The Happy Singleton- Part Two

[mildlymiffed]

Ta-dah! Welcome to all our happily (sometimes, admittedly, less so!) single peeps! All welcome, whether your recently singled or a long-term singleton.

We've got this solo thing sorted (-ish!)

@misty9 do your thang!

I feel like a cheat as I’m still in work so haven’t had the same experience. Week 3 doesn’t sound that long does it? But ive just got my dds back after 2 and a half weeks an that felt like an eternity.i feel for you all . @chockaholic72 I’m sorry a knob ghosted you. I would have thought people would be more grateful for any nice contact - but obviously they are still out there. A bloke I had a ‘thing’ with last year is on 2 dating apps looking for a female to join him
And his girlfriend. Makes me chuckle to think THAT won’t be happening.

I’m stressed. Lost one income obvernight so worried about money. Went ages without seeing my DDs yet still managed to find the energy to gently flirt with Mr Motorcycle. We were chatting last week and worked out that we both had this week off work. He went on to say ‘I’d suggest we meet up... but we cant’. I took that as a positive (clutching at straws in these times). I could only respond lamely with ‘well, lockdown won’t be forever’ . Doh He also replied to message,after we left work, with a kiss at the end. So that’s good ,in my book.

I’m doing the opposite of the guidelines - working long hours with others in confined spaces, dealing with folk that don’t want to socially distance. I find it hard to talk to friends. Family is crap. So I’m on here wondering how you all are.

Hello, I’ve been following these threads since they began and would love to join you all. I’m a single parent just out of a long term relationship. I have to be a bit careful about what I say as I think my ex looks at MN quite regularly.....

I’ve been so impressed with the supportiveness and kindness shown here, parenting alone is tough, although I have to say in my experience it’s way easier than being with my children’s father! I am lucky in that we co-parent pretty well and live local to each other, but it took a few years to get to this.

I hope everyone is coping with lockdown? I don’t live near family, but our neighbours have a WhatsApp group set up which is lovely. I’m missing my work colleagues and friends from clubs/hobbies. A few Zoom and FaceTime meetings are flying around and I really need those for adult conversation.

I’d like to stay friends with my recent ex, but time will tell if that’s possible. It’s an especially difficult and strange time to be alone - I hope everyone is staying well and adjusting to the changes? Take care everyone.

Hello peeps,

I seem to have fallen off the thread and thought no one was posting! Hope everyone is ok, as best as we can all be. My medic friends think schools will be open in May. Who knows.

For me, haven't washed hair in ages, massive roots, kids causing havoc! I might also have a few dates too once this Covid ends. Question to all, my iron and I swap joke selfies most days. He is super duper hot, I'm a tired, stay at home mum. Should I be making more of an effort for glamorous selfies? I think i look tired but he says hot! I've realised I'm hiding greasy hair and no make up! What am I thinking?

@chockaholic72 it's rubbish to get ghosted, I had one on tinder who flooded me with compliments on a Friday, then weekend nothing, then Monday quick chat then disappears. I just think those men want ego boosts, probably married. Take it all with a pinch of salt and don't let it question your self worth, it's just one loser!

@SirChing sorry about Mr Grey, I'm not vanilla either but that does sound quite extreme and definitely one I'd stay far away from. I've been looking into all this bdsm stuff a bit as one of my irons likes a bit of this. I don't think it needs to be as extreme as I thought.

Hi all. I've avoided posting as I'm such a grump I don't want to bring the thread down! I'm so fed up with not being able to go anywhere. And I'm doubly fed up with the constant stream of cooking and washing up that two kids seems to require. The kids are largely occupying themselves today thankfully, so I don't know why I'm in such a grump. I've got them until Sunday when I'll do a little egg hunt then take them back to their dad's. So Easter Sunday and Monday alone and I think I'll avoid cooking as much as possible!

Hi all.

@SirChing Brrr! Glad you escaped.

I'm doing ok, was doing well with the lockdown thingy, only started to be a bit bored or something the last couple of days. Other than that, am good.

Fitting some Pokemon into my exercise. Staying with bestie and cats.

Hello all:)
It’s another beautiful day here, I managed to spend a bit of time outside yesterday, in the sun, and it’s been so good for my soul.
I am still working, and I’m just busy with the house, child, animals etc. And with exP, it seems. Who has been an absolute star and did my shopping for me and has batch cooked and portioned stuff for my freezer, so all I need to do is defrost and enjoy. But more importantly he has been there for me to vent at. We’re both really scared of getting together again, so it’s really weird.
I looked on POF out of boredom. I don’t think I can do the whole OLD, looks soul destroying.

