Dating Thread 185. Rule 6 reminder - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head there shitwith - too much time to overthink! I really feel for you 💐

Hopefully he is just worried about you @shitwithsugaron I know I can over worry about people and then snap at them because I am worried not they have done anything wrong. But keep one eye out for it!

I agree, it probably came from concern and you're irritation is understandable given your awful few days.

I had a lovely date last night. We talked A LOT.
Then kissed in the car like teenagers and went home.

@clovertoast - glad you had a lovely time, did he stop the sex chat so much?

Yes we talked about normal stuff , and I actually addressed that. He apologised, said he really fancied me but would stop if it was creeping me out.
I'm seeing him again Saturday
Date 7 ( I think lol )

That’s so nice @Clovertoast I’m really pleased!

Our non sex evening was really nice. I’m trying not to sit on that smitten bench just yet. I’ve become some insane woman who likes to make food for a man and I’m not pleased with this transformation 😂

Just catching up, always read but often don't feel qualified to comment! shitwith I'm really sorry to hear about what's happened, it sounds absolutely terrifying tbh but glad to hear you feel on the mend. Just to echo others, mrL was likely worried about you (how's things with his mum? Could that be a factor?).
unambiguous I think not meeting MrU is sensible. Like you've said, you won't concentrate on anyone else if he is on the scene. I also didn't like the comment about having sex until you/he meets someone else. I'd feel a bit used I think, either way.
Happy to read about Mr Dumfries, bang I hope you had a nice evening. Good luck with MsH, ant it sounds like you've both had a bit of a freak out but hopefully it can be resolved. If not, moving forward as friends will be tough in the short term but always good to be amicable.
Not much to report from here, things are still going strong with MrY (coming up 6m now) and he's been v supportive through a stressful few weeks for me. Deaths, divorce and my mh taking a little dip but he's doing everything I could ask and more. and he's bloody good in the sack
Sorry to anyone I've missed, I've rambled enough!

Tiger I don’t have a dog and neither does he 🤣 or a dog walk would be great.

My dog is obsessed with Mr M and chooses him over me every time. When we wake up and Mr M is there, ddog goes bonkers with affection for Mr M and couldn’t care less about me! It is heartbreaking!

Try borrowmydoggie.com?😂

Lovely update re Mr Y keepcalm but I’m sorry you’ve been having a tough time more generally 💐

@Clovertoast @Menora a non sex evening Is nice as it makes you feel like they enjoy your company just as much without it.

I’m still on the smitten bench but it feels very surreal at times after being with someone previously for 15 years. Also some of the nice things he says or texts I find it hard to accept he’s saying them about me and they are true. I don’t question it but it makes me feel like I must be more damaged from the things my ex h used to say and do than i thought ( put downs and his wandering eye and emotional affairs).

Oh for dog walking Theres a charity called the cinnamon trust where you walk dogs for ill or disabled people in your area. You don’t pay a fee or anything and you are helping dogs stay with their owners. I did it years ago and I want to sign up again now dd is Older

Thats how I feel @Jane1978xx after a long marriage where he just could never be bothered to make any effort or make me feel nice ever, being complimented is very addictive!

@clovertoast yes , I just struggle not to believe it as such but to accept it. Some of the things he says maybe are a slight exaggeration thou but I’m
Not going to question it and look like an insecure idiot

I’m the same
Also as I really worry he’s been in a vulnerable place where he felt rejected, whether any of the affection and care I show is latched onto.
This sounds awful but I think he’s in the position of leaving a marriage that turned sour and loveless and he felt like he didn’t have any value, and I am in the position of valuing myself but probably wanting affection as it’s been so long

He is so affectionate to me it’s a surprise how much I like it, suppose it shows what can happen when you build a wall around you 😂

Hi new to this thread...what is Fab please?.

Mr G has been divorced years and dated a lot and had short term gf so he doesn’t have any hang ups or baggage really.

The affection is a huge huge change for me too I don’t think my ex h kissed me on 5/6 years and now it’s for hours 😁

I can take the general compliments about how I look And also the I had a great night compliments. The ones I struggle with are the general ones about what I am like as a person or how he feels about me. Got to get used to it I guess

@Jane1978xx

Even the little things are surprising sometimes. I make dinners if he comes over not a takeaway or anything, as he has also cooked for me and he’s always grateful and then last night made the pancakes for us all. He will also clear up and let dog out. Say thanks for food. Tell me he misses me, say he can’t wait to see me. He once even sniffed my pillow 😂. On Sunday when I was slightly hungover he went out to the shops of his own accord and bought me hangover food. No one ever does anything for me! I’ve spent so long doing everything myself

@Menora yes those little things, having a bottle of Prosecco in his fridge, queuing some films on Netflix and sending me the link. Doing my washing up.

He will say I love your bum (I hate my bum) you have such pretty eyes, you are so pretty. He also says he thinks I am a good mum and a good person. I try to say nice things back to him too (that I mean) because I think it’s easy to take them and never give them back

Yeah I’m not good at saying Things back and I’ve told him that. I usually say he’s really funny or I can’t keep my hands off him 😂.

He’s been a bit down lately as I think reality of shared parenting has hit home that it’s not all smooth sailing. He is hurt that despite trying to be amicable she’s been a bit difficult with him over some little things. All I can say is don’t sweat the small stuff.
She’s also done a hit on his self esteem lately which is a bit worrying - I don’t actually think it’s intentional or cruel on purpose, but he’s taken things to heart as he’s a bit sensitive like that

Hmm @shitwithsugaron I never answer when Mr B calls. It's just become a joke. I wouldn't take being interrogated over it!

He has really soft skin and lovely big arms and such beautiful eyes so I am always telling him things like that 😂

@menora that’s cute

I struggle with my ex h so much even the smallest thing he is v hard to deal
With