Dating Thread 186 - Heading into Spring with thicker skin and a new outlook on dating

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I think that's true @bangheadhere40

If someone likes you you don't need to spend time analysing if he does or not. They make it clear. Or else they're emotionally unavailable. And that is a note to self re mr RealLife. If he was actually interested he would have invited me for a drink by now or made it obvious. Sigh....

I think I'm going to see if he initiates seeing each other again and see what happens after that and be honest about what it is I want. If we don't meet I'll look into dating again when I get back from my trip.

Ok so I sent the last message to mr RealLife at about 12. He read it around then. And still hasn't replied. He's really not interested is he? I wasn't that fussed til he started to message me and try to get me to go to our hobby with him. I must be a terrible judge of men. I really thought he fancied me. He's all bloody eyes. I'm doing the hobby tomorrow so will have to offer him a lift. I can't just turn up. He said, get this HE SAID, let's cycle/drive together all the time. Etc. So now I look weird if I just go and get on with it like I did before bloody this week when he messaged me to hassle me to get up and go with him! Thank god he's going away for a bit so I can just get him out of my head. Because he's bloody barged his way in there now with no follow through.

Hadn’t heard from Mr Ski all day, no morning message from him, just got a text a minute ago saying he can’t make tomorrow as he’s behind at work, funny that he was really keen until last night when I told him he wouldn’t be having any sex as I’m on my period. He’s asked if he can see me at the weekend, I’m tempted to say I’m busy.

Ah @Lovemusic33 I don't actually think you're that bothered anyway!

I’m not too bothered. Mr Offgrid has been messaging me again today, he’s more my type but seems to be in self isolation due to Coronavirus. Have a feeling daring might be a bit more tricky over the next few weeks.

I have a feeling life in general will be a bit more tricky over the next few weeks....

I cancelled my date with Mr Law, wasn't feeling the attraction.

Also like Mr Wall and asked him out myself. I think he's taken the brunt of my frustration with the whole thing and wouldn't be surprised if he cancelled, but I'm getting a bit sick of it.

Pomegranate he sounds like a peach. Too chatty indeed. Not willing to just listen to him droning on. Still, at least you enjoyed the sex.

stuck yes to brilliant kissing! It’s not that common at all in my experience, definitely worth carrying on with when you find it.

@unambiguousbeard I'm annoyed at MrRealLife's lack of follow through. It's especially annoying when he's a real life person and not just an OLD random.

@KermitRulesOk you must be glad your divorce is over and done with now. It sounds like you're very happy with MrM.

(It's WooMaWang, with a periodic name change btw). I'm 22 weeks pregnant now. It's a little boy. MrSG and I are getting married at the end of May (on a Saturday despite it being Extremely Short Notice, as every single wedding-related person I have had to enquire about anything with has told me). So we've come a long way from swiping at this point.

Ah wooma/crustaceans! Lovely! That's such brilliant news. A Mini Slightly Ginger. I wonder if he will be... hopefully the cohabiting is working out well too. Well it
must be 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm just annoyed because he was so bloody persistent. Had me convinced anyway... it'll just make me even more wary and also mistrust my judgement if it ever happens again. As it's the first time it's happened in real life in well over 2 years it's quite unlikely.

@DisasterousManagementPlan
How lovely, a thread baby and now a wedding.
So pleased for you both

@unambiguousbeard pants!!

I asked mr scenery about his reluctance to come in last night and he’s admitted he’s a bit of a mess and doesn’t want to rush things, I’ve said slow is good and I’m happy with how things are (which I am), but I know that’s not what Michael hussey would say, and now you’ve all got me convinced a good kisser is so rare...

I mean he is going to the us in under a week for a couple of months so he could be slightly preoccupied. I I bumped into him a while back with a friend and she says he fancies me. So he could be delaying til he gets back. Or maybe he does fancy me but not enough to do anything apart from enjoy the company. Ducking hell I'm not supposed to be someone who frets over unanswered texts and overthinks everything! I'm supposed to be cynical and unavailable and not bothered!

Oh the cohabiting is working out brilliantly too. He's away for work this week and I really miss having him around.

It's a very wriggly mini Slightly Ginger at the moment. 😆

❤️

I think the reason people warn caution over going full pelt is that theres no reason to rush and I've always appreciated someone getting me to question my thinking in the honeymoon phase. My dds dad and me fell head over heels and moved in after 3 mo. Pregnant within a year. So much stuff I overlooked. Of course I'm glad I had her and hes a good dad but ...the rub is. While our personalities were bang on. Our values were severely misaligned and it cost me badly. Personal values take a while to flush out. It's not enough for the person to tell you they are like X or Y. I recall a convo early on where dds dad and I discussed a particular topic where he waxed lyrical about how he would behave given a situation. He did not behave that way when life presented him with the situation. In fact the complete opposite. And it was a deal breaker for me. Its stuff like that which always gives me caution now. I want to see how someone responds, how they adapt over time, how they really are when the honeymoon period is over. Plus now kids. I've never introduced mine to someone I was seeing. Of course, they were mostly all fuckwits or people I didnt see a future with so there is that

@unambiguousbeard mate, you know the answer on this one. Dont bother offering the lift honestly. 'It would look weird'.....it wouldn't and anyway who cares? It looks weird to me for someone to flat out ignore a text.

You know the saying. If you're finding excuses.....

@unambiguousbeard the ignoring of the text would annoy me, try and step back a little

@Notcoolmum don't leave just yet, I think you give great advice and this is an open forum.

Hope everyone has great dates this weekend. I joined FAB purely out of noseyness and have had a good laugh at the bizarreness of it all. Turns out the 'nice', quiet guy I was chatting to on Tinder actually runs group sex sessions/parties via FAB. He opened up to me when I turned him down on Tinder, shared his profile on FAB and it was all there....you can never tell with people!

I felt Mr Sparky and I had a real connection, until last night. We were messaging each other, things got heated (all fine), then he started talking anal sex. I have absolutely no desire in that area, never have and never will. Apparently that’s because it’s not him, and it’s a dealbreaker! So, after he tried manipulating (if it was me it would be great, you should try everything once, if you liked me you’d try, blah blah) he deleted me! Am I abnormal?

mylife
Sorry cant tag today
Whatever your thoughts and preferences on anal are completely right.

You do what you're comfortable with and not what anyone else does.

For a guy to go on about it so much when you have expressed a dislike is a twat and you're right to bin him off.

@Mylifestartstoday youre not abnormal, it's not for everyone but clearly important to him. Chalk it up to experience.

@Mylifestartstoday no it's not abnormal and even if it was it's your preference. Him deleting you saves you from having to delete him

@Mylifestartstoday it's your body, so your choice.

@unambiguousbeard bloody Mr Real Life! I'd back off and not bother with the lifts.

@DisasterousManagementPlan 💕💕💕😍