Dating Thread 186 - Heading into Spring with thicker skin and a new outlook on dating

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Unambigious is this the same bloke who was asking about the nearby bar? If so he sounds interested. I wonder if he's got so many female friends because he inadvertently ends up in the friend zone each time. Maybe a shove in the right direction can't hurt? Difficult though when you have a mutual group of friends which is probably making you both tread more carefully?
Eyebrows I laughed at the "he's such a man" and thought surely we're not that easy to manipulate are we, then decided probably yes 😂

I already talk to most men like that @eyebrowsofinstagram I didn't know that was flirting!

I'm also very touchy. I do that all the time to everyone. As does he. Plus we stand right next to each other side by side and talk to each other. Yes @hairyarsedman it's him. God there aren't very many attractive men in my life that they're more than one. I think I might give it a shove and blame the gin. Also he's then away for a couple of months so time to forget about it if he's horrified and shrieks, "what! But you're so old! And saggy! How dare you!"

Oh god. So I've spent my entire life inadvertently flirting with men. Ok so that explains a lot....

Hmm @unambiguousbeard I've never dated anyone that does my hobby but here are a couple of considerations. First, if I did date someone we needn't do our hobby together at the same time to enjoy it. Yet he's happy to join you; I'm maybe going out on a limb here but I'm guessing it's not because he needs a handhold. Second, I would be very cautious in case it meant we couldn't practise our hobby without it becoming an uncomfortable situation for us. He wants to get to know you - good signs I would say.

Ooh sounds like you're most of the way there then @unambiguousbeard - yes give it a go and blame the drink if it doesn't work out - only one way to find out!

😂 am I giving away all our secrets @Ant330?

@HairyArsedMan you know what my hobby is. Our regular venue closed. No he absolutely didn't need to persuade me to go with him at the crack of dawn this morning despite it being a new venue. Or get me to go with him at any point! I think it would be ok because he's away a lot. I don't go at regular times and could change my routine enough for us to not see each other much if necessary. It's a generally solitary hobby too and I'm generally a solitary person so it would be fine.

I keep forgetting to say how pleased I am about Mr G the gin and the grey beard @TigerDater

Good luck pomegranate, if it makes you feel any better mr scenery is on his way to pick me up for date 7 and I’m a bundle of nerves as well!! When does it go?!!
@unambiguousbeard tricky! I don’t envy you that one particularly if your flirty and touchy geeky already! No easy way to broach it, he needs to if he’s interested, just keep agreeing to stuff to show you want to make time for him and compliment him, as was said Michael hussey is really good.

@KermitRulesOk great update.

@TigerDater also really pleased you’ve gotten mr gn his own gin and live how a beard can spice things up and get you looking differently at him.

I have date 3 with Mr Ski on Friday, he’s coming to my house for a late breakfast which apparently I’m cooking. I think he was expecting to have sex, had been dropping hints but I have just told him it won’t be happening as I’m on my period, I’m glad in a way as I’m still not sure if I want to take things further with him.

I haven't yet cancelled on Mr Law, he isn't my type which put me off looks wise but he seems nice, intelligent, genuine so I'm going to meet him, although really don't think I will fancy him! He wants to go out for dinner now which I agreed to, I'm not sure if that was a mistake if I'm not sure I fancy him 🤔

Mr Wall who I do fancy isn't great conversation, nor asked to meet....keeps chatting, but isn't very assertive, and it's getting a bit boring.

3rd iron dropped off now.

I had a date last night. Mr Builder.
Can't decide if I want to see him again.
He wasn't my type physically, bit shorter than I like. But he was even funnier in person. We laughed all evening.
However, turns out he's a conspiracy theorist 🙄
Could you date someone if you had polar opposite beliefs on this?

I've just ditched an iron who called me hunbun.
Apparently it's not sleazy, just funny 🙄

Mr GN was here this afternoon, we’re not going to see each other now for two weeks and I’m desolate (do is he). As well as the gorgeous beard he was wearing some beautiful black leather lace up shoes. Suddenly I am completely smitten 🥰

How have the dates gone pomegranate and stuckinarut?

unambiguous I am confidently expecting you to pounce.

kermit great update.

Dance....what does he believe? And is he serious? Each to their own but not sure I could 🤷‍♀️

Confused- I would try tinder, there is a lot more choice on there than POF!

Another good date, I bit the bullet and invited him in, thought for a moment he was going to turn me down but I reassured him it was just for 10 minutes and had to be more comfortable than the car!! An hour of snogging later... wow he can kiss it just gets better and better, for tonight I’m well and truly smitten I could do that all night!!
@dancemom would depend how wacky they are and how much he believes them!!
@EchoElephant hunbun ewww
@TigerDater two weeks!!!! That’s a long time when your smitten!

Lovely to hear how smitten you are Tiger the gin episode seems a very distant memory 😉

Good update as well Kermit glad to hear he listened and respected your decision even when it's tough to see someone you care about being mistreated.

Sounds like you'll have to up the flirting unambiguous if you're both naturally tactile people. But he certainly seems to be showing all the signs of somebody who is interested 😉

And sounds like good timing and a sensible approach lovemusic if you're not sure about him yet, no need to complicate things and gives you the chance to make up your mind properly.

I'm hoping to see MissH for lunch on Friday, she's had a busy week on a number of fronts so we had to postpone meeting today. It did mean that we had a better chat on the phone about us and how we move forwards, so a bit of positive progress I hope🤞 I'm very nervous about seeing her again as I'm really not sure how she's feeling tbh.

Cancel the dinner and delete his number. He sounds most unsuitable for you.

tomatoes why on earth would you meet him again. Dating isn't the cryptic crossword. Put your puzzling skills to use elsewhere

Well that wasn't part of my plan...we slept together. I refuse to feel embarrassed about sex on a first date as we're both consenting adults and clear on what we want so no judgement please!

Big statement but I don't think I've ever had so much sexual chemistry with someone, it took us both by surprise. I knew we clicked on messages really well but didn't think it'd be so strong in person. Anyway after years of boring, very infrequent sex in my marriage I am grinning like a loon this morning.

Now the multiple dating thing has become awkward overnight. I have a second date with Mr Finance tomorrow and I don't know what to do. I really like him, I'm certain he's talking to/meeting other people and I doubt either of us wants to have the exclusive chat...

@bangheadhere40 @Stuckinarut79
I'm not too sure how deep it goes, it came up because conversation went on to the Corona virus, I'll maybe have to do some quizzing, I'm most definitely not a conspiracy theorist though!

@tomatoesontoast very simple. Text him and say you've reconsidered. You didn't have a nice evening and you won't be seeing him again. Delete and block. No confusion.

tomatoes whatever the reason for his bizarre behaviour, I can see no reason for you to meet him again. The man’s a mess. Just message him and say that you don’t think there is a connection so you won’t be taking it any further, and wish him well. Then delete number and chat/unmatch on app. If you block him now that deprives him of the right of reply which I’m not sure he has warranted, but if his reply is weird then by all means block.

stuck and pomegranate wonderful dates 😍