Dating Thread 185. Rule 6 reminder - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Clovertoast. 8 to 8.30 on a Work night is late. Is he picking you up
Or your alone in a bar ?

Hes picking me up. It is late. 8 was already late.
But, he lives 40 mins drive from me and I don't drive so he's been doing it. Which I understand can get annoying.

Text sent, she said she doesn't really know what to say or do atm so will be in touch over next few days.
So I'll be spending my next few days staring at the WA logo willing my phone to ping 😂

He's still coming to see you @Clovertoast even though he's running late and there's no sex on the cards. Isn't that what you wanted?

Eurgh @Ant330 I hate that feeling. Good luck. Hope it works.

Yes you're right @Notcoolmum I probably need to give my head a wobble. Thanks.

@clovertoast it's good that he has let you know he is running late and before the time you were due to meet. Previously for me it's been them letting me know they are running late when it's already passed the time they were meant to be seeing me.

@Clovertoast yeah me too, but ok to do it under these circumstances.
I think I just need to carry on assuming she won't change her mind though, that served me pretty well while I was away so will continue with that. It's then an unexpected bonus if it's more positive news.

Well that was interesting... I went on a date this evening with someone I've been chatting to for a few days. Suggested a nice bar in town, and met her there - at which point she says she's not drinking at the moment.

Which is fine. Until she tells me why - she's x months pregnant!! She'd also lied about her age, which she only mentioned this evening. So I wasn't particularly impressed.

I also had a date on Saturday - had a nice time, got on well I thought and both said we'd like to see each other again. But since then she's ghosted me.

In the meantime, I've arranged to see Miss Haircut again this weekend - she's been growing on me, but I'm still not sure what she's looking for as she's always busy and doesn't have much time free.

And I was on a date last night, and around the area where I met Miss Confusing several times... felt quite sad, and made me realise how much I still miss her. It's been 3 weeks now since we last spoke, and having stalked her on Instagram it seems she's feeling pretty down at the moment. But I'm resisting the temptation to get in touch!

@Ant330 I've gone through a few breakups and reconciliations - the best thing to do is give her space, and let her figure out what she wants as you're doing. It's tough, but if you think she's worth it you need to go through it. That message seems ideal, so fingers crossed she decides to try again. I always found it took a bit of time to feel like things were going back to normal - it was like treading on eggshells for a while, but usually a good session of make up sex went a long way to making things seem more like they were.

Also the thing I had to keep telling myself was that actions speak louder than words - if there's anything you're telling her that you'll be changing, then make sure you demonstrate it too. Good luck!

@shitwithsugaron that sounds scary! Hope you are feeling better now, and on the mend.

@ant I really hope you 2 can work it out, seems like you both want to be with eachother...🙂

@cat I understand the miss confusing, could you think of unfriending or whatever you do on insta ( don't have it).

Mr Dumfries turned up before I called and has stayed. It's going well and I think we have connected a bit more this evening rather than the usual ' weather' talk. I did ask about the weekend and all good. I find it quite hard to relax, but am getting there with him I think.

@ant maybe say you miss her, she could be frightened of getting hurt again, so nothing to lose!

@bangheadhere40 I did unfollow her, but couldn't resist having a look last weekend to see if she had posted anything after Valentine's Day. Then the other day one of her posts came up in my search page as a suggested post, and I clicked on it without realise it was her.

Glad to see things are going well with Mr Dumfries!

@cat, thanks.

Can't believe the pregnant lady also..I feel sorry for her really...😔

Miss Haircut sounds like she has potential, and I would give her a chance if you get on well....you don't always find what you think you want!

Ah I'd forgotten what fun tinder is! I've had such a fun evening messaging men. Rematched with a couple of old irons. I'd forgotten the whole ebb and flow thing. Already been offered NSA sex by a couple of much younger men. Not drawn in this time. Date being arranged with one who is actually my age and a couple of others seem promising. I think having all that time away from it (well 2 months off the apps and 3 months not actually meeting anyone) really did the job. It feels like fun again.

I'm going to cancel meeting mr U. I'm not going to have sex with him again.

Well done @unambiguousbeard! Don't see Mr U again

I think I need to go and flick through tinder, I did change my photos a while back but the only person that noticed was Mr Offgrid who seems to keep checking out my profile.

I had a few messages from Mr Ski but then he went a bit quiet, he is talking about a 2nd date, asked what I would like to do, I struggle to think of things to do this time of year and I get bored of going for a drink or lunch. Roll on spring and better weather.

I really want to see Mr Offgrid again and will try and arrange it this week or next, he’s the total opposite of Mr ski, would be good if I could lead a double life and date both 😂 (best of both worlds). I also want to see Mr Snake again but it’s tricky as I have to drive to him. I have another iron who’s being quite persistent but lives quite far away, he’s a bit cheeky and probably only wants sex.

Going to keep busy today and try not to phone watch, not sure if Mr Ski is going to message, I need to stop worrying about it as it’s not really the end of the world if he doesn’t.

@unambiguousbeard great news, glad the break revitalised you!

I think all you can do @ant330 is say you've been an idiot. That fear got the better of you and you miss her. But as you say you can't expect her to react favourably. Just hope. When Mr S got back in touch what I wanted to hear was why things would be different. And a clear view of how he saw us progressing.

@shitwithsugaron not sure of your back story about this guy as I only pop in and out here but regardless of the WiFi or 4g being bad you don't have to be available for anyone 24/7. Red flag for me without a doubt. Hope you'll get home soon and are feeling better

shitwith really sorry to hear you’re still there, that’s rubbish. What are they saying? You’re clearly pissed off and frustrated. Not sure I would take mr l’s attitude to you not answering as a red (controlling) flag. Remember as you’re in hospital he may be genuinely concerned if you don’t answer - you could have been whipped off to surgery for all he knew. Perhaps he’s being light-hearted to cover up his concern?

unambiguous great to hear you sounding so upbeat. I concur that keeping away from Mr U for the foreseeable sounds like the best idea.

lovemusic how about a dog walk with Mr Ski?

@shitwithsugaron - I guess it depends if it was said in a jokey or serious way? If it was a joke then I wouldn't think much of it, but if he was serious then that's a slight amber flag.

I hope you get out of hospital soon and that you are on the road to recovery.