The Happy Singleton- Part Two

[mildlymiffed]

Ta-dah! Welcome to all our happily (sometimes, admittedly, less so!) single peeps! All welcome, whether your recently singled or a long-term singleton.

We've got this solo thing sorted (-ish!)

@misty9 do your thang!

@Ivebeentohellanditscalledikea sorry to hear about what you and the DC went through. I went through similar as a child with my mum and her partner and when they broke up I was really missing him. My mum found it quite frustrating, but in my head he was my dad and I couldn’t understand what he had done wrong because I hadn’t seen the ‘real world’ and understand what happened was wrong. As I got older that changed, have you and your DC had any counselling?

@shitwithsugaron you’ve got the mantra we all need to follow! Fuck that shit!. You deserve much more than them.

Ex replied to my message saying ‘okay’. I’m seething.

Morning everyone! @shitwithsugaron step away from the apps they are so addictive but full of twats. Anyone can be anybody they like on them. Very rarely themselves! That bloke sounds a right dick!

@Misty9 glad you enjoyed the film. And YES to the dressing. I want to go through my wardrobes and sell loads of it now and charity shop the rest. It doesn't feel like "me" if you know what I mean.

Morning @Accidentalaccountant, hope things are ok?

@Nosleepp he said "okay" Well, there you have it. So is that okay to not seeing them or okay to court. Whichever, it's a fucking appalling attitude! What an utter waste of space and excuse of a man. You and your kids have dodged a bullet with him. How DARE he feel "okay" about not seeing the kids They deserve much much better than him. Luckily they have it - you!

@Misty9 I feel the same, I just don’t feel myself in my clothes anymore (very boring jeans and jumpers). But I don’t know if I have the confidence to try something new.

@SirChing He means okay to not seeing the kids. I just don’t understand how the man I fell in love with and had a child with has turned into this. He’s unrecognisable.

@nosleep yes it’s very sad that he’s “ok” but he may well change his mind further down the toad as time goes on. I hope he steps up and recognises that he’s still got a role.. that’s if you still want him around.

My DDs father is a sensible professional and seemingly ok person. But after 8 yrs he still acts surprised when I remind of school holidays etc. He gets the same emails as me. But for some folk the kids just drop off their radar and I’ve acceoted that now. You get all the fun stuff. They get fuck all. But their choice. Hope you’re having an ok Monday.

Re clothing. I felt the weight creeping on so about 18mth who I bit the bullet and signed up for Slimming World. Lost1.5 Stone so look and feel a lot better and now but a sexy underwesr that just sits in the drawer.

Am sterrring clear of the apps. Have started to think about abloje in my office - as a distraction - he’s sweet and when my hormones are raging I think of him as a potential FWB. He sent an email on Friday with a x and a wink... so hoping I’m not imagining things. We have drinks after work tonight so who knows....

Appalling typos. Sorry

@Upyerbum70 Ooh you dark horse, you kept that quiet Good luck for the drinks tonight. If it's meant to be then it will be - let us know how you get on.

@nosleepp well, like upyerbum70 says, I hope he realises in time what he is giving up. In the interim, the kids are far better off without him if he is in the frame of mind that they are optional. He wouldn't be optional in their hearts and its those you need to protect. So fuck him. Between you and your mum, they will get all the love they need

@nosleepp what everyone else said and or perhaps better for you. Your kids are lucky to have you.

Re the clothing issue, I've dropped 2 dress sizes (12/14 - 8/10) through stress and massive dietary issues, so most of my clothes don't fit anymore and I hate shopping...

@Upyerbum70 ooh sounds fun enjoy yourself later

@Misty9 I am happy to take on your stress of it results in a drop of two dress sizes. That would only happen to me if I cut bits off I think, or used the Hoover to do liposuction. I have gone from an 18 to a 16 and stopped. Waaaaaah! And it's nothing to do with crisps and chocolate (much ).

Sounds like you need to treat yourself to a whole new wardrobe. If you are skint, there is always ebay.