So, just out of boredom, let me tell you how I fill the days I’m not working.
I have two coffees in bed, with the dog next to me, I write in my journal, I meditate, I listen to the radio. Then I do some sort of online class, Pilates, stretching, les Mills, whatever I feel like.
Then I clean for a couple of hours. And then I take the dog for a run for an hour.
Then I have lunch and talk to my friends, read a bit, have a nap, just chill. Then I cook. Watch a movie or read.
DD emerges from time to time, she’s gaming most of the day 🙄. I make her take the dog out a few times a day for a wee, I made her do some chores and she’s in charge of going to the corner shop for milk/bread etc.
So it’s all good.
What about you?

Oh man, I trust typed a long message and my phone deleted it. Hope everyone is ok and hanging in there, mentally as well as physically.

@chockaholic72 I feel just the same about isolating. Maybe it's the difference between choosing not to do something and not being allowed too? Last night I felt so bloody lonely. It's crap isn't it?

As for OLD, in general it's awful. If you are in any way open to non vanilla, I can recommend Fetlife and BDSMdates. I have had some lovely relationships from being on there. Even though it is very upfront about sex, it is weirdly less of a self esteem killer, as all body shapes are celebrated. It's definitely kinder to those of us who don't resemble porn queens. It did my self esteem so much good being on there. Nastiness isn't tolerated and it's much more respectful overall.

@Upyerbum70 Hope you are ok? It's so hard when friends aren't forthcoming and family are crap too. I don't think you are cheating at all. It's more worrying that you are at risk Every time you go to work. Please try and stay safe Feel free to PM if you are ever fed up (that goes for everyone on here)

@cacafuego welcome to our little group - so good to have you aboard. Gkad you are keeping well so far. Your neighbours sound lovely. Mine are being great at the moment too, we are all linked in Facebook. It's nice.

@Eesha Oooh the hot iron sounds promising. And nope, if he thinks you are not as your unadulterated self, keep going. Then if you meet in future, he will positively faint with lust if you look even better than you already do.

You are right re BDSM not being that scary (unless you encounter an idiot like I just dumped). The trick is to go very very slowly. Have a safeword and he should stop the second you say it. If he doesn't, run and dump. And never let anyone tie you up until you know them really well and have that trust between you. And they should always have to hand the means of getting you out instantly. So if it was your wrists bound to the bedhead, he needs rope cutters right there and a decent bloke will have you out in seconds. And don't do anything like that whilst under the influence. Safe, sane and consenting are the rules. No deviation from them. It can be great fun and mindblowingly amazing. Discussing it all with a partner makes you much closer too, as does the general trust and openness about it all. And emphasis on testing and health. I wouldn't go back to a purely vanilla thing now. I adore the openness and intimacy of BDSM too much. Any queries you have I am happy to answer them as best I can.

@Misty9 It's fine to be in a grump. Post away, No one minds. I am glad you feel able the share things. You are under such a massively unusual amount of pressure at the moment, and have been through so much, that it would be weird if you were tiptop! I would be worried you were in denial. Instead, it seems like a healthy response to a shite situation. I totally agree with you about avoiding cooking. If any of your local restaurants are delivering can you treat yourself? You deserve it.

Hi @NoMoreDickheads. Glad you are doing well. Have you heard anymore from that therapist twat? Hope not! I don't wish covid on anyone but could possibly make an exception for him (not a bad case, just one that scares the shit out of him would be nice, and I don't want him to pass it on or anything, just for him to suffer alone and then recover).

Hi @BuddhaAtSea. How come you and the ex are scared? Have the reasons you broke up been resolved or could they arise again? If the latter, are you sure it's right for you? Getting on well and supporting each other doesn't mean you have to rekindle stuff if you aren't 100% sure.

Your days sound lovely! At least the dog gets you out. How old is DD? Mine is 9 and would spend all day staring at a screen if I let her. Sometimes I do let her, other times I drag her off to do something else. As we are in for the long haul with this, there is no way we can stop the kids doing what they enjoy online for long. That's just the way it is now.

My house is a shithole at the moment. I haven't been able to clean much the last couple of years due to my fibro being bad so I had a cleaner. Then she left to better herself (very selfish of her ) and I haven't got on top of things since. My house is full of clutter and feels dirty. Any ideas on how I start with it? I can only do a little bit each day due to fibro, and I can't charity shop loads of stuff for obvious reasons. I also have nowhere to store stuff until lockdown ends once I have sorted it. Should I just focus on cleaning? Help!!!!!

Jeez sorry for all the typos in that!

@SirChing could you get someone to help you? I tried that Marie kondo technique when my ex and I split and just got rid of anything that didn't bring me joy. I used Ikea bags and filled up 9 of them. Just pick the most used room to focus on and do it bit by bit. I don't think you can clean when there is too much clutter (which I have loads).

