The Happy Singleton- Part Two

[mildlymiffed]

Ta-dah! Welcome to all our happily (sometimes, admittedly, less so!) single peeps! All welcome, whether your recently singled or a long-term singleton.

We've got this solo thing sorted (-ish!)

@misty9 do your thang!

Lovely thread people! Inspiring... been for 6 months plus now.

I'm back from Oz! Had a fabulous time with my DDs - a very drunken Tazmanian man attempted to chat up all three of us at a pub quiz one night and I was so proud of the way my girls were so assertive and basically cut him dead!

I go from thinking I hate all men and will never go anywhere near one again, and then my XP comes over and helps me programme my heating or something and I think, oh, they aren't all that bad... I just don't want to be in a couple with one!

@Maturewine78 don’t guilt trip urself! U did the right thing, some ppl need a clean break and that’s what uv done. Do the right thing 4 u! Xx

@Zaphodsotherhead I’m like that, but I deffo don’t want to be with a man. They’re nice to look at but that’s about it 4 me😂

@shitwithsugaron how do I pm on mn? I’m usually good at working it out but this one bits me. I thin I’m getting old and a technophobe .

@outnumberedmummy that’s what I though too... a clean break so I can move on.

I just got back from seeing my wonderful 13yo son preform at the local music centre with his school choir. It’s these occasions the make the hard work of raising them worth it. I was so proud as he did great with his solo

Morning all!

Yes @shitwithsugaron it seems to be just a matter of time until closures now. So glad you went to A&E and that it's prompted getting work sorted. Your health is the most important thing.

@Maturewine78 you are on FB now. If You do a post and attach your just giving doodah I will sponsor you. And you absolutely did the right thing in going no contact with the ex. You can't put them in the past if they are still in your life.

Welcome home @Zaphodsotherhead! Glad you had a fabulous time. That Tasmanian bloke sounds hilarious chatting up all three of you. Did he want some kinky intergenerational foursome or something What a strange bloke. Glad your girls got rid of him and that they can more than hold their own against idiots - must be down to the woman who raised them

Thank you, @SirChing. All my kids are far more assertive than me, but eldest DD, when asked by Drunken Tasmanian Bloke why she was so acerbic, looked at me and said 'we were raised properly'. Which I think was great (both DDs do actually have BFs, they aren't bunny boiling man haters generally, just hate men who do the whole 'oh look, women on their own, they must need a man to complete their lives' thing).

Hope everyone is having a good day today. It's springtime in North Yorks and I'm scribbling away fit to bust on my last day off before i return to the day job!

Morning @outnumberedmummy and @NoMoreDickheads. And hi @Uptheshard! Hope you are all well today. Also waving to people reading but not posting.

Well, I still have a dodgy stomach etc and feel crap, but that hasn't stopped me having man trouble. I couldn't see FWB last night as puking on someone isn't very sexy. But he has said that he is in love with me and has been for a couple of years. He knows we can't be a couple, and that I am very fond of him, and is fine with that. He has health and family reasons why he can't be with anyone, and I have can't be arsed reasons So he says loves me, and I do love him as a friend but I am not head over heels for him. I do feel enough of a tie though that I wouldn't sleep with someone else or get together with anyone without telling him.

Herein lies the problem: I was contacted last night by a bloke I ended things with about aix months ago. We had been friends for years and there had always been a massive connection and pull between us. I did nothing about it as I was married so that was that. When I divorced I met some one else but this bloke was always there in the background. We kept talking and it's weird, but it's like we are two sides of the same coin. Very similar in outlook etc. And there has always been a massive physical attraction. When I dumped my alki ex, I started seeing this other bloke, totally fell for him and him for me, but I felt it was too soon and ended things.

He contacted me last night to tell me he still loves me. And all the feelings for him I had shoved into a box somewhere came pouring out again just on hearing his voice.

So, I am in a right mess. I am feeling things for two different blokes, in very different ways, and on top of that I don't really want a relationship. But equally, I don't want to pass up someone who could be good for me, but I also don't want to hurt anyone. What do I do? Help!!!!!

@Zaphodsotherhead Your DDs sound fabulous! Have a great day writing.

@Maturewine78 well done to ur DS! x

@shitwithsugaron it seems like they’ll close soon now, I’m just hoping there’s things put in place 4 working parents x

@SirChing I’m sorry u aren’t feeling well hon. I’d say from what I can read u clearly feel more 4 the
2nd bloke. That don’t mean you need to have a relationship, u can just date him and have fun and if it don’t work u don’t need to go for the relationship x

I’m also feeling quite poorly, so is DS. So we aren’t doing much today. Hope everyone has a good day x

@outnumberedmummy that's true. He has said there's no rush, he knows I have a FWB and he is prepared to wait for me to be ready to be with someone again. We shall see!

