@nosleepp Aw poor little mite. Tonsillitis is horrible for them. So glad he is being treated. Your little ginger DD is gorgeous (us gingers are a force to be reckoned with 😉😁) as is your decorating. It looks amazing! I thought it was done by professionals! You have a talent there. Set yourself up a female only decorating company when the kids are a bit bigger and you will coin it in - lots of us feel a bit vulnerable with strange blokes ib the house and would prefer a female only company.
@mildlymiffed anxiety is a total bastard but it can and will get better. There is no shame in taking meds to help you through. Talking therapy really does help too. If that's hard to access, I used to recommend the following book to patients: Mind Over Mood a workbook. It's pretty much DIY CBT and has some good outcomes. There is also a website called "Living Life To The Full" which does similar but online. It really will not always be as bad as it is today. You can get better!
@BuddhaAtSea You bloody rock! You know exactly what the issue is re wanting someone rather than it being your ex specifically. And your coping mechanisms are amazing. Of course, they would be more amazing if you chose to clean my house from top to bottom - and probably far more challenging for you too 
Plus, loving a sociopath is loving a shell really. We can hope it contains what we want it to. But it seldom does. It's just a void.
Yoo hoo @NoMoreDickheads. How is the course going? And how are you in general? Hope things are better and you have cast arseholes to the side.
Also hope you are feeling better today @shitwithsugaron and @Emmerdaledramaqueen. It can be hard getting used to a whole new normal. But we aren't fully there yet. When we are, life may be spectacular. It's the getting there which is the hard part.
@Ivebeentohellanditscalledikea Welcome! Wow you also rock. Getting away after 10 years of abuse is amazing. Kids can be horrific can't they? How old are they? On the bright side, they are little for such a short time so before you know it they will have buggered off into their adult lives. But every minute feels like hours when they are like that. Does your council run courses on challenging behaviour in kids? Ours does. They are free and in term time. I had some input at DD's ASD made her quite challenging at one point, though not the full course. Apparently for those who do it though, the course is bloody marvellous.
@Misty9 Hi lovely. You are MEANT to post here when you are struggling. It's why we exist. It is really hard sometimes to wonder where the direction is - especially if we have taken on messages through life that we need a man to complete us. And our world is full of those messages. Doesn't make them true though. And it's super hard feeling settled when there is and will be so much change. Distraction, good food, exercise and sleep are your friends.
I bet you would also gain a lot from the Mind Over Mood book (I am not on commission, promise). It's so good at working through how our fundamental fears and beliefs affect our thoughts and behaviour. And looks at whether the thoughts and beliefs are true or helpful. And helps to change them if not.
I know a few people who had to change their numbers due to scammers. It's a ballache and shouldn't be necessary, but they are bloody good at what they do. If they weren't so completely morally bankrupt, they would actually be impressive re how believable they are. Have you told the police? It's always worth doing so as they may be building up a picture of it in your area. You can report online if you like. At least it gives you some comeback against the fuckers. If you phone BT, cant they also block the calls from your number? I think so. It would save you the arse ache of changing numbers.
You sound pretty low, so 
and huge hugs. It will get better. Until then, my bosom has dried out from the tears of others so feel free to have a sob on me 
