Boyfriend said he wished I died

[Mayjames]

Hi, this might be something or nothing but to be honest I’m slightly confused.

We are having issues anyway in our relationship but ok At the moment and in general... so we were play fighting and messing about with each other and then he randomly says he wished I would die... I just don’t get where it came from...

I straight away stepped back and asked what he said Incase I heard it wrong and he repeated it. Since then I haven’t spoke, he asked me smirking if I was going to be upset Because of it, asif it was nothing.

As I said, I’ve said nothing since and neither has he. Am I being over dramatic and what does it mean for someone to say that, especially not in an argument. I just find it weird, really weird and it has upset me, I think it’s a really strong thing to say.

Any help? I don’t know how to approach it or if I’m being too sensitive 🤨

Dear God. You're still talking to him?

He’s acting like I’m overreacting and As though it was nothing... but then apologising

Gaslighty twat. He's got you tying yourself in knots after HE's the one who's said something awful. Fuck him off.

He's 'only' a boyfriend - not partner / husband
And you have had relationship problems
Then he throws this on you
And repeats it
Not good enough.
You could perhaps be thought reasonable to 'work' on a marriage if it hits problems, but a boyfriend is a bit more disposable - if it takes work, you really aren't suited, the relationship should not progress, therefore byeeee.

He sounds like a psychopath, run for the hills.

Seems like he said something on impulse while emotions were high play fighting. The worry is that he had that as an impulsive idea, then he had no filter and voiced it, so weird on 2 counts. I'd kind of wonder if he's the kind to do or say odd things on impulse. Odd notions popping into the head and being voiced sounds like MH issue. Is he inappropriate sometimes in other ways? Does he have a lack of self control? Whatever the reason, or meaning behind it, it's him, not you. Be wary, step back from him maybe & see how he behaves.

Does he deliberately try and shock people often? My ex did this, with his language and behaviour and the relationship did not end well. He ended up getting more abusive as time went on and things were awful. I would get out now if I were you.

Horrible, horrible man. Do not stay with him. If it is in his mind to wish you dead it would not take too much for him to achieve it. What a nasty waste of space he is. Get away from him.

That’s actually quite sinister

Very very weird. Would freak me out too.

ONLY possible explanation I can think of (and this is being very generous) is that he was trying to be funny and have a dark sense of humour and it just completely failed. Only reason I suggest this is that I had (note the past tense here) a male friend who used to try and do the whole 'Jimmy Carr' sense of humour and say the worst thing he could think of to try and be funny and it was just awful. He would make 'jokes' about cancer and all sorts of horrible things. What made it worse is that some of our friends did laugh so it encouraged him. It definitely wasn't funny.

He wanted to get a reaction. He has his wish.

He'll keep ramping up the action trying to make you more and more upset.

He's twisted. Honestly, head for the hills asap.

He's an emotionally abusive cunt. Get rid.

That's fucking creepy.

Are you in a position to dump him straightaway? Do you live together or have kids together? If not then tell him to get the fuck out (or if you're at his then leave pronto) and block him on everything.

Whatever the reason it's not a good sign at all.
You don't say things like that to people you love. Or just like. Or anyone.

You need to leave this relationship. There is NO good reason that he would say this (even if, as we all hope, he isn't a fucking psychopath).

Why are you with him? The signs are there, as clear as can be. Run for the hills.

Please.

Get rid. Psycho.

"Play fighting" is for puppies, not grown adults. It's the thin end of a rather unpleasant wedge, and what he said confirms that.

Op, that is awful. He said it twice. He isnt sorry. He is testing you and your boundaries.

End the relationship.

Not acceptable, in any way. I bet you couldn’t countenance saying that...why stay with someone who can say it to you?

Extremely creepy.

In relationships in the past I've had a lightbulb moment when one word, or one action finishes it. It just gives me this overwhelming feeling that I absolutely cannot be with this person anymore... I think some people call it 'the ick'.

This would give me the biggest of icks.

Seems like he said something on impulse while emotions were high play fighting.

Yeah I've told people I wished they would die repeatedly during playfights.

Not.

How does this fit into the bigger picture and patterns of behaviour of your relationship?

To be honest I can't even find a way to explain this in an acceptable way. The whole way you have described it and the follow up information screams horrible and designed to cause you pain. there isn't another way to see it.

Please don’t take this lightly, it is an extremely abnormal thing to say. I would be very concerned. He is now pretending to be sorry. It would worry me & I don’t know that I would be able to forget it.

I dont think hes a potential murderer ,however he sounds very cruel and unpleasant .He sounds like he is testing you TBH .Maybe he wants to end the relationship and if hes nasty enough you will do it instead . I would not see him any more at all .Bin him and have a look for a nice kind man who has preferably grown up a bit !

And he repeated it when op asked him what he's just said/did he really just day that.

He's only saying it was joke and apologising now because op is clearly not accepting it and pretending everything's normal and carrying on.

Do you live with this man? Are you dependant on him in any way?