The Happy Singleton- Part Two

[mildlymiffed]

Ta-dah! Welcome to all our happily (sometimes, admittedly, less so!) single peeps! All welcome, whether your recently singled or a long-term singleton.

We've got this solo thing sorted (-ish!)

@misty9 do your thang!

Mature wine. I am here. X

@Maturewine78 hand holding. May you find the strength to get through this. It is just beyond awful what happened to her. Please grab all the support you can, make sure victim support can reach out to her and come and offload here as much as you need, we’re here for you. A big unmummsnetty hug for both of you.

@Maturewine78 sending strength and support that's appalling.

Also sending whatever strength I have left (not much after this week) to anyone else whose anxiety is through the roof at the moment. I'm having an awful time and feel quite panicked about the coronavirus. Not helped by a friend telling me how I'm more likely to get it as I work at a university.

@Maturewine78 so sorry to hear that 😢 and download all you like on here. Sending a handhold x

@Itsallpointless yes she lives alone. I have to fight to get her help so many times but unfortunately our society doesn’t know how to care for vulnerable people like my sister.

I’m with her trying to sort out a place at a women’s refuge for her to stay. She has been advised by the police not to go back to her flat and she doesn’t want to come stay with me.

Thank you all so much for your support. It helps to know someone’s out there. I feel broken just when I think things are improving Life seems to throw a curve ball at me. I don’t know how I’ll get through this I am really struggling but trying to keep it together for my sister and children.

@Maturewine78 I hear so much about the fight for support for the vulnerable. She needs to be in a safe place now, so I hope the police, and other support services are on the ball with this situation.

So terribly hard to watch someone you love go through trauma. I'm sure you are doing as much as you can under the circumstances.

Keep posting

@Maturewine78 I’m so sorry it sounds like she’s now in the best place 4 her x. Please keep posting and offloading 2 us x

@Maturewine78 Oh my God, I am so sorry. Your poor sister. What happened to her isnt something you could have protected her from and you shouldn't have to - because the excuse for a human who did that to her should never have done it in the first place!

Keep posting. We are here for you. Anything we can do to help, just let us know

Huge hugs to every one else too. Things are pretty shit in the world at the moment. The stress and worry can make it hard to live as opposed to just exist.

All we can do is be practical in our plans and then let it go. Our stress will diminish our immunity, so please try and find respite from stress in any way that you can.

@Maturewine78 Big supportive hugs to you and your sister.

I'm actually preferring being single during Covid-19. Look at all the threads on here from women whose OHs 'think' they have it, shuffling around sneezing and taking their temperature every five minutes! Or, even worse, still being with my XP and having him fussing about every sniff, believing every sensationalist post on SM, generally talking bollocks!

I'm just worried that, give it a month or so everyone will have Virus Fatigue and will start carrying on as normal just as it reaches its peak. Anxiety can only reach such a level before people start shrugging it off, like compassion fatigue.

I'm trying to carry on as normal and not worry too much. It's flu, really, just a nasty one - if I think of it like that it takes the anxiety down a notch or two.

@Zaphodsotherhead I think that's the best approach Zaphod. Just to keep on as much as possible taking precautions where necessary.

I do wonder whether there have been cases around the world where women have suffocated their moaning other halves in utter fury, and have been able to pass it off as coronavirus. I can't be the only woman whose mind it crossed.....😱

Thank you ladies you’ve all been an amazing support to my sister and I. We are so very grateful.

My sister has some head injuries and she is badly shaken. But the doctors say she should be ok and just needs to rest which is difficult as she is having difficulty sleeping.

The women’s refuge didn’t have a place for her and they won’t have one until sometime next week. We had to talk her out of going back to her flat. Luckily she has agreed to stay with our other sister until a place is found. I don’t know what to do, seeing her so vulnerable makes me feel helpless and out of my depth.

One positive I can take from all of this is it’s keeping my mind off of Covid-19....

@Maturewine78 Hi. I was thinking about you and your sister earlier. I am do glad that she is safe now. She is bound to struggle to sleep with both the anxiety of it and the remnants of adrenaline kicking around in her system. As long as she rests then her body will be ok. Poor poor thing.

I was thinking about your "once again failed to protect her" comment. The thing is, you are punishing yourself for not protecting her in situations where you were totally unable to. Both when you were young and now, you had zero control over the things that harmed her. Blaming yourself for that makes as much sense as blaming me, or the man down the road. I know it's much easier said than done, and you will already know all this. But it isn't your fault. None of it. Nor is it your sisters. Sometimes bad people happen to good people. And that's what's happened to you guys. Sending lots of loving thoughts your way

Hello all. Just catching up. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister @Maturewine78 - she must be fragile right now. Her world has been rocked. Can I assume she’s been offered Victim Support? I hope you’re all getting positive help - must be a relief for you knowing she’s at your sisters. You’re doing a great job-don’t put yourself down

The whole virus thing is plain weird. I was working today - 10,000 steps by 10 am! City centre where lots of people carry bulk toilet rolls and not an antibacterial product to be found. I worry for the less fortunate amongst us if the charitable agencies can’t function as usual.

Nothing further regarding ‘distraction’ man at work - who I may call Mr Motorbike. It’s completely plausible that he’d had one too many pints on Monday when offering me a ride on the bike. Two colleagues have lost their holidays this week so we have drinks/food plans afoot. I plan to sit close to him. Might even make ‘leg’ contact. Shameless, I know.

