't really feel like meeting strangers for a drink at the moment. I need to save money in case I can't work. Self employed means no sick pay.

Hopefully things will be back to normal soon.

Hi All, it does sounds like a lot of you are so worried about Covid-19 - so sending you all a virtual supportive hug. Lets hope things don't go as bad as everyone fears.
Last Wednesday I was worried about having 4 "irons" on the go and not sure what to do. Now I'm definitely down to 2 - possibly 1. Funny how it goes isn't it. I'm not aware that I did anything to put the others off. Mr Muddy who I met last Thursday seems to have gone quiet so just waiting to see if he picks back up again. Mr mobile on the other hand has got more chatty over the weekend. We have made plans for a date on Friday and honestly the Covid-19 thing wasn't a concern but after reading this thread i'm wondering if I should be worried. All my family members are fit and healthy so I don't have any concerns for people I would immediately come into contact with - and obviously we can be careful about personal space and hygiene etc??? It seems a shame to me to put a hold on everything at this stage and in all honestly I'm more worried about the economy at the moment rather than the virus itself - so I see it as supporting the hospitality trade in these difficult times for them. Of course advice my change before Friday so will play it by ear.

Maybe I'm not taking this seriously enough but I am continuing as normal. However. I live alone and spend most of my time alone anyway. I am due to see my iron this week and dont plan on cancelling that. We spend out time at each others houses anyway so it's not like we are going out.

I'm also working from home so I just need some form of social interaction!

I work in front line healthcare (operationally) and I am sick of COVID-19. We have multiple clinicians self isolating and no masks! I wake up feeling panicky every day. I couldn’t date even if I wanted to

oh - and also its exactly 2 years ago today that I received my divorce petition fromm my exH - remember it like it was yesterday - felt like I'd been hit by a train.
Don't regret it at all - just on days like this I could do with someone to just give me a kiss and say everything will be ok
Agree with you @dazedandconfused10 I also WFH some of the time so I need the social interaction with people.

It's going to get as bad as they fear. It has exponential growth which means it will all seem completely fine until it suddenly isn't

I'm hoping the waiting is worse than when it hits. A bit like @Menora and Mr M! I'm doing all my usual stuff but my uni shuts this week. I need a routine to stay sane.

Thanks @Jane1978xx most of my job is on the phone but I would like some inconsequential chit chat too! We have an enforced break every morning and all get together (small office) so I'll miss that. My disabled DCs home has locked down so I can't visit and he can't go out ....

I chat to some of the girls in a group Skype message about totally none work related stuff - not as good as in person but keeps me sane. Even if the schools don’t shut until Easter I’ll prob have my 9 year old with me all Easter as her gp are all over 70 and I think her hol club will be closed

This may sound pathetic, and it is, but I for one am so glad this thread is here as we head into uncharted waters and (possibly) isolation. It’s a place we can express frustration and fear as well as delight and support.

One thing I struggle with is I don’t trust what is put out by the press or government, so I tend to go on rumour and anecdote anyway. For every healthcare professional or police officer I know who is playing it down, there is one who is deeply worried. I think this uncertainty is very difficult, the calm before the storm.

I gather sex toys have been selling out 😂. Amen to that.

Well take it from me we are not prepared and it is chaos. I’ve spent this morning literally trying to work out how to stop putting my clinicians at unnecessary risk

I’m dreading the schools closing or need to self isolate, I really struggle being indoors with my two, I’ve told my stbxh he has to have one if it comes to it but he’s living with his 70 plus year old parents, dawned on me last night it may well end up with him moving back in temporarily! That thought certainly brought me down.
Matching mr scenery’s effort has meant radio silence, I think if I hear nothing today I’ll at least escape the awkward face to face chat, I’m feeling ok, funny i was far more upset about going nc with mr old and miss his texts far more!! Got a few chats going on bumble to distract me!
Hugs to all, I’m with @tigerdater I’m glad this thread is here.