Boyfriend said he wished I died

[Mayjames]

Hi, this might be something or nothing but to be honest I’m slightly confused.

We are having issues anyway in our relationship but ok At the moment and in general... so we were play fighting and messing about with each other and then he randomly says he wished I would die... I just don’t get where it came from...

I straight away stepped back and asked what he said Incase I heard it wrong and he repeated it. Since then I haven’t spoke, he asked me smirking if I was going to be upset Because of it, asif it was nothing.

As I said, I’ve said nothing since and neither has he. Am I being over dramatic and what does it mean for someone to say that, especially not in an argument. I just find it weird, really weird and it has upset me, I think it’s a really strong thing to say.

Any help? I don’t know how to approach it or if I’m being too sensitive 🤨

I'm truly shocked that your original post was not titled

''My EX Boyfriend said he wished I died ''

I mean really, who puts up with a smirking bastard who is trying to guage exactly how much his comment hurt you, rather than apologising profusely as soon as he realised that what he'd said had hurt you ???? ( which is what would happen in a normal relationship with a clueless wonder who doesn't quite understand relationships and communication etc)

Abuse isn’t always physical. Emotional abuse had a heavy toll too

• has

Op, I wish you find the courage to leave. Have you heard about the Psychopath Test (Hare test). Worth searching just in case.

He didnt shock himself saying it. Because HE SAID IT AGAIN. He confirmed it for you.

You cannot get him to understand your point of view because he doesnt care.

You can keep starting threads about his behaviours, dealing with them as separate issues, but you need to look at the big picture. This is an unhealthy relationship because he is a piece of shit.

You need to stop wasting your life on him and move on.

@Mayjames..... how are you doing? Can you let us know you're okay

I'd dump him the weird bastard, what starts as a small red flag will only get bigger and bigger if left ignored. I find that these little things that people dont end relationships over end up always being far bigger

He sounds like a sadistic narcissist. Loads to read on the web

Hi all, I completely agree with everyone in the sense of there is no excuse and it’s weird. I don’t get how it could be a joke, I don’t understand how it just slips out etc. In terms of play fighting, it wasn’t full on it was just joking around and that’s why I found it more weird to just come out of his mouth. He’s maintained the fact that he really is sorry and didn’t mean it to come out the way it did For me, as mentioned... the oddest part for me was the way he was after, almost like he was trying to avoid it knowing it would be an issue but not wanting to have to deal with it.

I know there are issues in the relatoonships besides this but we are working on them, he still had his moments and this was an inexcusable one. I am seriously considering the future of the relationship, but it’s not easy to just get up and walk away, it’s a process for me. I know a lot of people may not get that and be able to just leave.
I haven’t seen him over the past few days.

Thank you for checking on me @FlowerArranger, I’m ok, I’ve just had some space over the last few days.

Xx

Sounds like the sort of comment that comes up years later during a serial killer's trial.

Sure, he might just be a nasty bastard pricking you with a pin to see how you react. But personally I'd write the comment down in detail with time and date, keep the information in a safe place and check his name on Google occasionally.

I am seriously considering the future of the relationship, but it’s not easy to just get up and walk away, it’s a process for me.

I'm glad you are considering the future of your relationship. And I understand how difficult it is to walk away. It took me 5+ years!!

BUT....... Please read WHY DOES HE DO THAT by Lundy Bancroft. It is a classic that has stood the test of time. It really will open your eyes. It's available free as a PDF online.

www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

I agree, read the book!

There was an interesting thread here a while back asking what was the typing point for deciding your relationship was over. It seems like you've got your contribution!

We know it statistically take 6-7 attempts to leave an Abusive Relationship before your manage it. Keep reading to make yourself stronger. Keep noting what and when he does things which make you question him and the relationship. See if you can see patterns in his manipulation.

The scales are falling from your eyes..... This is a positive step forward!

Tipping not typing!!!!!

You can’t work on a relationship that’s failing so much. Would you want your dd to be with a man like this? No way. Cut your losses.

Run away. He is dangerous.