AND I had a message from Mr Jewish today “just checking in to see if you are ok and well during these times”.
I haven’t replied - witty suggestions on a postcard please.

@SirChing you are forbidden to question your gorgeousness. End of.

For info - Figleaves have a sale on. Bought a rather fabulous bra and knicker set. It’s delicious. You know...just in case...

Christ this is long

Morning all

@SirChing the rational side of me knows you are right that there are bad people out there and there was nothing I could have done to stop these things happening to my sister.

However, she’s my little sister and I thought it was my job as her big sister to keep her safe. Despite all the horrible stuff that happened to us, by some miracle I seem to have survived it all in relatively better condition than she has and I feel guilty for that. It makes me feel as though I haven’t done enough for her so she can survive It in a better condition too.

@Upyerbum70 Mr motorbike sounds nice. I might check out Figleaves as I may need shopping therapy to cheer me up. I don’t have anything witty as a response to Mr Jewish but it sounds like he is breadcrumbing you to keep you on the leash just in case and you deserve better than that. Sometimes no response is a response on itself.

@Upyerbum70 Hi! How's things? I have been worrying about people struggling to get things too. Think a food Bank trip is necessary.

Re Mr Motorbike, leg contact is a great idea. Easy enough to brush off if he is just pissed/friendly, but enough for him to pick up on if he is interested.

With Mr Jewish, I think I would say "sorry, who is this?"

And thank you for what you said, it's really kind And I shall look in the finishes sale now. Though I need more of an over the shoulder boulder holder for my spaniels ears!

Figleave not finishes FFS! Sheesh.

@Maturewine78 Morning. I Hope you are feeling a bit better today and that both you and your sister managed to get some sleep.

I do understand what you are saying. Its almost a form of survivor guilt. But I bet when you look back at the situations as they were at the time, that you can't think of much extra you could have done, with the knowledge that you had at the time. Stuff you found out after doesn't count because you couldnt have known or predicted the future.

I just want you to go easy on yourself. Guilt doesn't change anything apart from making you unhappy. And you are clearly fabulous. And a wonderful sister. I am an only child but you sound like the sort of sister that I would have wanted. Hope that's ok to say

@SirChing thank you so much I’ll be honoured to have you as my sister. I’m still working on the guilt. It’s a long process and when things like these keep happening it sets me back.

My sister slept a little and seems to be in a better spirit this morning. The police called and said they caught the guy but let him out with a caution. We are to call them if he comes anywhere near. Victim support have also been in touch and offered us support.

I went for a run this morning as I’ve missed my training for a few days. It also helps to clear my head. I only managed 5miles but every little helps as I get closer to the event. I’m hoping it won’t be cancelled due to Covid-19.

Pissy pissy morning.

Came down to find little cat struggling for breath. rushed her to the vet but nothing they could do, so had her pts.

And now it's one of those days when everything is just spiraling, and I could really do with a cuddle, but there isn't anyone. And I have to go to work in a couple of hours, Plus the dog is wandering around after me with a worried expression (probably thinking she's next to disappear...) My kids are all staying away in case any of us are infected (Covid-19, not the cat flu) and I really just want a good laugh with a bottle of wine.

Midsomer Murders is just not cutting it today and I can't go to work all blotchy!

heya it’s awakewiththebirds but I’ve name changed :).

I had an awful day yesterday because I went 2 see my family and my step mum started an argument with me. It’s made me feel like crap.

I hope everyone else is wel.

@Zaphodsotherhead Sending you the biggest hug and handhold. So so sorry about your little cat They are far more than pets, they become our family. Your poor dog will be bewildered too at her absence, and know that you are upset Would telling us about Little Cat help at all? I love hearing about their antics. Having to go to work is shit! Please make sure you bring home a bottle of wine with you, and raise a toast to the love between you and Little Cat, which will always exist even though you are apart

@Maturewine78 So glad your sister managed some sleep. Hope you did too. It sucks about the guy being bailed. Can you get a restraining order or non molestation order (I don't know what they are called)?

Super impressed with your running. Offer to sponsor still stands. PS You wouldn't want me as a sister - I am a pain in the arse

@cbeebiessavedmylifee oh no, that sounds awful. Don't let it make you feel bad. Disagreeing doesn't mean she is right. Stick to what you believe, be true to yourself, and if other people don't like that then it's tough shit (unless you believe armed robbery is a positive career choice........they could be right about that )

@SirChing it was awful!. She’s started being horrible to me since I was pregnant with my son. Her and my dad have my 4 sisters together and he’s always wanted a son (never loved us any less but he struggled with 5 girls). So he was really excited when he found out I was having a boy. She’s really jealous about it and has started insulting me and also DS now. He has a monobrow (really cute) and everytime step mum sees hum she tells me he’d be cute if he didn’t have it or keeps asking when I will shave it off. It’s so upsetting.

@cbeebiessavedmylifee That is dreadful. She is clearly very jealous and trying to find fault with your DS to make herself feel better. I hope she doesn't say those things around him. Can you say to your DF and DSM that she either changes her behaviour or you will have to distance yourself from DSM? And then do it. Its totally unreasonable for you to have to put up with this. Truly