Dating Thread 185. Rule 6 reminder - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Just had a google and a 14 is a 32” waist, that doesn’t seem big. I’m a 30 and I wouldn’t have a big waist if I added on a few inches.

Ok! So I messaged “Hey, just planning my week ahead. Did you still want to meet up on Tuesday?” And he’s replied “Hey, yeah if you’re still up for it?”

Any tips on progressing out of “professional acquaintance/friend zone”? I feel like suggesting an evening date is going to be the thing that does it. Maybe after this one..

@bangheadhere40 Oh sounds infuriating! Cuddling, sex and treating you well sounds great though! Do you think you could be self-sabotaging because it seems too good to be true?

I'm sorry everyone, there won't be a thread wedding. He then messaged me saying my wife so I blocked him.
Mr Army is going to let me know when he is free but can't wait to see me again and liked my idea especially because if the deal. We are both careful with money.
Haven't heard from creepy Mr Runner since earlier but I have deleted his chat thread, never did save his number.
Mr Carer is still irritating me by wanting to text seemingly every 5 seconds. I understand that he might be lonely and had a lot that's happened to him but I'm not a therapist and I have my own stuff to deal with

@bangheadhere40 what are you doing in between those times you must be happy and relaxed in each other’s company to enjoy a full weekend

@trees, I could be self sabotaging yeah...that's a possibility 🙂 I am known to over think and do worry a lot, so I'm aware it could be me thinking too much into it and looking for things that aren't really wrong in the first place.

I'm used to getting more directness.... but then I was love bombed ages ago a few times years ago, so the words meant nothing then on those occasions!!!!

@jane we went for a walk and a coffee out, watched a lot of tv. Mainly stayed around his house.

@trees , maybe ask what time would work for him, or just give him a time that suits you and check that is okay with him.

@Treesinthewind after work drinks that’s safer?

I’m too chicken! And also am a single mum who lives with her parents so evenings are difficult, especially at short notice...

So you are defo comfy just hanging out.

banghead it does seem strange to me that after seeing him 5/6 times for increasingly long periods of time you still can’t read him. He may not be a deep talker but does he have deep feelings about anything - politics, his DC, dogs? Is he just a bit shallow? Also, you seem to focus on what his feelings for you might be but surely the important thing is what your feelings are for him? Does he inspire you at all, does he make you laugh? I’m just sensing a bit of a disconnect, sorry.

@Dancerinthemoonlight you're right to block him what a weirdo talking about marriage right off the bat and what the hell does hurdy hurdy baby mean anyway?! And at the other end of the scale I think you're right to block the one who was talking about wanking too without knowing you at all! Just, no! Although saying that, Mr Belgium and I were talking about all the cities in Europe we could visit together and he sent me some filthy emojis and I liked it! And I don't normally like that sort of thing with irons at all! So that's another first with him...I'm letting him get away with not living in the same country and talking dirty! I really like this one don't I

@bangheadhere40 is there a topic you are both into ? We found out we are both into conspiracy theory Type stuff (not that we believe it all) and we talk about that a lot for hours and look at stuff abut that (geeks) 😂.

@stillsexystillsingle you do sound like you really like him. Have you video called with him? I'm worried I'm beginning to feel that way about Mr Army when I really haven't had luck in dating or relationships. I almost didn't swipe right on him because he is incredibly similar to my ex boyfriend who dumped me last February - both from the same island in the Caribbean and both in the army. I'm glad I did though because there are so many differences. Talking to him is just easy and I have always been terrible at opening up and properly communicating with men

@bangheadhere40 My ex definitely love-bombed me and we took things far too fast, so I both expect that and am terrified of it!

@Dancerinthemoonlight no and I'm not sure if I would want to do that before meeting him in person but then again he might ask me to and I might say yes and surprise myself again! But at the moment we're just texting via WhatsApp with vague plans for him to come to the UK around Easter time. We'll see. Mr army sounds promising just try to relax, enjoy it and take things as they come. It's great that you're finding him really easy to talk to!

@tiger he does make me laugh....I do like him and fancy him. He doesn't really talk about meaningful stuff much.

@jane we can talk about standard topics.

I think I'm feeling a bit of a disconnect, but not sure if I'm imagining it, I guess this week will tell. I just sense a bit of a shift in how he is being with me ( compared to last few times). I think I'm worried he is losing interest. He was very expressive the weekend before how much he liked me.

So he is capable of saying stuff about how he feels, just hasn't this weekend.

@stillsexystillsingle I know you know this but just be careful if you haven't video called as he might not be who he says he is

@trees did you sort a time for your date?

Yes I will. All bets are off until he actually comes to England and arranges to meet me then I'll know if he actually is serious about us possibly progressing something between us. Until then I'm seeing it as a bit of flirty texting and nothing more. But thanks for the heads up by the way it's probably my fault we haven't talked on the phone yet as I told him I don't like talking on the phone! We'll see what develops. If I get to the point where I do feel comfortable with it I could suggest it. Generally I prefer to keep it to just texting until I've met someone in person though...

@bangheadhere40 I replied “I am 😊” (still up for it) “What time is good for you?” I think he’s maybe someone who prefers talking face to face so am just going to wait and see how it goes when we meet. (And try not to get over excited!)

Hi all

Can I just say that reading this thread is a great tonic and better than the OLD
I'm experiencing so far

One mr museum who has become what I thought was a fwb but three meets on appears to be a fb. Not sure how I feel about that but great when we meet.
Mr Spain liked to text and just was going on too long so I ended the texting until he was ready to meet again
Mr retail messaging on pof. Unsure as I thought we were gearing up for a date but it didn't materialise over the weekend.

Don't want the world just want a good old fashioned date!!