Re: MrHot, I think I'm going/have been ghosted as haven't heard anything all day after an awkward chat/got the wrong end of the stick last night. I did message (grudgingly) to say hello about 8pm so if there is no message when I wake up tmw morning, then my fantasies of having a hot man introduce me to BDSM will have gone up in smoke! I had some great advice on here about bdsm which actually made me keen to try it out but typical sods law, got excited then they disappear!!!

@Eesha My mum will help me to flutter after this lock down is over. It's a ballache because I can only clean superficially until the clutter is gone. Never mind, we aren't going to die of muck!

That's a shame about Mr Hot. Can you not clear it up by ringing him and sorting it out? If he is a prat about it then you have dodged a bullet, if not, it could all be sorted and then you have the prospect of exciting kinkiness ahead of you.

If it doesn't work out with him, seriously try those other sites I mentionned if it appeals. Especially BDSM dates. Fetlife is good to look through to see what's what and all the weird and wonderful things people are into. Though the people who find balloons arousing mystify me. Just......how? Still, they aren't harming anyone so crack on.

@SirChing 👋 I’m terrible at cleaning but I find it helps to just do one small area. A sock drawer, a shelf etc. Take everything out and clean then look at the stuff going back- I end up ditching most of it. It’s hard at the moment with charity shops closed/Bin collection reduced etc. But small steps x

Sorry - I know I shouldn’t - but Balloons made me chuckle

@Upyerbum70 Hi! I think you are right. Very small steps indeed. Stuff for the tip can get bagged up and put in the back garden for now. Sadly, most of it is decent stuff which I just don't want anymore.

@Upyerbum70 Balloons make me chuckle too. I can't think of much less erotic than rubbing my body with a balloon. I would feel such a tit!

A friend of mine held a jumble sale at a local church a few weeks before ‘all this’. That was a good way to get rid. Bit of a hassle but a friend joined forces with me. Could that work for you ?

Oooh that's a good idea. I could maybe do a car boot too?

If anyone wants a load of Lindy Boo dresses in an 18, you can have them for the postage.

Lindy Bop not Boo FFS!

Is that Lindy Bop? Love them

I totally admire your bdsm activities. I wish I could find something similar - without actually having to go find it. Bought some interesting underwear recently and dying to wear it. If, and that’s a big if, Mr Motorcycle actually get out on a date I think I’d like to wait and wait before getting naked, if st all. We work together and I’m wondering if that’s going to be messy. Anyway it distracts me. How are you all managing to keep sane? I have friends on a group chat that feel a bit wobbly and stressed going to the shops. I try not to engage. My approach is to ignore, hunker down, pretend it’s not happening - otherwise I might crumble and I need to ‘keep calm and carry on’ I suppose.

@SirChing thanks for the tips! Not sure if it’s the time of year (or just that it’s a weird time) - apart from the ghoster all I’m getting is 65+ - I’m 47. Not quite sure I want to be a nursemaid! Normally I’m on and off in a month but I’ve resolved (and paid) for three. I’m on Fitness Singles at the mo and although I’m no slim Jim I’m pretty active and it’s clear that there are a fair few that haven’t done much - some are putting their activities as crown green bowling!

@Upyerbum70 Yes, Lindy Bop. If you want them you can have them. Just PM me your address and I will post them. Most have only been worn once or twice.

@SirChing I might PM you about these sites!

Yes, clearly you aren't a hoarder so just do everything bit by bit. I started with downstairs and just did it all slowly. It's still cluttered in comparison to all my friends though!

I think Mr Hot might contact me at some point but it's just I had gotten a tad used to hearing something from him most days. Id be annoyed if I got fully ghosted but will see. The slight disagreement was minor but I guess because my ex was abusive, I'm a bit sensitive about things. Plus this is definitely casual. We don't call, just text really as very early days. Will see! Will pm you about those sites too!

And yes, waiting to sleep with Mr Motorbike is a good idea. He is definitely into you from what you have said. He wouldn't have suggested meeting up if not.

As for the BDSM stuff, IMO most blokes are very happy to go down that route if you want to. It's very hot so why wouldn't they?

I'm taking the same approach as you to isolation. Just get through it day by day I guess. And talk to friends a lot, especially online.

@chockaholic72 There are always loads of that age who try it on. Seriously, go on other sites too. I am merciless in my age ranges, though oddly, my last relationship was with a bloke 20 years older. I can actually recommend it......he was bloody amazing in bed. All the extra experience 😂 But, now, I won't go older than mid 50s or earlier than mid 30s. There's just too much difference in outlook I find.