@SirChing DD is a teenager, not quite as cute as a 9 year old, but very useful to share household chores with 😂.
Try making sure the kitchen and lounge are spotless before you go to bed, I find this helps with the general tidiness. Maybe. Or it might just be in my head?
Ok, the thing with exP is that he has a personality disorder. He fluctuates between being the most empathetic person to total lack of empathy. We were together for 3 years, we broke up a couple of times during this time, to me, seemingly out of nowhere. I just didn’t see where it came from. Because it did come from absolutely nowhere. He is very much completely nuts.
We are THE best friends ever. We meditate, do pilates, swim, read, cook, laugh, talk, gossip, watch movies together, he is an absolute delight, very very smart, fun and easy to be around with. And he totally gets my need to line up cutlery in the dishwasher tray in a certain way. So all good.
From time to time, he flips. He is paranoid and thinks I am using him. He’s addicted to porn, not a stranger to ‘visiting escorts’, I made it a very clear ‘NO WAY’ boundary and while he was with me he had to stop. Because in my silly mind, people have pasts, but they can change. He wanted to change, so he took steps in that direction. It was a long and painful journey, I let him sort it. But I know for a fact he did not use porn or cheated on me while we were together. But he began resenting me, the minute I understood that, I broke up with him. I am not interested in being anybody’s counsellor/mother but my own child’s, so I had to let him go.
He hit rock bottom. He also went back to his old ways after 4 years. I saw him often during that time and that haunted look on his face told me to stay the fuck away. We continued to be friends, we’re part of a club together, exchanged pleasantries but nothing more. He’d drop the odd chocolate or book he knew I’d love, or text me to ask if we could do this or that race, kept me informed about his family events.
Then the lockdown came. I am frontline. He did a couple of shops for me, cooked my/our favourite food, helped as much as he could. I didn’t ask him, he just did it naturally. He also listened and understood the harrowing times I’m going through at work.
As a friend, I adore him. He’s great.
As a partner though, he’s got too many issues. We’re good together, but then he needs to keep a very close eye on his mental health and I can’t/won’t be his crutch. I have zero bullshit tolerance and no patience whatsoever for his neediness.
This whole corona situation has shifted something in me at a fundamental level. I was telling him I want to cut down my hours (at the moment I work 50-60h a week), I want to settle down, I want a simple and uncomplicated life, with walks at the weekend with the dog, baking, just simple things. He responded with a ‘do you want to get married’?
He missed the bit where he is anything but simple to live with.
So that’s where we are 🤷🏻♀️