@outnumberedmummy and look after yourselves as you are feeling unwell. Hope you feel better soon

@SirChing he seems to be very understand, but take it at ur pace. And thank you honey, you too x

@outnumberedmummy thank you. He is. He told me last night that he has believed for a long time that I am his "one". And that's slightly mind blowing. But I am not going to let him push me. And he won't anyway, I know that. He will wait and just trust that all will come right in the end. I just don't want to mess anyone around or hurt anyone. So I will just have to be very honest about what I can give right now. Sheesh. Men!

@SirChing i think 1st guy seems lovely but you say there are reasons you can't be together anyway and those might not change. You seem under no pressure to decide though. I'd personally give second guy a go!

I've checked in on FabSwingers and it's quite shocking how many are married and messing around. It's all fun just to have silly chats and ive made it very clear that I'm just being nosey.

Otherwise things are good with me, just enjoying feeling more energised these days. Here's hoping it's not the calm before the storm. We have a holiday booked at Easter but will decide nearer then whether to cancel. It's Greece but I'm not a confident flyer so nervous we might get stranded!

@SirChing I know, who’d have them ey!.

@Eesha Oh I definitely can't get together with 1st guy and wouldn't want to. He isn't my type at all. He is lovely but doesn't make me wet myself laughing. And just isn't someone I would want a long term thing with. Hence perfect FWB.

2nd bloke - well....very good looking, intelligent, makes me laugh, kind, generous, takes care of his mum but isn't a mummy's boy. Has two kids but they live in Hong Kong with his ex wife who, strangely, lived in the next village to me for the one year she lived in the UK (spooky). He flies over to see them every holiday or they fly to him. Except for the next one (bloody coronavirus). Self made, driven, has his own company. And is a total Mr Grey from 50 Shades. In all senses. And that's what scares me a bit. He assures me he isn't into causing pain, but.......I don't know. Its a bit daunting. But could also be bloody brilliant.

I think I have made a decision - do nothing at the moment. I can't be arsed with it taking over my brain. I know number 2 will wait - mostly because he is bloody persistent and very much plays the long game for what he wants. But i think lots of discussions with him and no decisions.

See, this hassle is what I can't be arsed with. I might bin them both off and live as a nun somewhere! Would be easier.

Sorry. I have become all me me me.

Fabswingers is funny isn't it? At least they are honest in their dishonesty, if that makes sense? None of this "my wife doesn't understand me and I'll leave her for you" bollocks! They are clear what they are after. And there are some single ones. If you look closely.

So glad you are feeling energised! The holiday sounds lovely if you can still travel by then. Hard to know what to do isn't it? Where abouts in Greece are you going? Its such a fabulous country xx

@outnumberedmummy I know! And when you don't want them, that's when they crawl out of the woodwork!

Oh God, I have just realised. With my blabbing all about my love life on here, you will all think I am a right tart!

@SirChing I’ve swore them off for a good few years now. And I dong think ur a tart, I think u should go and do what you want!. X

@SirChing you aren't hurting anyone and everything seems really civilised!

FAB is quite fun just as an observer but part of me does wonder if their wives have a clue. They label themselves as naughty boys and just leaves a bad taste!

@outnumberedmummy I'd sworn off them too. But I swear to God it's true that once you aren't bothered, you get hit on loads! It's like they see lack of interest as a challenge.

@Eesha I doubt the wives would know. Plenty of couples do have an arrangement, especially if one of them is into kinky stuff and one isn't - I know a few blokes in that situation. And others that say they have an arrangement but it would be news to the wives.

I have mixed feelings about married people playing away to be honest (dons flame proof hat!). I haven't done it and wouldn't, but I have known a couple of people have affairs and due to the reasons why, I found it hard to condemn them. Mostly because their spouses weren't angels in the marriage But circumstances meant that splitting up was really difficult and impractical. I also think it's the person breaking the vows at fault and when I was cheated on, didn't blame the other woman at all. If it hadn't been her it would have been someone else. I saved my rage for my then fiance (very shortly after he was the ex fiance). The women owed me nothing. They had made no commitment to me. He had. It was all on him as none of them drugged him and forced him to shag them. So......I dunno. Things aren't always as cut and dried as they should be I suppose.

@SirChing I know what u mean😂. I’ll be carrying around some deep-heat spray ready to spray in the eyes of any man that wants to come near me😂.

hi also coming out of hiding 4 this thread. I’m a single mummy 2 a 2 year old lb and due in May with my 2nd. Their dad left when I was 12 weeks pregnant cuz he couldn’t deal with 2 kids