@Goldfinch432 There is such a thing as severe mental illness unfortunately, episodic or otherwise, and sickos will take advantage of that. That is exploitation.
There are also some very calculating men around, who know how to try and keep getting what they want, by messing with people's psychology. Manipulation.
Coercive control is also a thing, illegal now, and should be prosecuted more often/ the law I think will eventually expand to include more permutations on it, though prosecutions will be rare.
That only has any relevance to one or two of the guys I had experiences with though maybe.
everyone is selfish
I read a bit about the 'shark cage' (women's ability to avoid predatory men.) They describe a continuum that goes:-
selfish > self-care > self-less.
In theory it's usually possible to care for yourself without hurting anyone else much. I imagine this mightn't be the case in some circumstances, but probably could apply to being an OW or having an affair.
Two people might fall in love where one or both of them are married, but they don't have to act on it until both of them are single. Or, someone could leave their marriage before they take any steps into an emotional affair etc.
Sorry if am rambling- bit knackered etc.