@Misty9 i did the Marie kondo thing on my clothes and got rid of anything that didn't make me feel sexy/bring me joy. I follow blogs about dressing so no longer in leggings ever. It's a slow process. I think with my ex, I felt worn down by our issues (his temper and drinking) that I just wasn't bothered anymore about how I looked. I'm trying to get fitter too with 15min workouts and my body is looking much better hourglassy too as a result.

Oooh just noticed the dietary issues! That's not fun at all. Hope they are improving? You poor thing

@Eesha That's a great idea. Which 15 min workouts did you do?

@Sirching i do this one

Emi Wong no jumping. I won't lie, I've been doing it for 2 months and still feel tired despite how easy it seems but I can't say I don't have 15min to spare. I also eat more regularly now rather than very late, and I avoid sweet things which I realise now i was eating just out of boredom!

@Eesha Oooh thank you! I have just got a Pilates book too and want to start doing that. I have replaced fruit for other sweet stuff. I am eating tons and tons of it. Especially melon and grapes. Totally gone off other sweet things. Which is weird. Very into veg as well at the moment. With lots of protein. Carbs hate me so it can't hurt to drop them for a while.

Pilates! It’s my go to. I’m sat in the car outside the class now waiting for it to start. You lie down and get fit. Win win. Now I’ve shifted a bit of lard from my waist I can actually see the difference. Though I’m hardly Davina McCall . I found a teacher I like, close by, flexible times and reasonable. It’s great. Though to many ladies of a certain age and little in the way of eligible bachelors. 🙄

@SirChing well done! Weirdly I realised it was an addiction and once you do a few days of less sugar, you don't miss it. I'm not sure I'm that much slimmer, less bloated, more hourglass, and have been told i have a 'glow'!

Wow @Eesha! That workout actually looks achievable. Knackering but achievable. I am so deconditioned with fibromyalgia that I might have to start doing fewer of each of the exercises, but every one is one more than I wouldn't otherwise have done. And i can build up to the full 15 mins. You may have just changed my life slightly. Thank you

@Upyerbum70 Wow that's spooky timing! I am going to start off at home and when I get a bit fitter, go to a class. I have been too ill to leave the house much for a good few weeks so need to build up my strength again.

For thr first time, I am starting to believe that I can actually do this! Pilates and HIIT and low carbing is this years health investment in myself. Thank you sooo much guys xxx

@SirChing it's definitely doable and just makes me feel better mentally that I've done something. I have two small kids so no free time for the gym and this just works. Little steps!

Little steps is fine with me. I am going to keep a notebook of what exercise I do and how many, so I can see how many I build up to.

It sounds silly, but it feels like you have just given me a torch to see my way out of the fibro prison. Thank you so much xx

@SirChing keep us posted on your progress, it's doable, coming from an unfit person like me.

Not wishing to humble brag here but a mum at the playgroup who I hadn't seen in a couple of weeks said today I looked like I'd lost weight plus my lipstick looked great so I am officially championing 15min YouTube workouts, less sugar and Maybelline 24hr lip ink (recommended on the style board on mumsnet)....it actually works!

@Eesha Wow, you sound as if you look fantastic. I am off to buy some of that lippy. I have some Kat Von D stuff and Mac but it doesn't work.

I won't be starting today. Being up and about after this virus from hell feels like enough for one day! But I am starting and will do this. Thank you so much xxx

@SirChing try eBay, I just picked a colour I thought might suit me. What I liked is it stays on for ages and I wanted something I could forget about. I also brought something bright rather my safe pink options. I'd say yes I look good but it's honestly more a mindset these days, maybe too much Lizzo!!

@Eesha I just ordered two via Amazon. Superstay.matte lip ink in Pioneer and Ruler. £4.73 each. I was dead chuffed. Had to set up a subscription and then cancel to get it at that price but it's literally two clicks so easy peasy. I bloody love Lizzo! She is my current girl crush. And that's great that you look good and have that mindset. I do sometimes and that's when I tend to get hit on. When the mindset isn't there.....nope! Weird huh?

Thank you for the kind words everyone. I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to come off my phone for a little bit and just focus on the kids, cos they need everything from me. You’ve all been a great support x

@nosleepp That's totally understandable. We are always here if you ever need us or want to come back. You are an amazing woman and fabulous mother. You will do your kids proud